Finding Grace

Tom Wharton is the protagonist of the novel. He is married to Honor at the novel’s start, with whom he has a daughter, Chloe. Tom works in finance and has a nominally happy life when Finding Grace begins. However, his marriage has been tumultuous ever since Honor began seeking out an egg donor. Tom has stayed by her side throughout the process but becomes frustrated with Honor for disregarding their present life and “obsessing over wanting another child” (10). He becomes angry with her—particularly during their holiday in Paris—for failing to “realize what we have instead of what you feel we don’t” (10). The couple’s argument over their surrogate Jess’s potential pregnancy is the last conversation they have before Honor and Chloe die. As a result, Tom is weighed by shame and guilt for years to come.

Tom is a dynamic character who is mired in his sorrow throughout the majority of the novel. Even years after Honor and Chloe die, Tom does “[a]nything to avoid grief’s tight bite” (58). His avoidant behaviors only cause his grief to fester. He hides Honor’s and Chloe’s things in the basement and refuses to sort through them. He devotes his life to his second child Henry, but he refuses to tell Henry about Honor and Chloe. He also tells his friends that he is fine and does not need to pursue new relationships or habits. These behaviors only protract Tom’s unaddressed sorrow and preclude him from fostering healthy relationships. Over time, however, Tom does learn to embrace the truth, to confront his pain, and to pursue healing.

Tom’s romantic relationship with Grace Stone contributes to his evolution. When Tom first starts seeing Grace, he decides against telling her that she is Henry’s egg donor. He is afraid that revealing the truth will only push Grace away. Grace is the ideal woman—authentic, beautiful, empathetic, and honest. Tom loves having her in his life and hopes she will take on an important role with Henry, too. At the same time, his lies of omission build their relationship on unsolid ground. Without the truth, Grace does not know who Tom or Henry really is. Tom subjects her to a false reality, which ultimately angers Grace and isolates Tom. While Tom’s behavior is morally dubious, his choices convey his deep hope of Finding Love After Loss. He genuinely falls for Grace and comes to care about her. He hides the truth from her because he does not want to cause her more pain or risk losing her.

Tom and Grace’s reconciliation offers Tom a chance at a new life. With and through Grace, he learns how to love again. He learns how to reopen his heart, to rediscover himself, and to recreate a healthy, happy family.

Grace Stone is another of the novel’s primary characters. She is Henry’s egg donor and Tom’s love interest. Grace first appears to the Wharton family in the form of an anonymous egg donor profile, labeled as “DONOR: 1940GG,” or Dunkirk (60). For months, Honor seeks out the perfect donor for her prospective second child. Honor has “a visceral reaction” when she stumbles upon Grace’s “unpolished and authentic” profile (61). She immediately knows that Grace is the donor she wants to work with: She both resembles Honor physically and has the sensibility and personality Honor has hoped for. Despite her excitement over working with Grace, Honor tells Tom nothing about her. He is therefore shocked when he discovers her interview CD after Honor’s death. Like Honor, Tom is immobilized when he hears Grace speak on the CD, “his eyes wide and unblinking” (61). Tom feels the same instant connection with Grace, which is why he seeks her out thereafter.

Grace offers Tom hope of finding love after loss. Like Tom, Grace has experienced significant loss in her life. Her husband Pietro died of a heart attack when he was only 32 years old. His death plunged her into grief and despair and robbed her of her hopes for the future. Before Pietro’s death, Grace had her eggs retrieved in hopes of having a child. After his death, she gave up on this hope and donated her eggs, a decision that ultimately led her to become Henry’s egg donor. Her encounter with loss and sorrow thus offers her an organic point of connection with Tom. She is familiar with grief, shame, and guilt, and she doesn’t judge Tom’s struggle to restart his life in the wake of losing his family. Her grace and love offer Tom a second chance while allowing her to rediscover companionship and happiness, too.

Tom’s failure to be honest with Grace complicates her storyline and character arc. For six years, Grace has let her grief fester. She formed the grief group Sunday Blues at her wine shop, but she has made few efforts to truly confront and heal from her loss. Everything changes when Tom appears in her life. She opens her heart for the first time since losing Pietro. Her vulnerability with and trust in Tom conveys her desire for change and growth. However, when she learns that Tom has been lying to her, Grace pulls away. She is furious with Tom for taking advantage of her, deeming his behavior fraudulent. With time and counsel, however, Grace does have a change of heart and forgives Tom. On Christmas Day, she reveals that she is pregnant with their daughter—an announcement which offers the couple yet another chance at love, hope, and renewal.

Annie is a secondary character. She has been Honor’s “closest friend since day one of university” and remains a fixture in Tom’s life years after Honor and Chloe die (6). Annie lives in the same London neighborhood as Tom and helps to support and love him through his sorrow. Annie is a strong-willed, honest, and opinionated character. When Tom tells her he found and met Grace, Annie is incensed. She immediately warns Tom to be careful, terrified that he’ll create a legal mess and hurt himself and Grace.

Annie serves as Tom’s conscience throughout the novel. He is often frustrated with Annie for nagging or advising him, but everything she says is out of love. Even after Tom goes so far as to propose to Grace with Honor’s engagement ring, Annie does not give up on Tom. She promises that they will get through the mess together after Grace discovers the truth and leaves Tom. Annie is a static character, but that is part of her role—her constancy offers Tom safety and security through an impossible season of his life.

Lauren is another of the novel’s secondary characters and another of Honor’s and Tom’s closest friends. She was there at the beginning of the couple’s relationship and remains a close confidante of Tom’s in the years following Honor and Chloe’s deaths. Lauren is also familiar with loss and sorrow: Her ex-husband Daniel “doted on Lauren” in “the early days of their relationship” (38), but he later left her for another woman with whom he had a secret second family. Lauren repeatedly gripes about Daniel and his betrayal throughout the novel.

Lauren is a static character and ends up playing an antagonistic role in Tom’s story. At first, Lauren appears to be the loyal best friend who will do anything for Tom because of their history together. As time passes, however, she grows increasingly jealous and unpredictable. She is unwelcoming to Grace and feels envious of her relationship with Tom and Henry. The novel’s climactic engagement party scene reveals that Lauren has been trying to sabotage Tom and Grace’s relationship because she has been in love with Tom for years. She is the one who plays Grace’s interview CD at the party, outing the truth and creating upheaval in Tom’s relationship and their friend group. While Lauren isn’t nefarious, she is lonely and embittered. Her hurtful behaviors are symptoms of her longing and pain.