Evidence of the Affair

“I checked my wife’s nightstand and her car, as well as her jewelry box and the back of her dresser drawers. I even went looking through the Hanukkah decorations.”

David’s account of searching the house for Ken’s love letters to Janet illustrates The Destabilizing Impact of Infidelity, transforming the home (traditionally associated with intimacy and safety) into a site of paranoia and loss. David’s desperate search through logical hiding places such as Janet’s nightstand and car, as well as the unlikely location of a box of Hanukkah decorations, conveys the all-consuming nature of his suspicion. David’s rifling of Janet’s personal belongings demonstrates how deceit corrodes the foundations of intimate relationships. His reference to the Hanukkah decorations also evokes the joy of family memories and celebrations tainted by betrayal.

“What you see is what you get with Ken, or so I thought. He is methodical and logical and conscientious. I mean we are talking about a dermatologist who eats a turkey sandwich every day and only listens to old Simon & Garfunkel and Mick Riva albums. I once put on a David Bowie record, and he said it sounded like ‘screeching cats crying for more drugs.’”

Carrie’s detailed account of Ken’s traits and routines paints him as predictable to the point of being dull. His unchanging music taste (Simon & Garfunkel and Mick Riva) and description of Bowie’s music as “screeching cats crying for more drugs” underscores his extreme conservatism and resistance to novelty. The contrast between Ken’s outward dependability and his hidden capacity for deception is ironic, making his infidelity more shocking. His character underscores how other people are essentially unknowable, even within the intimacy of marriage.

“I heard Simon & Garfunkel the other day at the bank and thought of you dancing in your bathrobe. I started to laugh right there in line. My kids thought I was nuts. You make me a little crazy, I think.”

Reid deepens the irony surrounding Ken’s musical taste as Janet associates Simon & Garfunkel with the memory of him dancing in his bathrobe. The image conveys a playful, carefree aspect to Ken’s nature that Carrie is unaware of. Janet’s admission, “You make me a little crazy,” acknowledges both the intoxicating pull of the affair and the loss of rational control it brings. The reference to her children strikes a jarring note, showing how her infidelity is likely to hurt her family.

“With you, anything is possible. At home, I’m always thinking about my children or whether my family can afford something or how my in-laws will feel. There are so many things that have to be done in a day, and none of them are for me, none of them are what I want. But as I go about all of it now, I think of you. I think of the woman I am when I’m alone with you. With you, I am enjoying myself. I am doing what I want. I am living in our moments together, with no worries.”

Janet’s letter to Ken shows how the affair functions as an escape from her everyday routine and as a reclamation of self. Her catalog of responsibilities conveys a life defined by service to others, with little room for personal fulfillment. The structural repetition of “none of them” hammers home the self-denial of domestic life. Meanwhile, the later repetition of “I” and “with you” emphasizes the contrast between her home life and the sense of freedom she experiences with her lover. Janet presents the affair as a sanctuary where she can be herself, untroubled by responsibility.

“I feel unending fury at the idea of her sharing what she has shared with your husband. When I think about the two of them together, it burns inside me so hard that I might collapse.”

David captures The Destabilizing Impact of Infidelity in this raw description of his anger and pain. The phrases “unending fury” and “burns inside me so hard that I might collapse” use hyperbole to exaggerate the intensity of emotion and highlight the extremity of his heartbreak. David’s reference to what Janet “has shared” with Ken highlights how his wife has violated the intimate bonds that he believed were sacred to their marriage.

“You are the only person who understands exactly what I am going through. And I hope I can be that same thing for you.”

Carrie conveys the rare form of understanding she and David share as individuals who have suffered the same emotional injury. The symmetry of the phrases “You are the only person” and “I hope I can be that same thing for you” reinforces reciprocity, suggesting a relationship built on equality and mirrored support. The passage hints at the comfort both characters discover through The Cathartic Power of Honest Communication.

“I thought of five years from now when my oldest son, Michael, will be graduating high school. I imagined Janet and me in the audience with our three younger sons, Sam, Andy, and Brian. I thought of the five of us clapping as Michael crossed the stage. And I thought of looking at Janet with full trust and happiness.”

