43 pages • 1-hour read
Etched In Sand: A True Story of Five Siblings Who Survived an Unspeakable Childhood on Long Island
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Chapter 12-EpilogueChapter Summaries & Analyses
Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of mental illness, child abuse, child sexual abuse, graphic violence, cursing, emotional abuse, and death.
Chapter 12 Summary: “A Child At Any Age: Winter 1998 to 2003”
Regina arrives at Julia’s house, and memories suddenly flood back into her mind. She is greeted warmly but feels awkward at first, until Julia confirms that she did indeed live there for a year. Julia brings clarity to many of Regina’s questions, explaining that Cookie initially used her daycare service but one day just didn’t come back. A year went by, and when Julia and her husband contacted social services for food stamp money, they took the children instead. Julia’s husband, who is now deceased, was Paul’s (Regina’s father) brother. He wanted to make things right with the girls after they were taken, and Julia wrote to Regina in the hopes of doing just that. Before leaving, Regina writes down Paul’s phone number, in case she ever decides to contact him again.
Cookie is diagnosed with cancer, and Regina reluctantly goes to see her one last time. Cookie says nothing to her, and Regina leaves without the satisfaction of seeing her mother admit her mistakes. Cookie dies several weeks later, and Regina’s primary emotion is relief. Camille and Regina go for a walk at the beach they used to frequent as kids and reflect on Cookie’s death. Camille notes that at least Cookie gave them each other, and Regina thinks about how each of her siblings had to rewrite their own life. Rosie still keeps her distance, writing vague letters and nothing more.
Regina decides to pursue a DNA test from Paul to confirm him as her father, but he adamantly refuses and threatens to sue for harassment. Regina in turn opens a lawsuit of her own, hoping to sue him for a paternity test, though such a thing is typically only done for minors. Julia agrees to act as a witness to Paul and Cookie’s relationship, and Regina is confident that she can win. Paul attempts to refuse the lawsuit, claiming that she has no grounds to ask for a paternity test as an adult and that she is causing him distress by doing so. The court rules in Regina’s favor, but Paul appeals, and Regina’s case is dismissed by the next judge, who worries about its implications, so Regina appeals again but has to wait a year. On September 11th, 2001, Regina is at work when she hears of the terror attacks. She spends several days grieving but then turns her attention back to her case. Months later, the court finally rules in Regina’s favor, but Paul makes yet another appeal, this time to the Supreme Court of the state. The court rules in Regina’s favor again, and a DNA test is ordered. Paul turns out to be Regina’s father, and she finally has the closure and the confirmation she always wanted.
Chapter 13 Summary: “A Beacon of Light: 2004-2012”
Regina gets a new birth certificate with her father’s name on it as a gift to herself at Christmas, and has it framed. Camille encourages Regina to move back to Suffolk County. Returning to the scene of her traumatic childhood seems unimaginable to Regina at first, but she wants to be present for Camille’s children growing up, and she considers how Long Island was always her home. She finds a place to live in the hamlet of New Suffolk. Around the same time, Rosie comes back into the other siblings’ lives, finally feeling ready to reconnect and be a family again. The reunion is emotional and warm, and it is also when Regina announces her plans to run for state Senate. Though she is deemed ineligible because of time spent living in Pennsylvania, she finds a better opportunity when she is hired as the chief deputy executive for Suffolk County, which allows her to help kids in foster care and other youth without homes. When Camille has a massive stroke, followed by three more, it sends panic through the family, but she somehow manages to recover slowly. The family reunites again when Camille’s son gets married, and they celebrate their survival and their togetherness after everything.
Epilogue Summary
During Hurricane Sandy, Regina works with the emergency management unit to help those affected and ensure there are ways for them to receive food, shelter, and supplies. Storm surge and extended power outages have caused devastation for many people. A commission is created to prevent future outages from being as severe, and Regina is appointed as its executive director.
During the writing of the memoir, Camille is still recovering from her strokes, but the family has managed to stay connected, and all five siblings were together for Cherie’s 50th birthday. Regina finds her own happiness through her relationship, her family, and her work, including her work in advocating for foster children to find homes. She ends with a strong message about the importance of believing in a better future, no matter how far off or difficult it may seem.
Chapter 12-Epilogue Analysis
The final chapters of the memoir depict Regina’s journey toward closure, reconciliation, and the establishment of a stable, purposeful life, re-emphasizing the theme of Finding Purpose in Suffering. Setting plays a crucial role in showcasing both contrast and growth. Camille encourages Regina to move back to Suffolk County, which initially feels unimaginable to her, but she reflects on how Long Island has always been home and wants to be present for Camille’s children as they grow up. This return to familiar physical and emotional landscapes mirrors Regina’s process of reclaiming her identity and history. The “Happy House,” where Julia and her late husband cared for the girls for a year, also provides clarity and emotional grounding, as Regina finally uncovers truths about her father, Paul, and her early childhood. By digging up this forgotten history, Regina reclaims control over the narrative of her life. The setting of Hurricane Sandy’s destruction further parallels Regina’s own childhood trauma, with the aftermath symbolizing both loss and the opportunity for reconstruction.
Regina’s character arc reaches its conclusion in these chapters: She is now an adult who has found both professional and personal fulfillment in working to offer others the support she lacked in her own childhood, Finding Purpose in Suffering. She reconnects with Rosie, builds a supportive relationship with Todd, and continues her advocacy for foster children, emphasizing the importance of “forever homes” (301) for children often left behind. She also gains closure regarding her father through the resolution of a lengthy paternity case. Though often encouraged to give up on this goal, she persists because knowing the sources of her childhood trauma is a way of reclaiming the narrative of her life. Though Cookie refuses to offer any apology for or even acknowledgment of her failures as a mother, Camille finds closure in noting that at least Cookie gave them each other. Regina’s growth is defined by her ability to translate her past trauma into empathy, action, and meaningful relationships. The paternity case unfolds over years, paralleling Regina’s emotional journey with setbacks, delays, and eventual release.
The Jesus figurines that Regina has carried throughout her life without knowing where they came from are traced back to the “Happy House,” symbolizing safety, care, and Resilience Through Family Bonds. Returning to the beach brings back memories of childhood days of writing names in the sand, symbolizing the work each sibling does in rewriting their own lives: “The lives Cookie gave us were only etched in sand; able to be erased and written all over again…better, with meaning. We’ve all made our stories into what we wanted for ourselves” (267). This growth is an example of how Ending the Cycle of Abuse matters to each sibling. Calcaterra employs a circular narrative structure, beginning and ending on Long Island and at the beach, emphasizing emotional and physical return to what she knows. These chapters bring the memoir to an emotional and narrative closure, with Regina established as a resilient, self-determined adult.
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