Equus

The stables where Alan worked on weekends are owned by Harry Dalton. Visiting Dysart, Dalton insists that Alan should be imprisoned for what he has done. He explains that the girl who worked at the stable, Jill Mason, experienced a “nervous breakdown” in the wake of the crime. She blames herself for what Alan has done, as she was the person who introduced Alan to the stables. Dalton remembers Alan as a good worker. He recalls, however, that he never quite believed Alan’s insistence that he never rode the horses. After Alan began working at the stables, he notes, there were strange signs. The horses were sweaty or sick in the morning, suggesting that they were ridden during the night. Dysart is interested in why Alan would want to ride alone at night rather than during the day with friends. Dalton dismisses this, insisting that Alan is “a loony” (54). Alan’s voice cuts across the conversation: riding at night “was sexy” (55), he says. That evening, Dysart tells the audience that he listened to Alan’s tape recording.

Alan records a tape. After he hands the recorder to the nurse, she takes it to Dysart. As he listens to the tape, Alan talks about the horse and the beach. He can remember the sweat on the neck of the horse. The horse seemed so powerful, as though it could go “any way [he] wanted” (55). At the same time, he remembers immediately noticing the bit in the horse’s mouth. Alan asked the horse whether it was hurt by the bit. The horse replied, Alan says, but he does not tell Dysart what the horse said.

Alan continues with his quasi-erotic description of the horse. His mother would never understand his perspective, he believes. For Dora, the appeal of horses is the dress and the formality of horse riding. She appreciates the upper-class tendency to dress up in jodhpurs and bowler hats when riding. To Alan, this approach is horrific. He views wearing a bowler hat to ride as “filthy” (56). Alan appreciates the freedom of cowboys. He exclaims that all cowboys must be “orphans” (56). The nurse interrupts to tell Dysart that Alan’s father, Frank, has arrived. This surprises Dysart, who tells the nurse to bring Frank into his office. Alan is in the midst of speaking fondly of cowboys. Frank’s arrival seems to anger him; he returns to bed as Dysart shuts down the tape machine.

Frank tells Dysart about a night 18 months earlier. Late in the night, Frank passed Alan’s bedroom. Inside, Alan was performing a ritual. Frank describes the ritual as Alan acts it out onstage. Alan chanted a genealogy of famous horses like “one of those lists” (57) in the Bible and then stood before the picture of the horse. As he knelt, he called out to “Equus, my only begotten son!” (58). Dysart realizes “Equus” is the entirety of the word “Ek,” which Alan has been calling out in his nightmares. Alan placed a piece of string in his mouth like a bit and flagellated himself with a wooden coat hanger. Frank blames religion for his son’s strangeness. He adds that, on the night of the blinding, Alan was out with a girl. Though Dysart asks Frank how he knows this, Frank leaves in a hurry.

Dysart talks to Alan about Jill, the girl from the stables. She introduced Alan to the stables, and Alan remembers when they first met at the appliance store where he worked. This scene is played out on the stage: In Bryon’s appliance store, angry customers shout out brand names and demand appliances. The chaos threatens to overwhelm Alan. This is when Jill enters. She wants a set of horse-shearing clippers. Alan recognizes her from the stables. Jill knows him as the boy who is “always staring into the yard” (62) at lunchtime. Jill says that she can introduce Alan to Dalton, hinting that there may be a job available on weekends. Alan accepts.

The humming sound—referred to as the Equus Noise—is heard on stage, as are the clatter of horses’ hooves. Alan stands in the middle of the stable. He find himself enraptured by this “glowing world of horses” (64). Just as he is about to sink to his knees in reverie, Jill enters with Dalton. The stable owner shows Alan a hoof-pick, the device used to clear a stone from a hoof. Jill can train Alan, he says. Jill shows Alan how she grooms the horses.

Next, Jill introduces Alan to the horse named Nugget. Alan watches with “fascination” (65) as Jill shows him how to groom Nugget’s coat. She lets Alan try, and he is mesmerized as he follows her instructions. Pleased with Alan’s progress, Jill tells him to finish grooming Nugget and then move on to the other horses. She leaves him alone in the stable. Alan touches the horse’s neck and flank. He smells the scent of the horse on his palm.

Dysart interrupts the memory to question Alan. When he asks whether stroking the horses felt good, Alan says yes and moans. He liked Jill “all right” (66), he says when Dysart asks. Dysart asks more questions about Jill, asking whether Alan would like to take her on a date. His questions become more insistent, though Alan is noncommittal. Eventually, Alan becomes enraged. He moves around the office, accusing Dysart of being a “nosey parker” (67).

Dysart apologizes to Alan. Still angry, Alan insists that it is Dysart’s turn to answer questions. Dysart accepts, so Alan launches into a series of erotically charged questions about Dysart’s wife, Margaret, and their sexual relationship. Alan mocks Dysart about his marital sex life or lack thereof. Alan becomes increasingly provocative. Eventually, Dysart snaps. He sends Alan back to his room, then turns to the audience and explains that Alan has a particularly “brilliant” (69) talent for identifying other people’s vulnerabilities. He knew about Dysart’s private life by asking people around the hospital, so he knew which comments would cause Dysart the most distress. As Dysart sits down, Hesther enters.

