Girl Dinner

“Sloane didn’t know many other women in her stage of motherhood. Most of her peers were childless by choice, and her high school and college friends (most of them gently estranged, a side effect of time and maturity) had much older children.”

Sloane is introduced through inner conflict. Having always thought of herself as a dedicated career woman, she is unsure how to resolve The Tensions Between Motherhood, Marriage, and Career. Her acknowledgement that she doesn’t “know many other women in her stage of motherhood” reflects her social isolation, which in turn leaves her more vulnerable to The House’s appeal and promise of “sisterhood.”

“Every girl in this house will go on to become extraordinary.”

The House, as the University’s most exclusive sorority, maintains a distinct mystique on campus. The assertion that “every girl” will “become extraordinary” speaks to the elitism and arrogance of the House members, who tend to think only in terms of what will advance their own interests.

“It might look good to the University for you to be more active outside of just lecturing. They’d have a more compelling reason to install you on a tenure track, if that’s still something you’re set on doing.”

Sloane is quick to point out Max’s positive attributes, but there are signs even early in the narrative that their marriage isn’t perfect. Max is effortlessly less fixated on work-life-balance than Sloane is, and he doesn’t quite make as much of an effort around the house than Sloane does either. Here, he breezily frames the issue of her career success as a hypothetical, ignoring how important her work as a professor has been to Sloane and how difficult of a choice it was to leave her tenure-track position for his sake. His dismissive attitude speaks to the tensions between motherhood, marriage, and career.

“I knew you’d be a perfect fit.”

Priscilla’s work in publishing positions her as someone attuned to the kind of research and writing that Sloane is interested in doing. Her insistence that Sloane can be a “perfect fit” outside of the academic publishing niche speaks to how Priscilla helps to reframe what is possible for Sloane.

“It’s a house, not a cult, you know what I mean?”

This is a moment of dramatic irony, for the House will ultimately be revealed as a kind of cult. It is a secret society of sorts, with each of its members benefitting from the cannibalistic rituals at its core. It is difficult, however, for Nina to see this, so won over is she by the allure of belonging to such an exclusive organization.

“Sloane had never paid much attention to who in her classes was part of the Greek system, a non-issue at her previous college. She considered it a mere signifier of archetypes, not unlike the athletes and cheerleaders who dressed up for game day in high school.”

Here, Sloane notes her tendency to view Greek-affiliated students through the lens of stereotype and bias. Although a former sorority sister herself, Sloane initially reacts to Greek life on campus and The House in particular with suspicion. She prioritizes academics and intellect over what she sees as a problematic set of social traditions and practices. Her isolation and ambition, however, will soon make her a willing participant in The House.

“It was an indispensable fact that no one made Sloane’s life more magical than Isla, and nobody made her life more miserable either.”

This passage speaks to the tensions between motherhood, marriage, and career, as Sloane believes that Isla makes her life both “magical” and yet “miserable.” This seeming paradox speaks to how Sloane loves her daughter, yet often feels entrapped by the pressures of modern motherhood.

“These days, Max was still home on Saturday mornings, but now he used them to watch Formula One races or catch up on his periodicals or otherwise dominate the social spaces in the house, such that he was technically present but not really with them.”

Max is, on the surface, a good husband and father, but his character becomes more problematic as Sloane turns a more critical eye toward him. He does not share her inner conflict over dividing his time between parenting and career: Even at home, he is “technically present but not really with them,” which speaks to his motional disengagement and prioritization of his own interests.

“Instead she focused on Dalil, the pledge sister whom she’d liked right from the beginning, and who was honestly very dry and funny.”

Dalil is characterized not only by her sense of humor, but also by her self-confidence and willingness to maintain her own opinions in the face of The House’s strict social codes. Many of her pledge sisters, Nina included, long to be part of the House’s elite world and are willing to silence some of their more controversial viewpoints in order to fit in. Dalil, by contrast, speaks her mind and does not reshape herself in order to better conform to The House’s standards.

“The Country Wife was proof of several things, one, that the “Good Woman” instinctively knew how to provide. The good woman was an effortless cook; she could throw a meal together with nothing, because her talents were innate.”

The Country Wife, herself a House alumna, exemplifies the “trad wife” trend and represents a backlash against the high-powered “girl boss” era of the early aughts. Sloane realizes that part of The Country Wife’s appeal is that even girl bosses worry about their mothering skills and household managing prowess, but such “trad wife” ideology contains its own impossible pressures, as reflected in her dry reflection that a woman should “throw a meal together with nothing, because her talents were innate”—thereby evading the realities of how much effort, time, and concentrated labor good cooking actually requires.

“The House was both religion and spouse, institution and lover.”

The House becomes an important source of both community and identity for Nina and the other girls. Nina fully buys into the House’s mythology in spite of her sister Jasleen’s protests. The language here, however, speaks to how Jasleen’s warnings are prescient: The loaded language of “religion” and “spouse” speaks to intense, almost mystical commitment, while “institution” and “lover” blends together two concepts that should be kept separate.

“I’m not an anxious person, and I am an ambitious one.”

Here, Britt reveals more of her character during the interview Sloane conducts with her about The House. Britt is, like many of her sorority sisters, driven and unapologetic in her ambition. Her commitment to “girl boss” feminism speaks to the complexities of ambition and ethics.

