Everything I Never Told You

Encourage readers to connect the book’s themes and characters with their personal experiences.

1. How might you explain Marilyn and Nath’s instinct to blame Jack for Lydia’s death? When something bad happens to you, do you tend to blame yourself, or do you try to find external causes for what happened? 

2. What is the novel’s position on bias and the way it informs judgment and decision-making? Do you think any person can be totally free of bias?

3. Marilyn and James both project their failed expectations for themselves onto Lydia, hoping that she can accomplish what they couldn’t when they were young. Have you ever felt that you were being forced to live someone else’s dreams? How did that make you feel, and how did you follow through with that projection?

4. Lydia’s fatal swim is meant to symbolize her desire for a new perspective on life: one that isn’t tethered to her family’s expectations for her. Have you ever experienced a similar attempt to define yourself beyond the judgments of your family or your inner circle?

Examine the book’s relevance to societal issues, historical events, or cultural themes.

1. Discuss the ways in which the novel frames the topic of race. How does the novel frame Lydia’s Chinese American identity against her ability to “pass” as white? What privileges does this aspect of her physical appearance grant her over her siblings, including the privileges that she receives from within the family? What does this aspect of the novel suggest about Ng’s views on race?

2. The novel delivers a sharp critique of cultural stereotypes. How does this dynamic manifest outside the Lee family? Which characters consciously or unconsciously impose stereotypes on other characters, and how do these narrative patterns develop the novel’s critique?

Dive into the book’s structure, characters, themes, and symbolism.

1. Discuss the novel’s setting of Middlewood, Ohio. How does this setting allow Ng develop the novel’s primary themes? Make sure to discuss the supporting characters within the Middlewood community.

2. Who is the dominant parent in the Lee family? Discuss the dynamics between James and Marilyn by analyzing their characterization, their actions, and their behavior towards their children. Which of the two parents influences the other’s behavior most strongly? How does this dynamic drive the novel’s larger themes?

3. Which aspects of Jack’s characterization lean into common stereotypes? Make sure to list concrete character details (e.g., body features, clothing, mannerisms, and expressions) and relate them to other cultural examples that those details are deliberately attempting to invoke.

4. What does the character of Louisa represent in the novel? Given her ethnic background, do you feel that she is a developed character, or does she exist to represent a certain ideal? Elaborate on your answer.