Emotional Intelligence 2.0

This chapter expands on the discussion of self-awareness through the concept of self-management: using awareness of one’s emotions to choose words and actions deliberately. The authors argue that strong self-management prevents “emotional hijackings” and supports adaptability, initiative, and goal achievement. They present 17 strategies, each illustrated through examples: breathing deeply to calm the nervous system, making an “Emotion vs. Reason” list to balance judgment (104), making goals public to ensure accountability, using delay tactics like counting to 10 or sleeping on decisions, learning from skilled self-managers, smiling to influence mood, and setting aside time for problem-solving. Other strategies include controlling negative self-talk, visualizing success, improving sleep hygiene, focusing on freedoms rather than limitations, staying synchronized in body language and tone, seeking unbiased third-party perspectives, learning from all interactions, scheduling mental recharges, and anticipating change.

The chapter’s evidence relies on behavioral scenarios, workplace dynamics, interpersonal conflicts, and research references to make the techniques accessible. Bradberry and Greaves deliver an actionable sequence of tools that move from immediate, in-the-moment regulation to long-term habit formation. The practical framing and step-by-step nature of the advice invite readers to visualize how they could apply each strategy in real situations, whether by calming down before a difficult conversation or preparing mentally for anticipated changes. The emphasis on physiological regulation, mental reframing, and proactive preparation aligns with contemporary understandings in psychology and neuroscience about the mind-body connection in emotional control.

While the strategies are widely adaptable, the chapter presumes that readers have enough autonomy over their time, environment, and interpersonal boundaries to implement these changes consistently. For those in settings where external demands dominate, the application may require modification. In addition, the chapter does not address how its suggestions may intersect with or even reinforce inequities in behavioral norms, such as those that demand a higher degree of perceived agreeability from women and/or people of color. Still, the lasting relevance of this chapter lies in its focus on building a reliable personal system for emotional regulation—one that equips individuals to respond with clarity, composure, and purpose under a variety of pressures.

Chapter Lessons

• Strong self-management builds on self-awareness and prevents emotional hijackings by allowing deliberate, goal-focused responses.
• Using a range of strategies, from immediate regulation techniques like deep breathing to long-term habits like anticipating change, strengthens control over emotions.
• Pairing cognitive tools, such as managing self-talk and visualizing success, with interpersonal tactics like seeking unbiased feedback enhances adaptability.
• Consistent practice of self-management skills such as physiological regulation, mental reframing, and proactive preparation creates a dependable system for staying composed and effective under pressure.

Reflection Questions

• When facing a high-pressure situation, how could techniques like deep breathing or counting to 10 help you prevent an emotional hijacking and respond more constructively?
• In preparing for upcoming changes in your work or personal life, how might creating an “Emotion vs. Reason” list or visualizing success improve your ability to adapt?