Glow

“‘Am I…a Breaker?’ I ask, and it makes me cry a little harder, because I don’t want to be anything like my father. But I somehow broke the stable wall, and I broke the ground, and these spikes broke through my skin…and I feel like a monster. She shakes her head, gently tipping my chin up. ‘No, Slade. Not you. You don’t break things. You protect them.’”

Slade’s rot power first appears when he is eight years old, and he initially fears that this may mean he is a “Breaker” like his brutal, abusive father. Elore points out the difference in temperament between father and son, insisting that power isn’t defined by dominance, but by the desire to use it in service to others. Her teachings suggest that Slade can choose to defy his father instead of following in his footsteps, introducing The Struggle for Personal Agency in Slade’s character arc.

“You don’t have to be cruel to be strong. You don’t have to be mean to seem brave. You don’t have to look down on others in order to stand tall. Having emotions does not mean you’re weak. It means you’re smart enough to let yourself feel.”

This quote is the companion of the preceding one. Here, Elore expands upon her initial observation that Slade is nothing like his father. Further, she points out that Stanton is the antithesis of what it means to be a strong man. He displays his false sense of power through bluster, swagger, and brutality. His son will do the opposite.

“He’s talking about my power, of course. He knows very well that any time I’m in a public setting, or even a private one, I’m always using my magic. I let it delve out, like a bee seeking pollen. Voices constantly buzz in my head, and I gather the ones I want, collecting them to use whenever I please.”

Kaila has just been speaking to Manu about the best way to frame Midas’s death and who to blame for it. In this quote, she again demonstrates her willingness to abuse her power of capturing voices. She doesn’t merely record what people say; she twists their words to her own advantage, reflecting The Corrupting Influence of Power.

“‘I’ll tell you what you did. You finally broke free and you conquered.’ She stares at me like I’m her lifeline. Like I’m her only hope of not being torn to shreds. But I will always ground her. I will always remind her of who she is. Because I see her.”

Auren is having a difficult time owning her murderous rampage at Ranhold Castle. She initially attempts to suppress the memory of her rage until Slade coaxes her to speak about it. Unlike Auren, Slade has always been encouraged to display the dark side of his power. Auren only used hers to line Midas’s pockets. The destructive force of gold-touch is liberating, but this is a frightening prospect for a girl imprisoned for a decade. Auren’s gold-touch will become a key symbol in the novel, one that reflects The Struggle for Personal Agency she experiences.

“He wants to talk. I can see the agonized words held back in his mouth. I can see the emotions he’s ready to face. But when I snapped back into consciousness in that other cave, those very emotions were too consuming. The memories too raw. I didn’t shove up walls only for my gold and my fae nature. I barricaded everything else too.”

In this statement, Auren makes a distinction between memories of her rampage and memories of the abuse that triggered it. This tactic speaks to The Impacts of Trauma. She doesn’t want to relive the pain of feeling her back mutilated by Midas, but until she confronts her past, she will remain frozen, and forward momentum will stay out of reach.

“That’s the thing with trauma to the body—it shows up instantly. In breaks and bruises, in burns and in blood. But the trauma on the inside, that’s harder to see. It creeps around your mind, poisons you with disquiet. It can hit you out of nowhere, debilitating and ruinous. There are no marks visible for those. None, save the shadows in your eyes.”

Auren is articulating the terror she feels of her inner world. It’s one thing to be rendered helpless by an outside force but quite another to hide from one’s own invasive thoughts. Auren perceives herself to be doubly victimized: Her body bears the marks of trauma, but those marks will heal. She is less optimistic about healing her haunted mind, invoking The Impacts of Trauma on survivors.

“I can choose to stay stagnant here, at the bottom of the cliff, broken and unmoving. I can rage, I can wallow, I can blame, I can hide. I can let the severed parts of me sever all the rest. Or I can get up, dust myself off, and look back up […] So that’s what I’ll do.”

In this quote, Auren reveals that she has reached a turning point in The Struggle for Personal Agency. Notably, this statement doesn’t occur until a quarter of the way through the novel, indicating how much time she has spent immobilized by fear. Auren uses anaphora (“I can . . .”) to list all of the ways she could remain stuck in her fear and sorrow, then changes her list of actions to more active and empowering ones. In vowing to move forward, Auren begins to reclaim her autonomy and agency.