As a way of coping with his wife’s affair, David envisions a happier future. The mental image of a family milestone (his eldest son’s graduation) significantly includes all family members together, celebrating as one. The vision reflects David’s yearning for harmony and restored trust, highlighting not just what he wants, but what has been jeopardized by infidelity.

“My parents weren’t altogether excited about the match. They thought I should stay single a bit longer, try to make my way in the world alone. My mother has always told me that I have more opportunities, as a woman of my generation, than she ever had. She made it seem like I had an obligation to use them how she would have.”

The advice of Carrie’s mother reflects the shift toward greater possibilities for women in the 1970s. Unlike her mother, Carrie has more opportunities for a career and financial independence. However, Carrie’s feeling that she has “an obligation to use them” reveals the weight of parental and societal expectations. Her mother’s ambitions for her feel just as restrictive as conforming to the more traditional role of wife and mother.

“I thought by my midthirties I’d have some financial security. But I am a high school biology teacher who has also taken on coaching girls’ field hockey and basketball as of late to earn more money. I know almost nothing about field hockey or basketball.”

David reflects on the gap between what he imagined his adult life would look like and the reality of everyday financial struggles. His honesty and humility are highlighted by the self-deprecating admission that he knows “almost nothing” about the sports he is coaching. David’s revelation of his perceived shortcomings to Carrie adds to his sympathetic characterization.

“Janet keeps offering to get a job, and I can see the look in her eye when she offers it. Complete and total disappointment. It’s clear she feels reduced to it because I can’t provide.”

David illustrates how deeply his sense of masculinity and identity is bound up in his role as provider for his family. The “complete and total disappointment” he sees in Janet’s eyes might be real or imagined. However, David interprets Janet’s offer to get a job as a judgment of his failure and a “reduction” of his wife’s status. His comments demonstrate how gendered societal roles place pressure on both women and men.

“I know that wanting children has been a trial in your marriage. I can’t begin to imagine the pain that must cause. The truth is that having children has been a trial in mine. I stop desiring my wife quite the same after she got pregnant with Andy and Brian. The first two were planned, but the twins weren’t. They were a downright shock. I was already exhausted and penny pinching with the first two.”

In describing the strains of parenthood, David highlights the paradox that what one person longs for can be the very thing that burdens another. He emphasizes how having an abundance of children is not just an emotional trial but also a practical one that erodes energy and romance. By contrasting Carrie’s pain over her childlessness with his antithetical situation, David flips ingrained assumptions about family and fulfillment. His admission demonstrates how honest communication within a friendship can provide alternative perspectives and comfort.

“I am afraid that my husband is going to leave me for your wife and that I will be left with nothing. Thirty and single and childless without even so much as a secretary position on my resumé. I’ll be a joke.”

Carrie’s admission of her deepest fears captures not only the pain caused by infidelity but also the erasure of identity and worth. She defines herself through the things she does not have (a child, a job, and potentially a husband), illustrating the measures of “success” for women in 1970s society. Carrie’s assertion that she will “be a joke” also underlines the sense of humiliation associated with being cheated on.

“When I think about what your wife must be like, I picture her as everything that I am not. Four children, twins by accident! She must be so womanly, so beautiful, so perfect.”

Carrie projects an image of David’s wife as possessing every attribute she believes she lacks. The description conveys not a real woman but an idealized fantasy defined by fertility (“twins by accident!”), sexual desirability (“so womanly”), and flawlessness (“so perfect”). The unrealistic image shows how Ken’s infidelity has distorted Carrie’s perception, pushing her into binary thinking where she and Janet are complete opposites.

“If you’re truly at a loss, just look for the lanky woman with sharp elbows, drinking an Arnold Palmer.”

Before they meet for the first time, Carrie describes her physical appearance so that David can spot her in public. This self-deprecating description is humorous and unflattering, conveying her lack of self-worth. While the portrayal suggests she is tall and slim, the adjectives “lanky” and “sharp” evoke an awkwardness and angularity that contrasts with Carrie’s vision of Janet as “womanly” and “perfect.”

“My world is black and white, and you are Technicolor.”

