59 pages • 1-hour read
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Content Warning: This section includes discussion of sexual content, death by suicide, self-harm, and sexual abuse.
As Lily and Sharkie debate what name to give the house, Bel knocks at the door. Seeing his battered state, Lily and Sharkie immediately set about taking care of him. As Lily draws him to the bathroom for a shower, he explains how he lost soldiers, people he knew personally, and Lily comforts him. She leaves him, and Sharkie builds a blanket fort while they wait for him. After his shower, they all cuddle up under the blanket fort and read The Hobbit. Lily feels at home with her family.
When Lily brings Sharkie to school later on, she notices that Sharkie has grown—a sure sign that her emotional trauma is being addressed. Sharkie happily rejoices with the demons by the gate when Lily spies a mortal soul trying to escape. He entreats her to help him escape Hell, but a quick glance at his file tells her he is a domestic abuser, and she refuses to help him. After settling the complaints of another soul, she and Sharkie measure her growing progress on a wall in the breakroom. They talk about Lily’s former lives, during which she died young and small.
After dropping Sharkie at school, Lily wonders whether she still wants to reincarnate, considering all the people she has in the Afterlife. She goes to find Bel before their planned visit with his family, and they steal a private, sexual moment in an elevator. They then pick up Sharkie and make their way over.
When they arrive at Bel’s mother’s house, he tells the story of when he was a child and was goaded into flying through the spires of the house. He broke through the window by accident, and his mother punished him for it. Sharkie is nervous about this story, as she’d often been punished for being “wicked,” but Bel and Lily reassure her that this punishment had been warranted and mostly a teaching moment for him to respect boundaries. Bel is soon accosted by his nieces and nephews and later, his mother, Lilith. Lilith decides to test Lily by unexpectedly handing over her youngest baby daughter, Anyaet, to her. When the baby only coos, Lily has passed the secret test, and Lilith welcomes her to the family. As she watches all the small children and Sariah, Asmodeus’s pregnant wife, however, Lily struggles with the impossibility of having children with Bel and wonders if he would want a family. She then notices that Bel’s father is the only one absent. After dinner, Bel’s nieces and nephews ask for flight rides and argue with each other about who will go first. Bel tasks the children with finding an agreed-upon order and offers to fly with Lily in the meantime.
Though trepidatious, Lily agrees to the flight. She is frightened, but eventually, she is captivated by Hell’s otherworldly beauty. They discuss Bel’s love of flying but how he prefers being on the ground where the people he loves are. He tells her of his dream of teaching his own children to fly one day. When he uses the past tense to describe the dream, however, Lily blames herself and alludes to a future where he will be a father without her.
He brings her to the ground, where she entreats him to have a life beyond her. Bel swears that while he will live on until he dies in battle or chooses the Void, he will never have another family beyond the one she’s given him with Sharkie. Lily once again considers whether staying wouldn’t be better than reincarnating. She realizes she is in love with him. Since she isn’t ready to talk about it yet, Bel tells her he’ll wait. They return to the party, where the children clamor for Bel. As Lily leads the children in the game, Bel privately grieves his dream of having children with Lily.
The next day, Lily and Bel are interrupted when Bel is called away on an urgent mission. A week goes by, and as Lily contemplates telling Bel she loves him, she is interrupted by an old soul looking for the Void. She and the old soul speak about choosing the mortal world over the Afterlife, and the soul explains that the mortal world had always felt right to her. She advises Lily to be happy as she makes her own decision and leaves for the Void.
After dealing with a belligerent soul, she sends a message to Bel, telling him there are many things she’s wanted to say to him. When Bel returns from the mission, he briefs Lucifer on the situation: More monsters, chittahi and kelatun, are coming through. While they were contained, the attack patterns changed. When he sees Lily’s message, Bel worries about its underlying meaning.
Bel replies, and Lily’s soul file appears in preparation for the conversation she wants to have with him. She offers to meet him in his office. When she enters, grim-faced, Bel mistakenly believes she wants to break up with him and outright refuses. Lily, however, openly declares that she loves him and offers him her file so he can know every part of her. Bel reciprocates her declaration and informs her that he, too, has been keeping some parts of himself guarded.
He tells her about his father, Samael, one of the first beings in the early days of the Universe and the Afterlife and a prince of Hell. Samael had been Bel’s hero, and he loved him dearly, but after a century, his father chose to end his existence and enter the Void. Bel had accompanied him to the arch. The feeling of not being enough for his father to stay plagued him, despite his father’s assurance that Bel was the best thing in his life. Samael ensured Bel would inherit his royal title, but Bel never felt like he’d earned it and instead dedicated himself wholly to his work and the battles to safekeep their Universe. After centuries, he’d come to understand his father’s existential exhaustion, but then he met Lily.
Lily comforts him and declares her love for him once more. She propositions him for sex but then sees her file and feels guilty for not responding to his vulnerability in kind. Bel reassures her that being vulnerable isn’t a race.