“Memories of that night in Ranhold start to surround me just as much as the cloying steam. The amount of power I felt was indescribable. It seemed to feed something dark in me, seemed to multiply and grow. Having your magic suddenly feel so uncontrollable and foreign can be terrifying in itself, but it wasn’t just the magic. It was me. I lost control.”

Auren wants to move forward but still fears the enemy within, with her feelings about her gold-touch power once more reflecting her feelings about her own agency. She has become alienated from herself, not simply because her fae magic is dangerous, but because she, herself, may be dangerous. Auren’s fear of letting loose something “dark” also distinguishes her from the other power-hungry monarchs of the kingdoms: While they care nothing for destroying others, Auren longs for a power that is constructive instead.

“You’ve always had control. You just need to learn how to wield it. I think you’re scared. I think you’re holding yourself back, and that’s why your gold isn’t coming—because you’re blocking it.”

Slade tries to reason Auren out of her terror. The fact that Slade is also fae and sees her without fear or judgment helps Auren to accept the darker aspects of herself. This passage once more speaks to the links between how Auren feels about her powers and how she feels about The Struggle for Personal Agency that her powers also represent.

“You didn’t fail me. That was on me. For so many years. Would it have been easier and more painless for me if you’d shown up? Yes. But the truth of the matter is, I needed that final straw. I don’t regret it, because I needed to snap. I needed to find my edge.”

Slade has frequently berated himself for failing to save Auren from Midas at the end of the previous book. However, Auren suggests that, if he had done so, she would have remained passive. Instead, she freed herself from abuse in the most violent and dramatic way possible and demonstrated her power to herself. In suggesting that she wants to take care of herself, Auren reiterates her commitment to continuing The Struggle for Personal Agency.

“I was nothing but a road to him. A means to get to where he wanted to go, and I paved that path in gold. Even now, I worry I’ll never really be rid of him. I worry that I’ll still be walked all over.”

While Glow shows Auren taking control of her life for the first time, it also depicts her hesitation. Past conditioning leads her to expect others to treat her as a doormat. She feels a superstitious dread that this pattern will repeat itself in the future. Her fear of others harming or controlling her speaks to The Impacts of Trauma, with her past history of abuse leaving her wary of forming new connections.

“I haven’t put up with his training and his cruelty for nothing. I did it because I think I knew that one day, we would be here. On two sides of the line. I knew it was going to be him or us. And I choose us. So when my rot explodes out of me, it’s seven years’ worth of pent-up retribution.”

In this flashback, Slade is now 15 and has endured seven years of his father’s abuse. In some sense, the explosive confrontation between Slade and Stanton is a parallel to Auren’s rampage after Midas cuts off her ribbons. Both characters vent their frustration by channeling the dark rage inside them, enabling both to assert their agency in the face of abuse and control.

“They’re too arrogant to think Midas was the liar. And anyway, it’s political. If there’s one thing you can always be sure of when it comes to rulers, it’s that they will always try to spin a situation to their advantage.”

Judd makes this observation as Slade’s inner circle considers what to do about Queen Kaila’s rumor mill, highlighting The Corrupting Influence of Power. Blaming Auren for Midas’s death suits Kaila’s plans to take over three kingdoms and eliminates the threat of the royal saddle stealing the queen’s magic. In Orea, truth and justice are irrelevant to rulers bent on acquiring more power for themselves.

“The fae in me has no problem whatsoever with controlling the magic, because it’s inherent. My problem is that I’ve always fought or hidden my magic—and my fae nature. I never embraced it. Never embraced myself.”

Auren is experiencing an identity crisis. Her view of herself was largely created by the way Midas treated her. After seeing the dark power of her gold-touch, she is beginning to realize that it emanates from the core of her being. This is a side of herself that never emerged while she was under Midas’s control. Seeing her true self for the first time frightens her, but also helps her recognize who she really is.

“That is my heart’s greatest desire. I’ve been an unwanted heir, an unwanted wife, an unwanted queen. Yet if I was powerful, nothing like that would ever happen to me again. I’d make sure of it. ‘Yes,’ I breathe. ‘That is what I want.’”

Queen Malina has just been offered power by the twins in exchange for a few drops of her blood. Since she has felt powerless all her life, she is willing to make a devil’s bargain to acquire magic for herself. Power is the name of the game in Orea. Rulers who possess it want more, reinforcing The Corrupting Influence of Power. Those without it will do anything to get it, as Malina has just proven.

