48 pages • 1-hour read
Ego Is the Enemy: The Fight to Master Our Greatest Opponent
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Themes
The Importance of Self-Awareness
A common thread that runs through Holiday’s advice in Ego Is the Enemy is the importance of self-awareness. The author often counsels the reader to reflect on their own thoughts and actions, arguing that self-awareness is the foundation for overcoming their own egoic tendencies. He encourages the reader to adopt an active role in their own self-development and develop a critical lens through which to interpret their own thoughts, motivations, and actions.
Holiday employs the analogy of a fighter readying for a fight to illustrate how self-awareness is a critical aspect of preparation and success. Holiday writes,
Take fighting as an example […] where self-awareness is particularly crucial because opponents are constantly looking to match strength against weakness. If a fighter is not capable of learning and practicing every day, if he is not relentlessly looking for areas of improvement […] he will be broken down and destroyed (41).
Holiday thus presents self-awareness as a crucial part of both self-development and anticipating areas of weakness that could hinder one’s chances of success.
For Holiday, self-knowledge involves not only identifying missteps but also actively giving oneself reminders to beware of egoic motives, writing, “A smart man or woman must regularly remind themselves of the limits of their power and reach” (124). These reminders become especially important during times of failure and adversity since people will only understand what went wrong by considering their own actions as well as other people’s. Holiday argues that developing self-awareness through reflection is one way to weaken the ego’s power. He explains,
It’s always so tempting to turn to your old friend denial (which is your ego refusing to believe that what you don’t like could be true) […] But change begins by hearing the criticism and the words of the people around you […] It means weighing them, discarding the ones that don’t matter, and reflecting on the ones that do (186).
By engaging in this intentional reflection and honing their self-awareness, people can use their failures as opportunities for growth. While this may translate into professional success, Holiday cautions the reader that “anyone can win” and that they must use their self-awareness to succeed while also relying on it to maintain their principles (197). As such, the author argues that a crucial aspect of reflection and self-awareness is to develop a high standard of one’s own behavior, perhaps even exceeding what others expect. Holiday explains, “Your potential, the absolute best you’re capable of—that’s the metric to measure yourself against […] Anyone can win. But not everyone is the best possible version of themselves” (197). Through these different angles and examples, Holiday emphasizes that only the individual in question has the insight and authority to master their own mind and achieve meaningful success the right way.
Continual Learning as a Remedy to Ego
Holiday frequently posits learning and maintaining a “student-mind” as the antidote to ego. Holiday argues that putting oneself in the position of student is an inherently humbling act and therefore helps people overcome egotistical thoughts and behaviors.
In his chapter “Become a Student,” Holiday relays how professional guitarist Kirk Hammett “insisted that he needed more instruction—that he was still a student” and sought out lessons with an experienced guitar teacher even while playing professionally with Metallica (37). Hammett was able to “endure” his teacher’s strict conditions and teaching style and continued to improve over his two-year learning period (37). Holiday emphasizes how by accepting instruction from others and deferring to their authority, people are able to “subsume” themselves and put their “ego and ambition in someone else’s hands” (38). The author posits that this dynamic is very valuable since it prevents people from trying to “fake” or “hack” their learning experience and instead requires them to put real attention and investment into their education (38).
Even without an instructor to guide them, individuals working alone can begin to overcome their egos simply by consciously dedicating themselves to acquiring new knowledge and approaching this experience with curiosity and openness. For instance, Malcolm X took advantage of his time in prison to give himself the education he had not received elsewhere. Holiday argues that Malcolm X’s new mindset required “acceptance” and “humility” (172). Holiday also asserts that embracing a student’s perspective is helpful not only at the beginning of one’s life but also throughout it. With a “student-mind,” people are able to continue learning and extend their success, rather than atrophy and lose touch with the world around them. Holiday maintains, “The second we let the ego tell us we have graduated, learning grinds to a halt […] The professional finds learning […] enjoyable; they like being challenged and humbled, and engage in education as an ongoing and endless process” (105). He refers to martial artist Frank Shamrock’s advice to “always stay a student,” noting that people’s learning “never ends” but only changes over time (105). By acknowledging that they have more to learn, people quell their ego’s desire to pretend that they know everything already, thereby creating the opportunity to further hone their craft or learn new skills, which will only further their success.
Ego and Delusion
Holiday blames the ego for producing a particularly self-sabotaging mental phenomenon: delusion. He argues that experiencing wealth and power can cause people to lose touch with reality, ruining their ability to make sound decisions. Holiday blames the ego for producing a bias that prompts people to take their power and success for granted and to perceive their status as a sign that they are inherently superior to others and therefore deserving of such a position.
One dramatic example is that of Xerxes, the Persian emperor who executed his own men when a natural disaster ruined their work and chastised inanimate objects and natural landforms that he perceived as against his conquest. Holiday argues that Xerxes’s insanity is typical of egoic rulers, writing, “Xerxes’ delusional threats are unfortunately not a historical anomaly. With success, particularly power, come some of the greatest and most dangerous delusions: entitlement, control, and paranoia” (121). Humility is therefore crucial for checking these delusions.
According to Holiday, power also impacted President Nixon, who began to lose his grip on reality while in office. The author points to Nixon’s inability to grapple with feedback and inconvenient truths, as well as his penchant for paranoia and defensiveness, as signs of his increasing delusions. He writes that listening to the Oval Office tapes are “a harrowing insight into a man who has just lost his grip […] He talks over his subordinates and rejects information and feedback that challenges what he wants to believe. He lives in a bubble in which no one can say no” (123). Instead of remaining humble and embracing Continual Learning as a Remedy to Ego, leaders such as Nixon become convinced of their own superiority, leading them to engineer their own downfalls.
Holiday argues that even ambition alone can foster egoic delusions. He points to John DeLorean as an example of someone with great ideas and vision who failed to be consistent and realistic in his execution of them. Fueled by delusion, his grand schemes quickly soured, and his car company never produced a working vehicle. Holiday explains that DeLorean’s ideas about how a company should run were based on his personal fantasy and not proven reality, resulting in “an overbearingly political, dysfunctional, and even corrupt organization that collapsed under its own weight” (127). Holiday’s cautionary tales about Xerxes, Nixon, and DeLorean demonstrate his message about the relationship between the ego and one’s ability to perceive and act on reality.
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