Forget Me Not

“Have you ever heard of exposure therapy?…Avoiding the thing you’re afraid of only gives it more power.”

Claire’s friend Ryan really does care for her and wants her to confront the broken feelings she has inside her, reflecting The Negative Impacts of Childhood Neglect. He tries throughout the novel to put a positive spin on difficult things and suggests that perhaps returning to Claxton will help diffuse Claire’s negative feelings about the past and seeing her mother, both of which create trepidation.

“‘But I don’t need her here.’

I clench my jaw, a familiar hurt bubbling up from the depths of my chest as this entire encounter calls to mind the summer they separated. The way my mother would routinely retreat into her bedroom, the quiet click of the door as I stood still in the hall. Her seeping soft sobs I would pretend not to hear…The way I immediately started to curl in on myself while Natalie did the opposite and started to lash out.”

This shows how Annie has hurt Claire by avoiding her emotions and pushing Claire away, reinforcing The Negative Impacts of Childhood Neglect. It also shows how the child Claire learned to “curl in on herself” and hide her feelings, too, mimicking her mother while teenage Natalie responds with anger. Annie’s seeming rejection, which she thinks is protection, drives Claire throughout the novel and is part of the source of her shame.

“I bounce down a few more miles of road now, the live oaks on either side forming a twisted bridge with their branches; streamers of Spanish moss like a decorative archway beckoning me in. It’s a gorgeous sight, just like I remember, although it feels a little unkempt now, a little neglected. Patches of overgrown grass peppered with weeds […] the nostalgic glow of Galloway has been slightly snuffed out after my years away and I can’t help but wonder if it always looked like this, if my memory had simply buffed out the harsh edges, or if it has more recently descended into a state of disrepair.”

This description of the landscape of the Island’s vineyard and surrounding area shows how there is a blend of nostalgia and decay, which runs throughout the story. This section also focuses on how Claire is unsure of the accuracy of memories and observations, something that will play into her weakness toward Marcia/Lily later. There is a pull toward “glow” and away from “harsh edges” even though an awareness of them exists, reflecting The Deceptive Nature of Appearances.

“Why couldn’t she walk away? She should be getting home. She needed to get back to her room, get tucked in bed, but for some reason, her shoes stayed planted on the ground beneath her like the soles themselves had fused into concrete.”

This shows how teenager Marcia Rayburn feels seduced by Mitchell Galloway from the moment they meet in 1984. Inexperienced with boys, Marcia is confused by her attraction to Mitchell, and is pulled away from her better instincts by The Deceptive Nature of Appearances. His mesmerizing personality is given credence by Marcia feeling unable to move. It is a moment that is nearly an out of body decision as her “shoes sta[y] planted […] the soles themselves” firm on the sidewalk, which creates an otherworldly quality to the experience.

“It strikes me as strange, suddenly, how blindly reliant we are on technology. How much has changed since 2002. How we go about our lives swiping and ragging, clicking and tapping, and how back when Natalie disappeared, none of this stuff even existed. There was no digital trail pointing directly to Jeffrey.”

Claire is reflecting on the island’s remoteness and its weak internet signal. This passage shows how truly isolated she is, setting up suspense that she may not find help when she needs it. However, it also shows that things today can be traced, that they leave a trail, proving that the internet will be a handy tool when Claire does discover things. In retrospect, it shows it was easier for DiNello to frame Jeffrey for the crime in 2002.

“Ryan laughs, a sound that emerges from the depth of his chest, and I’m reminded again of that strange surge of guilt I felt in the vineyard, the flash of his face that appeared in my mind the second Liam asked about a boyfriend back home. Ryan and I have only ever been friends.”

In the New York bar in the early chapters, Ryan is outed for having feelings for Claire by his boss. Claire admits here she, too, has feelings for him. However, she has never shown him her interest. This shows that Claire would like to be in a significant relationship, but emotionally isn’t ready due to “trust issues, attachment issues” (100) which trace back to her sister’s murder and The Negative Impacts of Childhood Neglect.

“‘People,’ he clarified, his fingers twisting through the fine strands of her hair. ‘I studied people.’”

When Marcia discovers a sweatshirt from UC-Berkeley in Mitchell’s camper, he claims he used to go there and studied psychology. This aids him in leading Marcia to believe he is intelligent and that he understands the inner workings of her heart. Later in the novel, Claire will learn psychology wasn’t a major until 1988. Still, Claire realizes, “he wasn’t lying when he said he studied people […] scrutinizing the things that made them tick and tucking them away for his own gain” (219). Mitchell’s manipulation speaks to The Danger of Trusting Strangers.

