Equus

Dysart tells Dora that she should not visit Alan anymore, as his treatment is at a critical stage. Alan is fragile, and the treatment cannot be interrupted. Dora is angry with Dysart. She insists that she is owed more sympathy; the word parent, she says, is treated like a “dirty word” (90) in psychiatric institutions. She suggests that psychiatrists always blame parents for their children’s problems. Dora insists that she and Frank took good care of Alan. They loved him, despite their occasional problems. These problems cannot explain what Alan did, she says, as “Alan is himself” (90). She blames the Devil rather than herself and Frank. To Dora, he will always be her son. Dora exits, and Dysart goes to speak to Alan.

Dysart tells Alan that he will not speak to Dora about anything that Alan said during hypnosis. Alan stares angrily at Dysart and insists that everything he said while hypnotized was a lie. He criticizes Dysart’s “bloody tricks” (91). He claims to know about the “truth drug” (92), which he believes Dysart will force him to swallow to make him tell the truth. Dysart exits the bedroom.

Dysart speaks to Hesther, telling her what happened. According to Dysart, Alan spoke about the truth drug because he wants to believe that it is real. He wishes that there was a medical treatment that would allow him to speak without inhibitions. Dysart has a plan: He explains to Hesther that he will use a placebo and tell Alan that it is the truth drug. This will allow Alan to speak freely about his repressed memories. This will help him recover, Dysart believes. Yet Dysart is not entirely convinced by his plan. He worries that he might take away Alan’s “worship” (93), since Alan worships Equus, and any cure for Alan would remove his belief in Equus. Dysart worries that this belief is the “core of [Alan’s] life” (93). Without the belief, he will just be an alienated youngster with no real attachment to society.

Hesther proposes that this treatment is worthwhile as it will reduce Alan’s pain considerably. Dysart does not agree. Whatever pain Alan experiences is something that is unique to Alan. To experience and overcome pain is an important part of growing up, Dysart says, so he does not want to take this opportunity away from Alan, who has already suffered so much. In a way, Dysart envies both the pain and the passion that Alan experiences. Dysart accuses himself of having settled for a “pallid and provincial” (95) existence. His life is free of worship, he says, and he is left to wonder what a more pagan, more primitive, more passionate life would be like instead of his comfortable but dull life. Alan experiences a passion that Dysart does not, yet Alan is the patient being treated for “insanity” (95). Dysart studies pictures of centaurs. He suspects that Alan is trying to become this kind of mythical half-man, half-horse. Hesther, however, still only sees a young person in pain. She bids Dysart farewell.

In a letter to Dysart, Alan apologizes for his earlier behavior and admits that his comments under hypnosis were “all true” (96). Dysart reads the letter to the audience and believes that he is close to a breakthrough in Alan’s treatment. He calls for the nurse and asks her if Alan is awake. Alan is likely watching the television, the nurse says. Dysart asks her to bring Alan to his office and to call his wife to explain that he will not be home until late. The nurse passes the message to Alan, who approaches Dysart’s office.

After thanking Alan for writing the letter, Dysart invites Alan to sit down for an impromptu session as it is “better than going to sleep” (98). Surprised, Alan agrees to trust Dysart. In turn, Dysart admits to Alan that many of his actions as a psychiatrist involve some kind of trickery or deception. Ultimately, however, his aim is to help his patients. Dysart offers Alan a drug which will make him speak the truth. Alan is reluctant, but Dysart assures him that the pill can help to cure the nightmares. Hesitantly, Alan takes the pill. He will not feel any different, Dysart says, so he should just relax and speak whatever comes to his mind.

Dysart begins to talk about his own life. He is tired of his job, and he would like to visit the sea “where the Gods used to go to bathe” (100) before they died. Alan disputes the suggestion that gods can die. Dysart insists that it is possible. Alan asks Dysart how he will manage to be such a “nosey parker” (100) without his hospital. Dysart says that he will not care. He does not enjoy being a psychiatrist, he explains, and he only continues to work because Alan is “unhappy” (100). Dysart is also unhappy, Alan points out. This shocks Dysart. Alan is also surprised by his comment. He did not expect to speak his mind so frankly. This, Dysart suggests, shows that the truth drug is taking effect.

Alan becomes excited by the prospect of speaking freely. He invites Dysart to ask him more questions. Dysart asks about Jill, but Alan seems reluctant to speak. Dysart asks Alan to describe Jill, but Alan insists that he does not remember her. Dysart approaches Alan. Firmly, he tells Alan that he must answer. He must tell—and even show—Dysart everything about Jill. After reassuring Alan that he will help, Dysart asks about Jill’s home. After a brief moment, Alan begins to speak. Jill lives near Dalton’s stables, he says. Jill enters the stage as Alan shares his memory.

Jill seems “open and lightly provocative” (102). Speaking to Alan, she discusses her father leaving her mother. After he left, they had no money. Her mother was forced to support the family on her own. Now, Jill’s mother hates men, so Jill is forbidden from taking boys home with her. Alan explains to Dysart that he frequently felt that Jill was looking at him. She praised his “super” (102) eyes, he says, and he admired her eyes. Jill sits beside Alan, who becomes visibly flustered. Alan moves away from Jill. She speaks about the ways girls are attracted to boys. She speaks about boys’ “bottoms” (103), claiming that most girls find them attractive, but she is more interested in boys’ eyes. She asks Alan if he is interested in eyes or only in horses’ eyes. She has seen him staring into Nugget’s eyes, she says, and Alan becomes defensive. He insists that Nugget must have had something in his eye.

Jill loves horses’ eyes, she tells Alan. When she asks whether he finds their eyes “sexy” (103), Alan jumps away from her. Jill continues to speak. Many girls are drawn to horses, she says, and it is a normal part of many girls’ lives. She recalls petting or kissing horses, suggesting that it was “just a substitute” (103) for a different kind of affection. Alan explains to Dysart that Jill would often flirt with him in this manner. She enjoyed provoking him, which culminated on one evening in particular. Dysart urges Alan to talk about what happened that night. It was a Saturday, Alan remembers, and Jill asked him to take her to a “skinflick” (104). Alan was hesitant. He did not want to take Jill to watch pornography, but she convinced him. In the middle of his recollection, however, Alan steps away from the stage. He feels tired and needs to sleep. Dysart insists that Alan must continue. Alan becomes angry. The film was “bloody awful” (104), he says. The actors on the stage assemble as though they are in a movie theater.