Finding Grace

Grace Stone’s egg donation CD is a symbol of the Moral Challenges of Owning the Truth. Honor has held onto and hidden the CD for months. Before her death, she had “been secretly writing a memoir and listening to Dunkirk’s voice on a loop” (60). She didn’t tell Tom about Grace or the CD because she was afraid of how he’d respond to the truth. She concealed Grace’s recorded interview in an attempt to shield her husband from her continued longing for a child.

After Honor’s death, Tom discovers the CD and is overwhelmed to learn the identity of Henry’s egg donor. Her interview is “different from all the others. She wasn’t trying to sell herself like the rest of the candidates” (61), and her profile starkly resembles Honor’s physicality, personality, and sensibility. For these reasons, Tom seeks out Grace and pursues a relationship with her. Even after they authentically fall in love, he retains the CD, a constant reminder of his moral duplicity. He is hiding the truth from Grace for fear of upsetting her and pushing her away, but the concealed CD is evidence of his deception. Tom often fears Grace will discover the CD and his lie in turn. He at times wishes he’d destroyed it immediately after listening to it. The CD’s presence in the safe weighs on him, symbolizing his guilt and shame.

When Lauren plays the CD on the stereo at the engagement party, the truth comes out, and Tom must acknowledge the moral conundrum he has created for himself. He must face Grace’s anger and live without her for a time, too. Ultimately, however, the CD’s excavation compels him and Grace to own the truth of their fateful connection together, and to reconcile with it.

Honor’s engagement ring is a symbol of betrayal. When Tom goes into the safe to retrieve and show Grace the CD, she finds him clutching “the red box that contained [Honor’s] engagement ring” (254). Tom makes the dubious decision to stage an impromptu wedding proposal—using Grace’s excitement and surprise over the ring to skirt the truth once more.

When he opens the box, Tom’s reaction to seeing the ring for the first time in years conveys his guilt and shame about giving it to Grace. The mere “sight of it” makes him “take an involuntary breath, the air hitting hard against his throat turning it dry” (254). Tom knows he is doing something wrong, which explains his reaction. His shame only intensifies when Lauren, Annie, and Oliver are incensed by his decision to give his late wife’s ring to Grace. The ring exposes Tom’s dishonesty and conveys his desperation. To Colette, it reveals Tom’s fear of confronting his grief; he is willing to betray Honor’s memory just to avoid experiencing more loss.