“William has a beard, Jane’s hair is entirely gray, and I suddenly think of my mother again, how she’s aged in such a bone-deep way. There’s a weariness to her that’s infused into everything: her eyes sunken in and shoulders slumped down like a weight of the world is too much to hold.”

Looking at Marcia’s parents at the height of their grief in an article in the newspaper helps Claire identify Annie’s distress and feelings of loss. The idea of people having a “glow” that is somehow decaying with age is an echo of the landscape of Galloway Farm. While Claire thinks Annie’s grief is about Natalie’s disappearance with Jeffrey, she doesn’t realize that Annie is also affected by guilt caused by Natalie’s paternity.

“Up until that point, she was under the impression that it was just them, just the two of them, a small part of her resented the fact that there were now others thrown into the mix […] at the same time, she was drawn to the idea of belonging to something. Of no longer floating through life so alone.”

This passage details Marcia’s desire to be loved by Mitchell and that the major appeal of the relationship is that it has made her feel special. Mitchell’s development of a sort of commune (“the others” who are later called “the family”) speaks to how he manipulates vulnerable people, reflecting The Danger of Trusting Strangers. The lonely Marcia is both resentful of additional people coming into their bubble and excited to be part of a group, since she was often ostracized at school because of the way her parents made her dress and behave.

“If you neglect the crop, it’ll die on the vine.”

This is something Mitchell tells Claire about picking grapes and she remembers it later when she sees some putrid fruit. Tellingly, it comes up just before Liam reveals—but Claire doesn’t realize—that he has never set foot off Galloway Farm. This helps to highlight how Claire accurately sees things but also often misses things, like Liam being Mitchell’s true prisoner.

“‘They’re dainty but tough,’ Lily continued, pushing a stem into the braid. ‘Invasive, under the right conditions. They can make the most hostile environments home.’”

At first, this passage appears to show Lily’s resilience as someone who makes the best of every circumstance. However, Lily has already killed Katherine Ann Prichard because Lily feared Mitchell would leave. Lily is determined to keep her “home” by removing anything that feels “hostile” to it. Her association with the lily of the valley speaks to The Deceptive Nature of Appearances, as both Lily and the flower seem nice but are deadly.

“‘To the family,’ Lily said, fingers lingering against Marcia’s smooth skin as she felt her pulse begin to mount in her neck. ‘To us.’”

This shows how Lily demands loyalty and she has rejected Annie because she wasn’t dedicated to the “the family.” This is a perversion of what family should mean and Marcia’s gut instinct tells her so. It seems protective of Lily to say that Marcia doesn’t have to worry about Annie, but Marcia recognizes it for what it really is, a veiled threat. This is particularly true when we later learn Annie left the family because of what happened to Katherine.

“I could see their two bodies making their way to the shed, presumably to grab supplies for the storm. Then Mitchell went in first as Liam glanced back at the house, hesitating for a second before he took a deep breath and stepped in after.”

This takes place after Claire has snuck into the main house to investigate and Mitchell arrives back at the farm rather early. Liam has drawn him from the house to help him secure things, but his glance here suggests that he suspects Claire is in the house and is giving her time to get out.

“‘They told us everything was probably fine,’ I say, shaking my head as the tears stream out faster. ‘That she took a bag and she’d be back soon, so I never mentioned how she’d been sneaking out for weeks at that point. That I thought she was seeing someone because I could smell it on her clothes.’

‘Claire,’ Ryan says again. ‘None of that is your fault.’”

This quote is pivotal in showing how Eric DiNello obfuscated the truth of Natalie’s disappearance to give himself time to frame Jeffrey Slater, how Claire has internalized her guilt, and how Ryan gives her permission to forgive herself. It also shows how deeply Ryan understands Claire and how this helps her heal her wounds surrounding The Negative Impacts of Childhood Neglect.

“And she always scrawled her name somewhere—Lily was here—in the surface of a countertop, written in lipstick on a hallway mirror.”

While this might be a benign version of the blood-scrawled obscenities left by the Manson family at the Sharon Tate murders, it also shows how desperate Lily is to be seen. Her constant signature is to show her importance, a plea to be recognized as being important enough to have a place.

“‘Kids are so vulnerable at that age,’ Liam responds and I find myself nodding. The fact that my sister probably never even considered someone like [Jeffrey] might cause her harm. ‘They think they’re invincible. Like the concept of mortality doesn’t even apply.’”

Claire doesn’t know it, but this is Liam talking about himself and the fact that Natalie was killed for trying to expose Mitchell and rescue him. He notes how they really thought they could succeed and that he never realizes that her death was something that could really happen. Claire thinks her sister didn’t even realize someone like Jeffrey would harm her, but the truth is she didn’t think the police or “Marcia” would, reflecting The Danger of Trusting Strangers.

