Etched In Sand: A True Story of Five Siblings Who Survived an Unspeakable Childhood on Long Island

When Regina is in sixth grade, temperatures soar, and Cookie moves the family again. She and the kids arrive unannounced at the home of her parents, whom her kids have never met. Her father immediately tells her to leave, and her mother is equally unwelcoming. They let the family stay long enough to use the bathroom, and Regina can tell that Cookie’s father is an aggressive man. After leaving, Cookie drives around town telling everyone that her parents refuse to look after their grandchildren, and receiving various charity in response. For the next few months, they live in the car and eat scraps given to them by various local food suppliers. Cookie finds work at a deli, but holding a job makes her even more angry and stressed, and she takes it out on the children physically and emotionally. At one point, she throws hot grease on Regina and pushes Camille down the stairs, causing her to need a neck brace.

Regina starts working at the deli to earn money for herself and her siblings (which Cookie often takes if she can). At one point, a man walks into the deli, looks at Regina, and leaves. Cookie tells her that the man was her father, Paul Accerbi, and Regina remembers hearing his name when Cookie would beat her and tell her that Paul was the most hurtful man, thus Regina would supposedly hurt her, too. When Cookie is arrested for drunk driving and her record revealed, the landlord (who is also her boss) tells her to leave, and the children find themselves sleeping in the car again. Eventually, Cookie meets a farmer named Garcia who lets the kids sleep in a trailer on his property, but the arrangement soon ends, and the family moves into a shelter, and later into a duplex. There, Cookie comes home to find Regina’s friends visiting and flies into a rage, tying Regina up in the closet and leaving her there through the night. To cope with the panic of the experience, Regina thinks back to her days on the beach with her siblings. In the middle of Regina’s eighth-grade year, the family moves yet again.

The memoir returns to Regina at age 14, living in foster care and debating whether to sign the affidavit for emancipation. After reflecting on her experiences during her childhood, she decides she is ready to sign. When Camille announces her plan to leave the foster home and start her own life, Regina asks her not to go, but Camille insists that she already raised herself and is done following someone else’s rules. She plans to stay through the winter and leave in spring. In the meantime, both Regina and Camille find various ways to earn money, like cleaning up lawns and working in small shops, so that they can better prepare for independence.

When Christmas arrives, they use some of their earnings to buy presents for Norman and Rosie, but they never get a chance to see them. Instead, Cookie kidnaps the two youngest children after they tell her that their foster mother hits them. Despite Camille’s protests, the state allows Cookie to keep her two youngest children. The social worker assures her that Regina’s case will be enough to end custody, but Regina and Camille think Cookie might disappear with the kids before then.

When Cookie is arrested again and then bailed out by Cherie, Regina and Camille attempt to make amends with Cookie so they can look out for Norman and Rosie. Cookie fully rejects them, seeing through their facade. When she fails to show up for the emancipation hearing, Regina wins by default but is told that her younger siblings will still be staying with Cookie. She and her sisters can’t be happy knowing their younger siblings are still in danger, but Regina makes the decision to stay with her current foster family permanently. Cookie takes the kids to Idaho, where they live on a farm with a man named Clyde. When Regina calls them, she finds out that they are in fact being abused, and Cookie even accuses Rosie of making “advances” toward Clyde. Regina calls her social worker multiple times, but since they are in another state, there is nothing the social worker can do.

From 10th to 12th grade, Regina watches her father’s name in the phonebook, waiting until she turns 18 to contact him. Her teachers rally to support her in graduating and going to university, and she makes friends, begins dating, and gets a job at a home store. When Regina notices that her father is no longer listed in the phone book, she writes a letter to his listed relatives, enclosing a letter for him and asking them to pass it along. The letter details her successes in recent years, living with a foster family who truly cares about her, and being away from Cookie. It also mentions her hope to have a relationship with her father. Addie reacts with hurt when she finds out, questioning why Regina would seek out her father when she is already surrounded by love and support. When Regina’s father finally calls, it is only to tell Regina that she is lying and has “upset” his family. He rejects being her father and claims to hardly have known her mother, and Regina realizes she should never have hoped for more from him. When Regina graduates high school, Cookie surprisingly calls to congratulate her, and Regina uses the chance to ask if she can come to Idaho to visit. She hopes to see her siblings and make sure they’re okay. Cookie agrees to have her.

Rosie is 12 now and growing up, and Norman is 15. Regina leaves knowing she is leaving Rosie in a difficult situation, but she feels hopeful when she is accepted into university. She tries to take care of Rosie from afar by sending her letters and money, but finds it overwhelming, and Cherie eventually steps in to help.