Equal Rites

The wizard Drum Billet, knowing he is about to die, travels to the mountain village of Bad Ass. He seeks the eighth son of an eighth son, a child with the innate potential for wizardry, to whom he can pass his magical staff and power. Billet finds the village blacksmith, Gordo Smith, who is himself an eighth son and whose wife is giving birth to their eighth child. Just as Billet’s life ends, the newborn is brought to the forge. He places his staff in the infant’s tiny hand, transferring his wizardly essence. Moments later, the local witch and midwife, Granny Weatherwax, reveals a critical mistake: the baby is a girl. In the afterlife, Billet’s ghost is dismayed. Granny, believing wizardry is unsuitable magic for women, tries to destroy the staff. The staff proves indestructible, so she and the blacksmith agree to hide it in the forge.

Seven years pass. The girl, named Eskarina, or Esk, shows no obvious signs of magic. One day, her father slaps her in a moment of frustration. In the forge, the hidden staff reacts, causing him to inexplicably hit his head on the doorway. Later, during a harsh winter, Esk and her two younger brothers, Cern and Gulta, are sent to check on Granny Weatherwax. They find her in her bed, seemingly dead. Esk volunteers to stay with the body while her brothers go for help. Alone and frightened by strange noises, she flees into the snowy forest, where she is cornered by a pack of wolves. The staff flies from the smithy to protect her, dispatching the wolves with violent, uncontrolled magic. Granny Weatherwax arrives, revealing she was not dead but had “Borrowed” the body of her crow, then takes Esk back to her cottage. That night, Granny attempts to burn the staff in her hearth, but Esk, asleep upstairs, screams in pain, revealing a deep magical connection between the girl and the staff.

Granny realizes Esk’s power must be controlled. She Borrows an owl’s mind and flies to the smith’s orchard, where she discovers that an apple tree is the reincarnated Drum Billet. The tree-wizard advises her to either train Esk or send her to the Unseen University. Granny convinces Gordo to let her train Esk in witchcraft, hoping to temper the wizardry. The training focuses on practical skills, herbalism, and “headology,” the psychology of being a witch.

Esk’s power manifests again when she turns her brother Gulta into a pig after he taunts her. Granny forces her to change him back. Later, Granny teaches Esk the art of Borrowing, sending one’s mind into an animal. Against Granny’s warnings, Esk seizes full control of an eagle’s body. Her human mind begins to merge with the eagle’s, and she loses her identity, flying high above the mountains for nearly two days before Granny locates the eagle with the staff.

Back at the cottage, she performs a dangerous ritual, drawing on the staff’s raw magic to separate Esk’s consciousness and return it to her body. During this experience, Esk glimpses the horrifying creatures of the Dungeon Dimensions. Later, frustrated with her training, Esk tries to light a fire with magic and unleashes a powerful fireball that melts Granny’s hearthstone. Granny concludes that witchcraft is not enough; Esk must go to the Unseen University in Ankh-Morpork.

Granny and Esk travel to the town of Ohulan Cutash, where they meet another witch, Hilta Goatfounder, who informs them the University is 500 miles away. Esk gets lost in the market, and the staff causes random magical events around her. She enters an inn and inadvertently turns the beer first to milk, then to powerful peach brandy. The innkeepers, Mr. and Mrs. Skiller, try to steal the staff, but it defends itself by feeling like a coiling snake in Mr. Skiller’s hands. Esk escapes and stows away on a wool barge belonging to the Zoon people.

On the barge, Esk is discovered by Amschat, the tribal Liar. She uses her innate perception to foil a merchant trying to cheat Amschat with fake gems. Amschat grows suspicious. Fearing he will take the staff, Esk causes it to teleport into her hand by subtly reshaping reality. She disguises it as a broom and leaves the barge, joining a caravan bound for Ankh-Morpork, where she meets a senior wizard named Treatle and his stuttering prodigy protégé, Simon.

Treatle dismisses Esk’s ambition to be a wizard, which angers her. That night, her uncontrolled magic melts a cliff face in her sleep. Granny finds her, and they fly the rest of the way to Ankh-Morpork, propelled by Esk’s power. They find the University’s main gates are magically sealed. They encounter Treatle and Simon, and Treatle mockingly invites Esk inside.

In the Great Hall, Simon demonstrates his power by creating a magical model of the Discworld. The display attracts creatures from the Dungeon Dimensions, which only Esk can see. She breaks his concentration by kicking Simon, causing him to collapse. Esk then confronts the Archchancellor, Cutangle, demanding to be admitted as a wizard. The wizards laugh at her. When she tries to perform a spell to prove her ability, her magic fails, and she flees in humiliation. Granny then manipulates the university’s housekeeper, Mrs. Whitlow, into hiring Esk as a servant.

Esk works as a cleaner, using her staff-broom to do the work while she observes classes. She watches a lecture by Simon, whose theoretical magic again thins the barrier between worlds. She encounters him again that night in the library, where creatures from the Dungeon Dimensions break through reality, causing the magical books to panic. To stop Simon’s magic from providing the creatures a gateway, the staff acts on its own, knocking him unconscious. The librarian hides Esk as wizards arrive to find Simon comatose, his mind captured by the Things. Believing the staff is evil, Esk throws it into the River Ankh.

Granny reveals herself and confronts Cutangle in a spectacular magical duel. Esk senses the Things are about to possess Simon’s body. Tapping into nearby ancient magic, she forces her way into the sealed room, but her mind is pulled from her body to follow the Things to their dimension. She finds Simon being used to create a conceptual, number-based model of the Discworld, which the Things intend to use for control.

Back in reality, Granny and Cutangle cease their duel as a storm floods the city. Realizing the staff is their only hope, they find it in the river, where its intense cold has created an ice floe. Granny berates the staff into cooperating, and they fly back. The wizards, led by Cutangle, agree to make Esk a wizard. The staff lifts from Esk’s body, lands on Simon’s, then rises into the air and unleashes a massive octarine flare as its power flows into Esk’s body.

In the Things’ dimension, the staff materializes in Esk’s hands. She has a revelation that allows Esk and Simon to return to their bodies: The ultimate power is not using magic but consciously choosing not to use it.

In the aftermath, the staff now appears to be an ordinary stick with no carvings. Esk is officially recognized as the Discworld’s first female wizard, and Granny Weatherwax considers an invitation to join the University. Esk and Simon begin developing a new form of magic, balancing the practical knowledge of witchcraft with the theoretical power of wizardry.