Equus

Outside the theater, Alan, Jill, and Frank are now standing at a bus stop. Alan and Jill fumble around for an explanation. Jill claims that it was her idea, while Alan insists that he has never been to such a place before. Frank is silent. Eventually, he states that he visits the theater for his work. He has business with the theater regarding posters, he says. Frank claims that he had no idea that the theater showed pornography. When the bus pulls up, Frank tells his son to say goodbye to Jill. Alan wants to walk her home and Frank reluctantly agrees. Frank exits, leaving behind Jill and Alan. A shaken Alan tells Dysart that he felt as though “a hole had been drilled” (108) in his stomach.

As Alan walks around the stage, he describes the expression on his father’s face as Frank sat on the bus. To Alan, Frank seemed “scared” (109), which put Alan in mind of the many times his father called for him to be disciplined. The discipline was the only way to better Alan’s character, Frank said. Jill chases after Alan. She wants to know what he is thinking about. When he says that he is thinking about nothing, she laughs. The situation is terrible, she says, but also “very funny” (109). Now, he and his father have something in common, she jokes. In this moment, Alan says to Dysart, he stopped thinking about older men as “just Dads” (110). They were people with sexual urges. To Jill, he dismissed his father as a “poor old sod” (110). Jill agreed. Frank needed to go to pornography show, he suggests, because Dora and Frank did not have a sexual relationship.

Alan came to pity his father. Frank has his own desires and his own secrets, Alan realized, so they have something in common. Alan wants to end the therapy session. Dysart continues to ask questions, asking Alan whether—in that moment—he was “happy” (111). Alan admits that he was. He felt freed by his realization about his father. In that moment, Jill was holding his hand. He found her eyes alluring. As Dysart presses him, he admits that he felt drawn to her body. Jill kissed Alan and whispered in his ear that she knew where they could go to have sex. She ran away; Alan realized that she was going to the stables.

The chorus issues a “warning hum” (113). Alan seems horrified, but Jill urges him to go into the stables with her. They cannot go to her house because her mother does not like her bringing boys home. Alan is very uncomfortable but insists that this is because they are next to the horses. Jill says that they can close the barn door so that they will not see the horses.

Alan tells Jill to close the stable door. Dysart asks Alan to describe the stable. Alan wanders around the stage, remembering the details of the interior. When he comes across a hoof-pick, he briefly inspects it before “hastily” (115) dropping it to the ground. As he talks, six horses can be seen upstage. Dysart tells him to continue with the memory.

Sitting beside one another, Alan and Jill kiss. Alan is interrupted by the sound of “faint trampling” (115). Jill ignores Alan’s unease. Behind them, the horses stamp their hooves. Alan is distracted, but Jill suggests that they undress. Alan is silent, so Jill begins to remove her clothes. Alan mirrors her until they are both naked. They embrace and then lay down. Just as they are about to have sex, however, the Equus Sound is heard. Alan freezes. He stares straight ahead. Alan tells Dysart that he “put it in her” (117), but Dysart seems unsure whether Alan was capable of sex in this moment. He asks for more detail and insists that Alan tell the truth. Alan erupts with a scream, then falls to the floor. He could not have sex, he admits, because “He was in the way” (117). Whenever Alan touched Jill, he says, he felt Equus. He could not touch Jill. When Jill asked him what was wrong, Alan crouched down in the corner. She tried to reassure him, but Alan angrily told her to leave. He threatened her by brandishing the hoof-pick. Jill tried to soothe Alan, but he told her again to go away. As she dressed, Alan warned her not to tell anyone what happened. Jill promised that she wouldn’t. She tried to say goodnight to him, but he hissed at her. Jill ran away in fear.

Alan is alone and naked in the stable. He can hear the voice of Equus making fun of him, so he begs Equus for forgiveness. He promises that he will “never do it again” (120). Dysart wants to know how Equus responded. Recalling Equus’s words, Alan whispers “I see you. I see you. Always! Everywhere! Forever!” (121). Then, Dysart begins to speak with the voice of Equus. He warns that, if Alan tries to have sex with anyone, he will see; Alan will see Equus, the voice warns, and he will “FAIL” (121). Feeling scared and ashamed, Alan crawls into a ball as he is surrounded by the horses. The Equus Noise grows. Alan calls out in fear. Equus sees him with unclosing white eyes, he says. Alan gathers himself for a moment. Then, with a quiet reassurance, he tells Equus “no more” (121). He takes the hoof-pick in his hand. Walking to Nugget, he strokes the horse’s muzzle. He stabs the hoof-pick into Nugget’s eyes. The theater fills with screams and stomping hooves. Alan moves between the horses, blinding each of them. The horses charge blindly around the stable. Alan runs with them, trying to avoid their pained panic. Then, the horses plunge into the darkness. The Equus Noise ceases. Alan drops to the ground. He fumbles at his own eyes, begging Equus to kill him.

Dysart consoles Alan by placing a blanket around him. He tries to comfort Alan as he lays Alan down on the bed. The worst is over, he says, and Alan will now recover. There will be no more nightmares, and there is no more Equus. Alan falls asleep. Dysart steps toward the center of the stage, admitting to the audience that he is lying to Alan. Equus may never leave Alan, he says, and if he does, then it will be with Alan’s “intestines in his teeth” (123). If Alan knew better, Dysart says, then he would run away from the hospital.

Hesther speaks up. Alan is in pain, she says, and Dysart should help him. Dysart responds with an angry outburst. His goal could be to make Alan “a caring citizen—a worshipper of abstract and unifying God” (124). But he fears that the real outcome will be to turn Alan into a “ghost” (124). Dysart paces up and down, speaking to the audience. Healing Alan is possible; he could make it so that Alan can return to a world where animals are driven to extinction or forced into servitude or tied up in the darkness. The world believes that such treatment is treating animals appropriately. To return to such a world, however, would be to sentence Alan to a passionless life.

Dysart turns to the sleeping Alan. The boy may never gallop again, he says, but he will be “without pain” (125). Dysart admits to the audience that he is still haunted by Equus’s voice. He demands an explanation for Equus, but relents, knowing that he has no idea what the purpose of his life is. Stunned by the irrational nature of humanity and his own work, Dysart suggests that he is standing in the dark, striking at people’s heads “with a pick in [his] hand” (125). He sits on a bench to think. He needs something to guide him through the dark, he believes. He feels the “sharp chain” (125) like a bit in his mouth; he knows that he will not be able to free himself of it. Dysart stares out into the dark as the play ends.