43 pages • 1-hour read
Etched In Sand: A True Story of Five Siblings Who Survived an Unspeakable Childhood on Long Island
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Chapters 9-11Chapter Summaries & Analyses
Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of mental illness, child abuse, child sexual abuse, graphic violence, cursing, emotional abuse, and death.
Chapter 9 Summary: “Out of Idaho: Fall 1984 to Spring 1986”
Both Camille and Regina begin to prove all their naysayers wrong when Camille starts a family and has a son, Frankie, and Regina is accepted into university. Both begin to move on with their lives and discover a true sense of confidence and purpose. After Regina’s freshman year, she decides to transfer to a school in New York. When Addie hears this, she tells Regina she won’t be welcome back, and Regina wonders if Addie was just taking care of her for the money. When Regina leaves, however, Addie tells her she loves her for the first time, confirming that Addie really does care.
Regina starts her second year with her friend Sheryl. She takes an international politics class with a professor named Mr. Brownstein. The class is tough, and Regina feels lost at first, but as she begins making connections between policy and her own life, she comes to understand its importance. Meanwhile, Rosie’s home life is worsening, and Regina feels powerless to help. At one point, Cherie goes to check on Rosie and finds her upset after hurting a cow, which she did after Cookie hurt her. With no one else willing to help, Cherie decides to go back to Idaho again and take Rosie back to New York without Cookie’s knowledge.
The plan is successful, and Rosie and Cherie arrive in New York together, with Cherie planning to have Rosie live with her. This plan only succeeds for a few days, as Cookie’s brother soon starts calling and showing up. Eventually, he finds Regina and Rosie at the mall. They attempt to run, but when Cookie’s brother threatens to call the police, Regina realizes that she is powerless to help and that she and all of her siblings can ultimately only help themselves. The girls take Rosie to their uncle’s house, and he insults the girls the same way Cookie used to. The next morning, they insist on driving Rosie to the airport themselves, and Rosie returns the coat that they bought for her. Through tears, they say goodbye once again.
Chapter 10 Summary: “Aging Out: Spring 1986 to Summer 1988”
Regina calls Rosie and finds out that Cookie has been calmer than normal, which puts Regina at ease. Regina moves into an apartment and lives on her own for the first time. She starts to feel certain that her childhood of suffering is bound to amount to something, but she isn’t sure what yet. When she gets an internship at the state senate and excels at it, it becomes clear that a career in politics is on the horizon. She finishes a degree in political science and then lives with Addie for a couple of months. When Regina’s grandma dies of cancer, Cookie and Norman move to take care of Cookie’s father, and she and Regina have a moment to talk. When Cookie congratulates Regina on graduating, crediting her own parenting for Regina’s success, Regina tells Cookie she had no hand in raising her children, but that they instead raised themselves. She asks Cookie what her father did to make Cookie hate her, and Cookie answers that he left when he found out she was pregnant, leaving her “stuck” with Regina.
Chapter 11 Summary: “The Happy House: Summer 1988 to January 1998”
Regina begins looking for work and eventually succeeds in being hired for the Eastern Paralyzed Veterans Association as an advocate. She works for them for four years, developing a sense of purpose and a place in the political sphere. Regina considers the possibility of law school and takes an accelerated program that allows her to apply. She is accepted and given an opportunity to work as the director of Intergovernmental Affairs alongside her law schooling.
Regina calls her father once more, but he rejects her again; she also tries to mend her relationship with Rosie, who harbors resentment for what she sees as abandonment. At the same time, Regina is asked to create task forces for the city, such as an Immigration Task Force, and work with congresswoman Geraldine Ferraro to create a task force comprised of the leaders of New York’s various ethnic communities. Ferraro also asks Regina to help her with a story she’s writing about Italian immigration to the US. Eventually, Regina wants more out of her career and decides to look for work practicing law.
Around the same time, Regina gets a call from Addie, who received a letter from an “Aunt Julia” who shares the same last name as Regina’s father. The letter asks Regina to visit and expresses pride in Regina’s success in her life. Regina calls Camille, confused about who Aunt Julia is, and Camille wonders if Julia and her husband were the people that the girls stayed with when they were very young. Camille remembers a “Happy House” filled with love and fond memories, and believes it may have been Julia’s house. Regina decides to visit Julia and find out more.
Chapters 9-11 Analysis
These chapters depict a period of both growth and confrontation for Regina and her siblings, as they continue to reconcile their traumatic pasts with their emerging independence. Their development is central, particularly for Regina, who comes to the hard realization that she and her siblings must ultimately take responsibility for their own lives: “We’ve had to put our faith in the people who treat us coldly […] but in the end, no one can really save us from our own hard reality. Every single one of us has had to climb out of our childhood and help ourselves” (215). Regina’s sense of purpose comes to full fruition as she begins to see meaning in her years of suffering, transforming her experiences into a flourishing career and emphasizing the memoir’s theme of Finding Purpose in Suffering. She works for the Eastern Paralyzed Veterans Association as an advocate, attends law school, and assumes the role of director of Intergovernmental Relations, gradually discovering that politics is her true calling. Unlike her siblings, who largely avoid revisiting the past, Regina continues to investigate her origins, pursuing contact with her father, visiting Aunt Julia, and documenting her story in a memoir.
The plot arc emphasizes both triumph over adversity and ongoing tension in Regina’s life. Camille and Regina prove naysayers wrong: Camille builds a stable family, and Regina successfully navigates higher education and professional life. At the same time, the narrative also grapples with systemic failures and personal limitations. When Regina considers transferring universities, Addie warns that she will not be welcome back, leading Regina to question whether her foster parents ever cared beyond financial support. Meanwhile, she faces the painful reality of sending Rosie back to Cookie, painfully aware of her sister’s vulnerability within a system that failed them: “How could I promise her that the same county system that deserted her five years ago would suddenly decide to help her?” (215). Regina’s skepticism of the system represents her direct experience with the Failures of the Child Welfare System. Armed with the knowledge of how these failures have directly affected her and her siblings, Regina begins her career determined to reform the system.
New beginnings represent a gradual shift from a painful existence to one of flourishing and joy. Camille’s newborn son represents a fresh start and the promise of protection: “When I look up at Camille, we both have tears in our eyes. It’s our silent promise that no child we love will ever experience the pain that we did…and that Cookie will never come near this baby” (194). Here, Calcaterra directly articulates the time of Ending the Cycle of Abuse. By promising to give this child a better childhood than they had, Regina and Camille take an important step toward healing. These chapters indicate a personal transformation for Regina, showing her growing independence, moral clarity, and commitment to transforming past trauma into purpose.
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