Finding My Way: A Memoir

Finding My Way is a 2025 memoir by Pakistani author and activist Malala Yousafzai, published by Atria Books. In the memoir, Yousafzai shares personal stories and reflections from her early adulthood. She reveals how she has forged her own identity while grappling with mental health challenges, the ups and downs of her first love, and the costs of her fame and global activism. This book repositions Yousafzai’s public narrative, adding nuance to her reputation as a survivor and advocate by revealing her inner thoughts and feelings as she negotiates culture, partnership, and purpose in a changing world.

This guide will refer to the Kindle edition of this book.

Content Warning: This book includes references to gender discrimination, violence and physical abuse, illness and mental illness, substance use, and death.

Summary

In her first passages, Yousafzai recalls how the Taliban’s assassination attempt changed her life forever. After recovering from the worst of her injuries, Yousafzai began attending high school in Birmingham, UK, her new home. She experienced loneliness and isolation as she adjusted to a new culture and tried to make sense of everything that had happened to her.

Next, the author reflects on her high hopes as she prepared to attend Oxford University. For Yousafzai, her university experience was a chance to branch out from her confining life as a globally recognized activist, Nobel Prize winner, and responsible eldest daughter. Yousafzai asserted her newfound independence by choosing her own clothes, making new friends, trying different social clubs, and neglecting her schoolwork. The author explains how she grappled with pressure from her family and commentators in Pakistan to adhere to more traditional customs, especially in terms of clothes and dating, but ultimately rejected these standards as sexist and constricting.

Yousafzai fondly remembers her first trip back to Pakistan over five years after the Taliban attempt on her life. She especially cherished the chance to reconnect with her cousins and her childhood best friend, Moniba. Back at Oxford in her second year, Yousafzai was determined to become a better student, but her progress was stalled by an experience with marijuana, which triggered traumatic memories of her shooting. Feeling overwhelmed, Yousafzai leaned on her close friends and tried to manage her ongoing panic attacks. That summer, Yousafzai began dating Asser Malik, a Pakistani cricket manager whom she met through mutual friends. While she liked Asser, their budding romance was marred by Yousafzai’s fear of her family and culture’s judgment. She loved being with Asser, but Yousafzai had never pictured herself as a married woman and had problems with the patriarchal nature of marriage as it was practiced in her native culture.

Social and academic stress, as well as her ongoing mental health challenges, made Yousafzai’s final autumn at Oxford a dark time for her. Feeling more stressed and disconnected than ever, Yousafzai sought help from a therapist. While she was nervous about beginning this unfamiliar process, Yousafzai was relieved to learn more about her Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and how to better take care of herself. Feeling hopeful, Yousafzai looked forward to her final term at Oxford, only to have the Covid-19 pandemic shut down campus, trapping her at her family home. Yousafzai was saddened to complete her degree online and without the companionship of her friends, but she stayed in touch with everyone. Living with her parents again opened her eyes to how they, too, had changed over the last several years, softening their gender roles at home and experiencing new aspects of UK culture. Yousafzai was proud and relieved to graduate from Oxford, feeling triumphant that she had fulfilled her childhood dream of graduating with a university degree.

After her graduation, Yousafzai looked ahead to the future, wondering what kind of personal and professional decisions she should make. Yousafzai decided to marry Asser, and she describes how his companionship has enriched her life. Personally, Yousafzai has continued to pursue therapy and self-care to heal from her traumatic experiences as well as the ongoing stress of her work as an activist. Her visit to the girls’ school she built in Shangla, Pakistan was a deeply moving experience for Yousafzai, who delighted in seeing the quality education the girls were enjoying at the first girls’ high school in the area. Yousafzai is committed to her calling as an education and women’s rights activist and has embraced the unexpected directions her life has taken.