The novel posits that familial alienation and feelings of otherness begin in childhood. Serk registers his loneliness as the only member of his family of origin who enjoys the state of his life during the war. Because he is still a child, he has no frame of reference for his Communist-leaning parents’ discontent with the Japanese government or for their growing desire to return to their homeland. When they express their intent to migrate to North Korea, Serk makes an impassioned plea for them to remain in a country that offers opportunities despite facing poor treatment as second-class citizens. His choice to stay in Japan even when his parents depart represents both his alienation from his parents and his hope for their return. Similarly, Louisa inherits her parents’ loneliness by being the only witness to their secrets, as Serk introduces Louisa to his sister and Anne to her first son, each without explaining that these are Louisa’s relatives. Louisa’s lifelong feelings of fear, and her desire to assimilate and not be noticed, stem from the emotional instability of this kind of childhood.

The novel does not portray marriage as necessarily a salvation from loneliness. Anne and Serk begin as kindred spirits because she has also experienced loneliness growing up neglected in a large family. Anne is drawn to Serk because he might be able to understand her loneliness. However, the precarity of Serk’s residency in the United States forces him to hide his past, even from Anne, to protect them both: If he were to reveal the truth, it may implicate her in his expulsion from the country. His fear of trusting her becomes a divide between them. This is exacerbated by the intimacy Anne perceives between Serk and Louisa; Anne is envious of her daughter, causing another layer of isolation. In turn, Louisa’s marriage to Roman recapitulates this dynamic; she can only accept with resignation the fact that she will never fully know her husband.

In contrast, Anne’s second marriage to Walt and Louisa’s growing connection to Tobias show that connection between family members is possible—but only through vulnerability and the willingness to share secrets. Walt is lonely in his own way, but his insistent companionship eventually breaks through Anne’s self-protective prickliness. Still managing her grief at Serk’s disappearance, Anne worries about implicating Walt; however, she eventually is able to share with him her worries about her failures as a mother.

When Tobias introduces himself to Louisa, he kicks off the process of Louisa recovering her memories of her past and of Serk’s disappearance. Tobias’s openness to the world and to the truth contrasts with the Kangs’ tendency to obfuscate, hide, and prevaricate in a misguided attempt to protect one another. Influenced by Tobias’s unwillingness to countenance familial loneliness, when Louisa reunites with Serk, she is primarily interested in developing whatever closeness is possible—even at the cost of Serk ever identifying her as his daughter. When she lies to him that Anne is still alive, to bring him relief in the shadow of his impending death, Louisa transforms her parents’ secrecy into comfort. Through the Kang family’s dynamic, Choi shows that isolation even for the purpose of protection is destructive; instead, connection and mutually shared pain is a better expression of love.