Bel and Lily have sex in his office. After, they rest on Bel’s couch, and Lily offers her file to him. He places his hand on it to see her memories.
Bel witnesses Lily’s childhood, how she’d been a rambunctious child to parents who were ill-fitted in their relationship. Her father, though physically present, rarely engaged with her outside of his own interests. Her mother was a homemaker, and in an effort to lessen the tensions between her parents, Lily took on household responsibilities as a child. As she grew, her church community would openly objectify and sexualize Lily’s body, and they remonstrated with her for her endless questions.
As time passed and she became opinionated, she questioned their tenets on purity and modesty. Her youth leader, Suzanne, would often chastise her for “tempting” boys and men with her clothing. When she was 14, Lily went to a party and was sexually assaulted by her friend’s boyfriend. While she hadn’t told her parents, she’d confided in Suzanne, who blamed her and told her to beg forgiveness from God and her future husband. Her faith ruined, Lily left the church, causing a rift with her parents. Her trauma unresolved, Lily turned to self-harm and, as a college student, eventually sought therapy. Through reading romance books, she began to understand what happened to her and explored sex for her own pleasure.
Her file then details memories of her graduations, of her accumulating tattoos, of working in customer service, and of saving one friend from an abusive partner. At 32, when her cancer symptoms began, she was unable to get proper testing for lack of proper health care coverage. As symptoms grew worse and she received her diagnosis, Lily had raged at being unable to fight against it but refused her parents’ offer to indebt themselves for a treatment plan that would only prolong her suffering. She spent her remaining time making as many memories with her family and friends as she could before dying in her bed after thanking her mother for everything.
Bel is tearful after finishing her file and commends her for her warrior’s soul. He feels rage against her youth leader, Suzanne. He admits that, since telling him about her brothers and her promise to haunt them, he has had teenage demons steal socks from them every once in a while and keeps them in a drawer. Lily realizes this is why teenage demons greet her randomly.
As they are about to engage in another round of sex, Lev and Asmodeus knock at Bel’s door and interrupt them. Lily shoos them away kindly with a promise to give Lev a report on her process at the Hellp Desk.
In this section, both Lily and Bel wrestle with their feelings about being biological parents and The Supportive Dynamics of a Chosen Family. While Lily has grown attached to both Bel and Sharkie and claims to both Sharkie and, privately, to herself that they are “Family. My family” (314), she remains troubled by the impossibility of having a biological child and fears that her relationship with Bel is incomplete without one.
Bel’s attitude offers a contrast to Lily’s fears and an alternative to biological family through chosen family. As he recalls when discussing flying, “Having a family has never been a guarantee, and having winged kids certainly never was, but it was a dream” (348, emphasis added). For Bel, having children is tied up with dreams of carrying on his father’s legacy and sharing experiences—like teaching his children to fly—that mattered during his own childhood. Unlike Lily, however, Bel can set aside this dream for the person he believes is the love of his life and the adopted daughter they co-parent. Bel’s views suggest that family does not need to come in only one form, and that chosen and adoptive families can be just as meaningful and just as valid. Though he is aware there is a chance that their family may eventually separate if Lily chooses reincarnation, Bel is prepared to “love like mortals” (350), knowing that meaningful connections are worth taking risks for.
This section also addresses The Experience of Religious Trauma and Healing through the revelations offered by Lily’s life file. While Lily has hinted throughout earlier sections that there are dark memories in her past tied to religion, she has never fully revealed the details until now. Her experiences of being sexually abused and blamed for others’ criminal behavior parallels Sharkie’s experiences at the hands of her foster mother and predatory pastor. Lily’s memories thus reveal a double trauma: the trauma of the assault, and the trauma of being victim-blamed and then ostracized by the community that should have supported her.
Lily’s file suggests she gradually regained a measure of healing and agency in her mortal life through therapy and exploring her sexuality on her own terms. However, her ongoing feelings of mistrust and unhappiness towards Heaven and other reminders of Christianity speak to how, in being let down by her religious leaders, she still feels alienated from her religion as a whole, even in the Afterlife. Lily’s experiences, like Sharkie’s, therefore reinforce how broken trust and the toxicity of sexist “purity culture” can turn religion into something that feels oppressive instead of comforting for survivors of abuse like Lily and Sharkie.
Finally, this section also invokes The Importance of Self-Determination as Sharkie, Bel, and Lily continue to gain confidence in their own choices. Sharkie’s growth and happiness at school reflect how she feels safe and in control of her own life at last, as her new Afterlife with Lily has helped her develop the self-esteem she never had in her mortal life. Bel’s willingness to open up to Lily about the loss of his father and his own fears and insecurities on and off the battlefield shows a new embrace of emotional vulnerability, with Bel admitting that the world-weariness he previously felt has dissipated thanks to his determination to continue his relationship with Lily. Lily, meanwhile, continues to grow in confidence, confessing her love for Bel and forcing herself to consider what she really wants from her future.



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