“In truth, it was the picture of Annie that had started all of this: plucking it from the fridge that day and glancing at the girl with another man by her side, a look of love scribbled all over his face. It made Marcia realize that Mitchell had never looked at her that way; whatever he felt for her, it wasn’t that. Instead he looked at her the way a wolf looks at a flock of lost sheep, zeroing in on the runt of them all before separating it slowly from the rest of the herd.”

Marcia’s notation on this photo shows a great shift in her perspective. She recognizes what true love is and that Mitchell is incapable of it. She also compares Mitchell to a predator who deliberately looks for the lost and weak. This is in deep contrast to her earlier view of him as a messiah, reflecting The Deceptive Nature of Appearances.

“I’m surrounded by a bed of wildflowers, delicate petals spreading out in each direction as I sweep my flashlight across a sea of light blue. They’re absolutely everywhere, a hidden meadow in the midst of all this black, and I raise my gaze slowly, my eyes following the light until it lands on something a few feet ahead: a mound of rusted metal atop an altar of flowers like a lost tombstone or private shrine.”

Claire discovers the missing camper, which is Katherine’s, and it is surrounded by the forget-me-nots that represent Natalie. This suggests the discovery is a sort of gift sent by Natalie, a “hidden meadow in the midst of all this black.” The tombstone imagery foreshadows the deaths that will be ultimately revealed once the camper’s license plate is traced. Here, nature hasn’t forgotten the dead and has revealed it to Claire in an almost spiritual fashion.

“I think about how she wore this for years until, that summer, she suddenly stopped. I always thought she took it off, that she outgrew it the same way she outgrew me…but now I know that wasn’t the case […] Now I know she lost it that summer, the cheap clasp breaking as she lay in the camper.”

Finding the necklace helps to heal Claire, who has always believed that Natalie no longer cared about her in the same way after she began sneaking out of her room at night. Claire, who’d given Natalie the necklace when she was nine, was deeply hurt by what she thought was cruelty. Knowing that the item was lost. not discarded, soothes her feelings.

“I blink away a tear focusing on my sister’s smiling face in an attempt to wash down the nausea clawing its way up my throat…but then I notice something else in the picture—or, rather, someone else. There are a few other people in this one, the faces of co-workers I never paid attention to. I had simply blurred them all out, my admiration for Natalie overpowering them all, but now I zero in on a person off to the right, the edge of his profile barely in the shot, though his adolescent face is suddenly so familiar I have no idea how I didn’t see it before.”

Here Claire realizes how easy it can be to overlook an important clue. The fact that Liam is in the picture means he knew Natalie and was on the farm even at the age of 17. This helps Claire put together that Liam is the Galloways’ son, not just the farm’s caretaker. He is literally part of the family, part of the landscape. He is a primary suspect.

“I remember that acronym scrawled in the corner, the handwriting so different than every other page. It was written in silver, just like those gel pens Natalie kept in her desk, and now I realize it was a license plate number. She must have jotted it down when she noticed the California plates, decided to search for it later in her quest to learn more.”

Although Claire thinks this when she is imprisoned in the shed, this insight reveals that Natalie was doing the exact same thing she was—investigating what had happened to Katherine Ann Prichard. She, too, recognized that something was off at Galloway Farm. This helps bond Claire to her sister’s memory and shows they aren’t the opposites she thought they were.

“I think of that picture I just got developed, the one of Marcia gaping into the lens. It hadn’t registered before, but I realize now that that’s the only picture I’d ever seen of her in color. The ones from the paper had been in black-and-white, scanned and archived and grainy on my screen, but now I think of the unease that settled into my stomach when I first took in that image, stared into her eyes […] In that picture, Marcia’s eyes had been blue. Not their current lifeless gray.”

Noticing Marcia’s eyes is crucial to Claire’s understanding that Lily stole Marcia’s identity after killing her. This allowed her to permanently escape the police’s search for Carmen’s killer. Lily ceased to exist and “Marcia” took over raising her baby and stayed at Galloway, invoking The Deceptive Nature of Appearances.

“‘We’re nothing alike,’ I reply, that same line I’ve repeated to myself over and over and over again.

‘Yes, you are,’ he argues. ‘Natalie risked her life to help me and you risked your life to help her.’”

Liam recognizes that Claire is just like her sister, even though Claire doesn’t. He talks about both the Campbell sisters’ goodness, how each was willing to put themselves aside for someone else. Claire reassures Liam, who has saved her life, that he was manipulated and Natalie’s tragic death wasn’t his fault either, reflecting The Negative Impacts of Childhood Neglect.