“It was a constant refrain, Sloane was learning. The theme of safety, The House as the ultimate safe space, in a way that felt like a witch’s house in a fairy tale, something of near-magical significance. Sisterhood, Sloane learned, was a proper noun, as in, the House was a hearth for Sisterhood, where the Women grew into themselves.”

Sisterhood becomes more comforting to Sloane than romantic love. Her language here tends to mirror Nina’s, with the emphasis on the mystical and magical instead of seeing the reality of what The House really is.

“You can’t show a man that you have value. Either he believes it or he doesn’t.”

Alex speaks these lines, revealing her attitude toward gender identity and feminism. She is unapologetic in her desire for career and material success and does not compromise or feel the need to convince anyone of her worth. She argues that women need to seize power themselves and not wait for men to deem them worthy of their esteem or respect.

“All there is in this world is money. Either you make it and use it or someone else will.”

Girl Dinner interrogates “girl boss” feminism in its depiction of women like Alex and Caroline. Caroline speaks these lines, but Alex makes similar statements on multiple occasions. These women posit that it is possible to be a “good woman” and a feminist while manipulating those around them and acting primarily out of a desire for personal gain. They thus adapt patriarchal power structures for their own ends instead of seeking to resolve injustices.

“What you’re tasting is revenge. It’s reprisal. It’s the guys they won’t ban no matter how many abusive assholes kill their wives. It’s the choices they strip from us and the formula they lock up so the babies they forced on us will starve. It’s every time you were called a bitch for saying no and a slut for saying yes.”

Revenge is a common theme in dark academia novels, and narratives like Girl Dinner explore revenge through the lens of feminism and gender-based violence. The women in the House justify their acts of ritualistic killing and consumption in part because of the way that violence helps them further their own goals, but also because of the way they see themselves within the framework of vigilante justice.

“On Monday she had a check-in with Dean Burns. ‘We’re concerned you’re not showing a commitment to this department,’ he said. ‘You rarely come to department events. Your colleagues regularly observe you leaving early.’ ‘I have a child,’ said Sloane, ‘a baby. She’s not even two years old.” ‘Of course, Sloane, we understand that, but Max spends time with the other members of his department and has already published in a journal this semester.’”

This conversation between Sloane and Dean Burns reflects the difficulty Sloane experiences as she tries to address the tensions between motherhood, marriage, and career, but it also illustrates Max’s lack of attention to his family. He is perfectly willing to spend time away from Isla to maintain his status in the department, and Sloane realizes that prioritizing work over family doesn’t bother him.

“What even was a good woman? A good woman was just a good loser, because there was no fucking way to win. You fall in love, you marry someone devoted and interesting, and bam, you’ll somehow turn into your mother, his mother, and every other mother since the dawn of time.”

Sloane fixates on what it means to be a “good woman” throughout much of the novel. Ultimately, she decides that within the contemporary context, it is impossible to be a “good woman,” because to do so requires a woman to devote more energy than she actually has to motherhood and her career. Women are expected to do more work than men and held to higher standards, and Sloane finds this paradigm both unfair and unsustainable.

“I can’t do anything because I can petition my representatives, but they are all paid by billionaires and they don’t care, and I can rant to everyone around me who also doesn’t care, and I can donate money to organizations who try to convince the people who don’t care to care.”

This quote speaks to Jasleen’s characterization. It reveals her commitment to social justice and the fear she feels at the knowledge that she is not likely to have a positive change on the world in her lifetime. It also reflects her fear that real change is not possible since too many people are indifferent to the world’s injustices.

“There was no power in beauty because it still couldn’t grant her a faithful husband.”

Sloane spends much of the novel ruminating on the shape of modern feminism and what it means to be a feminist and a woman in today’s complex world. Here, she notes that in spite of the amount of energy she has put into maintaining her appearance over the years, the end result has not been a faithful husband or a spouse who respects her enough to remain faithful to her. It also reveals how Sloane still tends to interpret aspects of herself or her personhood in terms of what is pleasing to men—she does not value her beauty unless it means Max stays faithful, which shows how she still centers men in her life.

“We must protect our sisterhood as well as nourish it. We do not only eat. We also decide.”

For the women in the House, cannibalism is power. Especially for alumnae like Alex, power and patriarchy so suffuse society that it is impossible for women to play “by the rules” and win. Rather than attempting to share power with their male counterparts or compromise, Alex argues that they must take power whenever they can. Ritualistic killing symbolizes that process, but also reflects how the women buy into domination and power struggles instead of rejecting them.

“Real feminism meant not judging women who led unconventional lifestyles, right?”

This passage speaks to The Changing Shape of Feminism in the Social Media Age. Caroline considers herself a feminist because she uses her skills, talents, and available resources to build a social media empire. Only wealth and success, she argues, can insulated her from society’s inequality. Sloane wrestles with what she thinks of Caroline’s brand of feminism, wondering if her critique of Caroline is actually anti-feminist because it is rooted in judgment.

“Even people who say they love you are just lying through their teeth.”

Fawn speaks these lines at the end of the novel when her sisters have betrayed her, orchestrating a coup to remove her from the House’s presidency. Fawn is part of the novel’s broader interrogation of community and sisterhood. Although The House provides women like Nina and even Sloane with a group of like-minded women, it also becomes the seat of power struggles and convoluted politics, exposing the sisterhood as largely a fraud.