Finding My Way: A Memoir

“At fifteen years old, I hadn’t had time to figure out who I wanted to be when, suddenly, everyone wanted to tell me who I was. An inspiration, a hero, an activist. But also a wallflower, a punching bag, a paycheck. To my parents, I was an obedient daughter. To my friends, a good listener. When I was alone, I unraveled—because the hardest thing to be was myself.”

In the introduction, Yousafzai establishes her theme on Coming of Age Amid Conflicting Cultural Expectations. By deriding the extreme perceptions others had of her, from “hero” to “punching bag” or “paycheck,” the author highlights how her life did not feel like her own to live. This passage sets up Yousafzai’s journey from a tightly managed teenager to a fully independent woman.

“Before I understood what was happening, I was thrust into an unfamiliar, unbidden life—crossing the globe to give speeches and pose for photos, spending most of my time with adults. Backstage at big events, one of them would spin me around by the shoulders and cry, ‘High energy, Malala! Give them everything!’ To these grown-ups, I was a public figure and a product to be marketed; they were blind to the awkward teenager sitting next to them, trying to do her homework.”

Yousafzai’s early experiences with activism left her feeling overwhelmed and misunderstood. By calling herself a “product” in their eyes, Yousafzai suggests that the adults who managed her did not respect her needs or perspective as a teenager. These memories depict Yousafzai as a teen who missed out on many adolescent experiences due to her obligations as an activist.

“They would bunk in the dorms and walk with me to all my classes. Anywhere I couldn’t walk, they would drive me in a bulletproof car. If I went out to dinner or a party, a few middle-aged dads in blazers and earpieces would be there too. Just what every college girl wants, I thought. I was grateful for their protection and understood it was necessary, but I hoped they wouldn’t create a barrier between me and the other students.”

The author explains how her security team accompanied her everywhere during her college studies. This passage gives the reader insight into how Yousafzai’s life continues to be circumscribed by the Taliban’s violent actions against her.