Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

Set during the Jazz Age of the 1920s and written entirely in diary form, the novel follows Lorelei Lee, a shrewd and comic blonde flapper whose misspelled, grammatically tangled entries reveal far more than she intends about her talent for manipulating wealthy men. A gentleman friend who is a senator suggests she keep a diary, and the resulting chronicle spans Lorelei's adventures from New York to Europe and back as she pursues diamonds, social status, and what she calls "education."

Lorelei's primary benefactor is Mr. Eisman, a wealthy Chicago businessman known as "Gus Eisman the Button King," who funds her lifestyle under the guise of educating her. Their New York routine consists of dinners at the Colony restaurant, Broadway shows, and late suppers at the Trocadero. Lorelei's best friend, Dorothy, is an outspoken, irreverent companion who irritates Lorelei by addressing Mr. Eisman too casually. Lorelei mentions her origins near Little Rock, Arkansas, and her brief, abandoned attempts at careers in music and cinema, the latter ended by Mr. Eisman because his orthodox mother disapproves of girls in film.

Lorelei hosts a literary evening and meets an English novelist named Gerald Lamson. On her birthday, Mr. Eisman initially presents a disappointingly small diamond; Lorelei feigns a headache until he returns with a large square-cut diamond bracelet. When Mr. Eisman leaves for Chicago, Lorelei and Gerry grow closer. He takes her to modest restaurants and hansom cab rides, valuing her soul over her appearance. He declares himself madly in love, urging Lorelei to give up Mr. Eisman and wait for him to divorce his wife, but Lorelei grows restless with his endless talking and lack of entertainment. She writes to Mr. Eisman, who arrives promptly and persuades her that traveling to Paris is far more valuable than marrying an author. Lorelei sails for Europe with Dorothy, timing her departure for when Gerry is lecturing in Cincinnati to avoid a confrontation.

On the ship, Lorelei spots Mr. Bartlett, the district attorney from a traumatic episode in her past. In a flashback recounted to Major Falcon, a British government agent she meets on board, Lorelei explains that her father sent her to Little Rock to study stenography, where a lawyer named Mr. Jennings hired her. After discovering Jennings with a woman of ill repute, Lorelei had hysterics, blacked out, and shot him; a sympathetic jury acquitted her in three minutes. The presiding judge gave her the name "Lorelei" after a famous figure from German legend and arranged her ticket to Hollywood, where she eventually met Mr. Eisman. Major Falcon recruits Lorelei to extract information from Bartlett about a secret American aeroplane acquisition mission. Over several days Bartlett falls in love with Lorelei and reveals the mission details, which she passes to Falcon.

In London, Lorelei and Dorothy discover that English society ladies are mostly interested in selling them things. At a tea party, a lady named Mrs. Weeks offers a diamond tiara for $7,500. Lorelei meets Sir Francis Beekman, a wealthy but notoriously tight-fisted gentleman she nicknames "Piggie," and sets about training him in American-style generosity. She devises a scheme in which a bellhop delivers orchids to her room while Piggie is present; she credits Piggie for the flowers, flattering him into establishing daily deliveries. When Piggie's wife announces her arrival in London, Lorelei accelerates her plan and maneuvers Piggie into purchasing the tiara, an act of spending so unprecedented it nearly causes Mrs. Weeks to faint. With the tiara secured, Dorothy and Lorelei depart hastily for Paris.

In Paris, Piggie's formidable wife, Lady Francis Beekman, arrives at their hotel demanding the tiara's return and threatening legal action. Lady Beekman's French lawyer, Monsieur Broussard, and his son Louie are dispatched to recover it, but both find Dorothy and Lorelei charming. Lorelei learns that the Broussards plan to steal the tiara while billing all their courting expenses to Lady Beekman. She devises a counter-scheme: She places the real tiara in the Ritz safe, buys a paste imitation, and carries it in her handbag to encourage the Broussards to keep spending Lady Beekman's money. After Dorothy sells the paste tiara to each Broussard separately, Lorelei reveals it was fake and suggests they present another paste copy to Lady Beekman as the genuine article. The Broussards agree enthusiastically.

Mr. Eisman arrives in Paris, then departs for Vienna to investigate a button factory and sends for Lorelei and Dorothy. On the Orient Express, Lorelei meets Henry H. Spoffard, scion of a prominent, very wealthy New York family famous for censoring immoral plays. A young man, Henry devotes himself entirely to moral reform and defers to his mother in all decisions. Lorelei presents herself as an old-fashioned girl struggling to reform Dorothy, and Henry is intrigued.

In Vienna, Lorelei maintains a dual schedule: daytime outings with Henry and evenings with Mr. Eisman at cabarets, sustained by champagne and no sleep. Henry takes Lorelei to see Dr. Freud, who is astonished to find a patient who never dreams and always does exactly what she wants; his prescription is that she cultivate some inhibitions. Meanwhile, Henry's mother's companion, the sharp-eyed Miss Chapman, investigates Lorelei's past, uncovering that the Gwynn family once paid Lorelei $10,000 not to marry their son Willie. On a moonlit carriage ride, Lorelei tearfully tells Henry a sanitized version of her history, and he kisses her forehead, comparing her to Mary Magdalene. Lorelei undermines Miss Chapman's credibility during a private luncheon with Henry's mother and, when Henry signals his desire to propose, strategically departs for Budapest, instructing him to put the proposal in writing. His letter arrives confirming the engagement. She accepts by telegram, though she privately debates whether it might be more profitable to let Henry break the engagement so she could sue for breach of promise.

Back in New York, Henry presents his Amherst College class ring as an engagement ring, feeling store-bought diamonds lack sentiment. Lorelei throws a spectacular debut party lasting three days that features bootleg liquor, Ziegfeld Follies entertainers, and members of the Racquet Club, a prestigious men's club; the event earns front-page headlines. She visits the Spoffard estate in Pennsylvania, where a weekend of church services and enforced early rising convinces her that family life with the Spoffards is unbearable. On the train home, she meets Mr. Gilbertson Montrose, a scenario writer who suggests she would be ideal to star in his film about Dolly Madison, a historical first lady.

Lorelei initially plans to drive Henry away through extravagant spending at Cartier's, instructing Dorothy to frighten him with exaggerated stories about her ruinous habits. Henry flees in terror, but Lorelei, having realized she wants to marry him if she can also work in films, chases him onto the Philadelphia train and persuades him the episode was a playful test using fake jewelry. She proposes that Henry enter the film business to produce morally pure pictures, with Montrose writing scenarios, Henry censoring them, and Lorelei starring. The entire Spoffard family finds roles at the studio. Lorelei and Henry marry in a large society wedding. Dorothy privately tells Montrose that Lorelei would excel in movies if given a part requiring only three expressions: "Joy, Sorrow, and Indigestion" (104). Mr. Eisman arrives and is initially saddened that his educating of Lorelei led to her marrying someone else, but Lorelei consoles him by promising to acknowledge him at the Ritz. She concludes her diary contentedly, declaring that everything always turns out for the best.