“This is your life, Auren. If you wish to stay away from prying eyes, then that’s what we’ll do. But you don’t have to hide here. You are nobody’s pet to be kept. Your life is your own, and the choice is yours.”

Slade and Auren have just landed at the capital of Brackhill. He invites her to make herself at home and do as she pleases. While this statement might be viewed as a conventional statement of welcome from a host to a guest, it carries greater significance for a woman who has never been allowed to follow her own inclinations at any point in her life.

“‘When I say you’re mine, it’s not cheap ownership. I don’t see you as a figure to lock to my arm like a toy to keep away from all others.’ That was the only mine I knew.”

Auren is considering Slade’s statement that they belong to one another. Her thoughts return to the possessiveness that Midas displayed. He enjoyed having a golden “pet” as a status symbol to impress other men. The word “mine” carries an entirely different connotation when true love is involved. In parsing the difference between her dynamic with Slade and the former one she had with Midas, Auren seeks to confront The Impacts of Trauma and experience intimacy in a new way.

“When it comes to the games the monarchs in this world play—me included—it’s about strategy. There are no feelings involved, it’s just about power. How to get it, how to keep it, how to attain more of it. And most of all, how to make sure others don’t have more power than them.”

Slade explains the rules of rulership in Orea to Auren, emphasizing The Corrupting Influence of Power. It also helps to explain Kaila’s need to scapegoat Auren for Midas’s death. Her greatest fear, and the fear of all the other royals, is that Auren may have the capacity to steal their magic. The monarchs’ obsession with power shows how they do not care about justice or the welfare of their people; Glow hence suggests that those who wield power are often the least worthy of doing so.

“You have never had to make hard decisions […] I have always been the one to do that. You just get to sit by with your outbursts and your righteous anger, and tell me what a shit job I’m doing at everything, while you haven’t ever had to carry the load that I carry. And that’s what you don’t get. You’ll never get it.”

Slade is here berating Ryatt for the latter’s latest round of criticism. This quote highlights the antagonistic relationship between the siblings. Ryatt is resentful of living in his elder brother’s shadow. Conversely, Slade is resentful that he must shoulder the burden of rulership alone. Despite their differences, the two form a united front against the abuses of the other royals.

“But if we let King Midas’s death stand without questioning? The people will be incensed. They’ll get dangerous ideas. Whether it’s to kill another royal without consequence or to take it upon themselves to mete out judgment, both of which we don’t want.”

Manu makes this observation when he is trying to convince Auren to attend the Conflux voluntarily. While his advice is self-serving, he does reveal how a king or queen can only maintain control if they have the goodwill of the people to support them. These monarchs, however, are willing to use manipulative propaganda for their own ends: Kaila is a master at spinning stories that will distract her subjects from seeking real answers.

“They can spread their sounds as much as they want. The queen may be a master of words, but I’m an expert at ignoring the clamor. I’m not the type of male to be swayed by sensationalized commotion meant to sway a populace. Rot is silent.”

Slade recognizes that Kaila’s ability to stir up public sentiment against Auren is a formidable weapon. However, he also decides to ignore the gossip. His own power doesn’t depend on sound. It works silently but just as effectively to achieve the outcome he wants. His determination not to be swayed or manipulated reflects The Struggle for Personal Agency in a corrupt political realm.

“And all while I’m being roughly handled, they preach to me about their gods. The ones who reward purity of the flesh and obedience of the mind. The ones who demand self-restraint and sacrifice. They say nothing of the goddesses. Of matronly love or female fortitude.”

Auren makes this statement while under the control of Queen Isolte and her religious fanatics. The distinction between male and female deities is important because Isolte worships a male god who would prohibit her from serving in a priestly role. Women are excluded from religious power in this sect. The moral hypocrisy of the sect and of Isolete herself is emphasized in their mistreatment of Auren.

“After all I did to be free, I’m going to die trapped behind bars anyway, locked in a cage I can’t escape. That’s how cruel life is. It’s almost as if I can feel Midas laughing over my shoulder.”

Throughout the novel, Auren has been haunted by her past. She frequently feels so powerless that she expects to be dominated by one abuser after another, with no way to save herself. This nightmare future nearly becomes her reality at the Conflux, speaking to how The Struggle for Personal Agency in her life is ongoing.