Dysart and Hesther talk about Dysart’s marriage. Once upon a time, Dysart admits, he and Margaret got along and “worked for each other” (70). Their relationship was sharp, efficient, and brisk, leading to a quick development but also a quick decline. Now, they live dull, passionless lives. Margaret occupies her time with knitting, making clothes for orphans, while Dysart spends his time reading about ancient Greece. Dysart pauses for a moment. He admits to Hesther that he wishes he could take someone to Greece. The country fascinates him. He wishes he knew someone who was not so instinctive. In Greece, he says, there are “a thousand local Gods” (71). He wishes he could enjoy such a spiritual place with someone, visiting all the spirits and deities. If he had a son, he fears that the boy would grow up to be like Margaret. The boy, he fears, might be “utterly worshipless” (71).

Dysart turns the conversation to Alan. He asks Hesther for guidance, wondering how he should be approaching Alan’s treatment. Hesther believes that Dysart is helping Alan experience a “normal life” (72). By now, Dysart says, he has lost any idea of what normal means. He asks Hesther what she believes is normal; she suggests the eyes of a smiling child, though admits that normal is hard to define. Hesther praises Dysart for his hard work. She leaves. Dysart is left alone in his office, reflecting on the idea of normal.

Dysart and Alan resume their sessions after the explosion of anger in the previous session. They begin with mutual apologies. Dysart suggests that they play a game named Blink. Alan should stare at the wall, Dysart says, and he should either open or close his eyes every time Dysart taps a pen. They play, and Alan begins to relax, eventually becoming hypnotized. As the hypnosis takes hold, Dysart reflects on the idea of normalcy. Just as much as the happy expression in a child’s eyes, he says, normal also includes “the dead stare in a million adults” (74). To Dysart, this seems like a God that kills and sustains in equal measure. It is an “indispensable, murderous God of Health” (74), and Dysart mocks himself as a priest for this God. Dysart is a priest of normal, he says, and he has helped many children. At the same time, his treatment has removed many of the aspects of their personalities that make them unique. Unlike a sacrifice to Zeus, Dysart says, a sacrifice to “Normal” (74) would take more than just a minute. Each sacrifice may need as much as 60 months.

The hypnosis takes hold. Dysart speaks to Alan, instructing him to answer each question. He begins with the memory of the beach, asking Alan to focus on the moment when he asked the horse whether it was hurt by the bit in its mouth. The horse said that the bit is never removed, as though it is “in chains” (76). Dysart asks about the horse, suggesting that it is like Jesus. Alan accepts this comparison, as well as Dysart’s suggestion that the horse is not named Jesus. Alan says that the name of the horse-god is Equus. Through horses, the god Equus is able to speak to Alan. Dysart would like to know about the rituals associated with the horse-god Equus. Alan describes Equus as being bound in chains as punishment for the “sins of the world” (76). Equus will save Alan, he says, and will help him ride away. Alan and Equus shall “be one” (76), just like the rider and the horse that appeared to be one being.

Dysart asks about the stables. He asks whether Dalton’s stable is a temple to Equus. Alan says it is. Dysart asks whether it was Equus who told Alan to ride the horses at night. Alan says yes. Alan tells Dysart that he secretly rode the horses every few weeks. Dysart suggests to Alan that he imagine himself in front of the door to the stables. He tells him to open the door.

Alan opens the door. The Equus Noise grows. Dysart urges the hypnotized Alan to describe the midnight ritual. Alan acts out his ritual: He approaches Nugget and places the bit in the horse’s mouth. Placing the bridle on the horse, he leads Nugget out of the stable and takes him to a patch of nettles in a field. Alan describes this spot as the “place of Ha Ha” (80). In spite of Nugget’s reluctance, Alan leads the horse to the spot in the center of the stage.

Alan removes his clothes. He takes a stick—which he refers to as his “Manbit” (81)—and places it in his mouth. Offering a lump of sugar to Nugget, which he refers to as the “Last Supper” (82), Alan mounts Nugget. He shouts “take me” (83) as he feels the horse’s coat against his naked flesh. Alan orders Equus to walk. He offers his praise for Equus “the Godslave” (83) who will take his sins. He denounces his enemies—Hoover, Philco, Jodhpur, and Gymkhana, all those who “tie rosettes on his head for their vanity” (84). Alan urges the horse to move faster, describing himself as feeling raw and stiff. He wants to be in Equus, Alan says, and he wants to be him. As the horse moves faster, Alan calls out in a mix of pain and pleasure, calling for Equus to trample his enemies. He calls out the words “one person” (85). In a final burst of sexual and religious ecstasy, Alan crumples up, twists, and falls down. Alan kisses the horse’s hoof and, with his head bent back, calls out “amen” (85).