In a love letter, Ken uses antithesis to convey Janet’s effect on him. The metaphor describing his world as “black and white” suggests monotonous routine and boredom. By contrast, the figurative description of Janet as “Technicolor” implies a hyperreal intensity of color, as well as evoking classic Hollywood glamor. The allusion portrays Janet as a portal to fantasy and escape from the tedium of his everyday life. While intended to flatter Janet, Ken presents her as a novelty that exists to enliven his world rather than as a rounded person with agency.

“I can’t remember how long it’s been since I felt that unguarded. Or maybe I should say carefree.”

Carrie’s observation that she is uncharacteristically “unguarded” with David suggests how infidelity has made her wary and watchful. The adjective “carefree” suggests lightness and the absence of anxiety. Carrie’s description of David’s impact on her echoes Janet’s articulation of feelings of liberation during her affair with Ken. This parallelism underscores how Janet and Ken’s affair acts as a catalyst for intimacy between their spouses.

“You have to be the most well-read, cultured, intelligent woman I know. I am stunned by your insights and your kindness.”

David’s compliment to Carrie contrasts with Ken’s earlier description of Janet as “Technicolor.” While Ken focuses on one attribute of Janet (her vibrancy), David’s praise of Carrie blends intellectual admiration with moral regard, suggesting a true meeting of minds. In comparison, Ken’s tribute to Janet appears superficial.

“You are the second half of my heart nowadays, Carrie Ann.”

David’s metaphorical declaration that Carrie is “the second half of [his] heart” suggests that she completes him emotionally, elevating their bond to an identity-shaping attachment. The use of her full name, Carrie Ann, conveys affectionate intimacy, and the adverb “nowadays” implies a shift in emotional focus from his marriage toward Carrie. The sentence illustrates how David and Carrie’s correspondence increasingly takes on the tone of love letters.

“Anyway, about the sandbar. It reminded me of you because you are my sandbar. I was lost at sea, and then you showed up. My dry land.”

David uses an extended metaphor to explain what Carrie means to him. His assertion that he was “lost at sea” before their friendship evokes the emotional disorientation and loss caused by Janet’s infidelity. Defining Carrie as his “sandbar” implies that she provided security and safety at his moment of greatest need. The metaphor conveys profound gratitude while emphasizing Carrie’s crucial role in his life.

“How odd to feel confused that your husband is telling the truth. And yet, I have to admit, there was real comfort in that. It was as if the Ken I fell in love with reappeared: trustworthy, dependable.”

Carrie’s confession captures a conflict between wariness and longing. She wants to believe that her relationship with Ken is restored to its original state. However, the conjunction “as if” undercuts Ken’s “trustworthy, dependable” appearance, indicating doubt. Carrie’s confusion at Ken’s apparent honesty highlights how deceitfulness has become his default position in the marriage.

“I kept thinking of you, to be honest. What you have shown me, how much I look forward to seeing you. You have come to mean so much to me.”

David admits that even during his longed-for reconciliation with Janet, his thoughts and affections are oriented toward Carrie. The repetition of “you” throughout these sentences intensifies his focus on Carrie while sidelining Janet. The declaration hints that David is no longer fully emotionally committed to repairing his marriage.

“I will leave Carrie in a heartbeat. She is not you, has not meant to me in ten years what you have come to mean to me in a matter of months.”

As Ken assures Janet that he will gladly abandon Carrie for her, he depicts their 10-year marriage as emotionally negligible. The metaphor “I will leave Carrie in a heartbeat” paradoxically draws attention to Ken’s heartless treatment of his wife. The repetition of “me” in the second sentence centers Ken’s preoccupation with his own needs and desires above all else.

“I am a divorcée and a single mother, and I live with my parents at the age of thirty-one. All things I never imagined for myself. But I’m doing alright with all of it, I have to say.”

In her final letter to David, Carrie names three socially loaded facts: She is divorced, a single mother, and has returned to live with her parents. The first sentence acknowledges roles that she would have previously found stigmatizing. However, her assertion “I’m doing alright” conveys her changing view of shaming social labels. Carrie emphasizes her Liberation Through Heartbreak as she finds contentment in roles that she formerly feared.