Good Different

This section includes the poems: “More and More,” “During Cleanup Time,” “Do I Want to Stay Here?,” “Things I Learn Online,” and “Checkup.”

Mrs. V pulls Selah aside and apologizes for Principal Merkert’s reaction, shaking her head at the school’s growing list of rules. The teacher points out that Selah can still share her poems on Mrs. V’s classroom bulletin board, and she compliments Selah’s bravery in sharing her poems.

While Noelle and Selah clean together, Noelle asks Selah if the poems were hers. Selah admits they were, arguing that she wasn’t only referring to Mr. S when she described staff ostracizing her. Noelle argues that Mr. S shows that same type of behavior with a lot of students, saying, “[H]e has a whole drawer of stuff / he’s taken” (261). Selah then admits that Principal Merkert doesn’t want to let her come back to Pebblecreek, and this news angers Noelle. When Noelle asks whether Selah wants to stay at Pebblecreek, Selah hesitates, wondering if what she wants matters to anyone.

Selah considers her mother and Pop’s opposing remarks about Pebblecreek, trying to figure out what she wants for herself. She wants to go someplace that gives her the help she needs, but she must first figure out what she needs help with. After doing some research, she figures out that she can be evaluated for autism, and if she is diagnosed, she will be able to request accommodations. While reading, she realizes that Mr. S was wrong for taking her tools, but she also understands that she must advocate for herself and cannot simply wait for people to understand her. Selah researches different types of schools, and while some sound great, none of them seem like a better fit than Pebblecreek. However, she also learns that schools are legally required to accommodate different needs. She learns about the neurodiversity movement and realizes that with environmental adjustments, a neurodivergent person can thrive in the world.

At her checkup, Selah tells the doctor about her tendency to get overstimulated and asks if she might be on the autism spectrum. Her mother tries to brush off the question, but the doctor takes Selah seriously, taking notes and saying that many girls on the spectrum go unnoticed and remain undiagnosed. When Sue pushes back that Selah doesn’t “look autistic,” the doctor counters that autism presents as a spectrum of behaviors. The doctor refers them to a specialist and says that even if Selah does not have autism, the specialist may be able to help with her overwhelm.

This section includes the poems: “Asking,” “‘Fine,’” “Rules,” “Help,” “I Finally Make Myself Tell Mom,” “Mom Cries,” “All I Hear Is,” and “Damage.”

Selah asks for a cushion for her desk chair at school; using the cushion helps her to stay seated and focused. However, when she briefly leaves her seat, Ezra takes her spot and accuses her of receiving special treatment. Mr. S listens to the hostile exchange but does nothing to intervene. Selah reflects, “I know he’s thinking / the same things Ezra’s saying” (270). His inaction makes Selah worry about what will happen if she requests additional accommodations. On the way home, her mother asks how her day was, and Selah claims to be fine even though this is untrue. She wonders how her mother is feeling but does not ask.

Selah reflects on the fact that Pebblecreek’s rules once gave her a sense of clarity, but now, she feels increasingly excluded by them. She thinks about what her future at Pebblecreek might look like compared to the possibility of leaving. Exhausted by the constant need to mask her true self, she asks her mother if she can schedule an appointment with an autism specialist. Sue refuses, insisting that Selah needs to prove that she is “just like any other kid” (275). Selah argues that a diagnosis could help her; if she were formally diagnosed with autism, she could request accommodations at school. Sue asks what accommodations Selah could possibly need, prompting Selah to finally admit that she only hit Addie because she became overwhelmed.

When Selah finishes, Sue begins to cry and apologizes for “damaging” her. Selah interprets this as proof that something is “wrong” with both of them. Sue realizes from Selah’s expression that her words were hurtful, but Selah’s thoughts spiral. She feels like an outsider again and wonders whether she should hold even tighter to her self-imposed rules. The most painful realization for Selah is that her mother sees herself as damaged.

This section includes the poems: “Set,” “Love,” “When I Don’t Say Anything,” “Toss and Turn,” “After Googling: Why Do People Call Other People Damaged?,” “Poem for Mom,” and “I Slip the Poem.”

Selah locks herself in her room and spirals into worry, wondering whether her father was similar to her and Sue or whether he left because they were “too damaged.” Near her bedtime, she notices Pop walking toward the house. She opens her window and tells him it is not a good time to visit and that he should ask before coming over. Pop is surprised by her tone and reminds her that they are family. He says he liked the poem she wrote for him and tells her that she is brave. He compares her to his late wife and says, “You got guts, kiddo” (286). Selah admits that she is confused and asks why her father left. Pop responds with a metaphor about trains and says that he never liked Selah’s father, Donald. Selah then asks whether Pop has ever told Sue how much he loves her. He insists that his actions make it obvious, though he looks uncertain. Selah says nothing in reply, and Pop tells her that he will come back the next day.

That night, Selah cannot sleep, and her thoughts continue to spiral. She researches why someone might call another person “damaged,” finding explanations such as a lack of understanding or a sense of inconvenience. Selah realizes that she does not feel damaged and wants others to understand that. She writes a poem to Sue, asking her not to use that word anymore and explaining that she likes her mother just the way she is. Selah also describes the parts of herself that she loves, including many of her intense sensory experiences. She explains, “I love how the wind / makes me lose my breath […] and how alive / the woods smell” (295). She thanks her mother for defending her and acknowledges that everyone chooses the wrong words sometimes. She ends the poem with love and slides it under her mother’s bedroom door. Only then is she able to fall asleep.

This section includes the poems: “Waiting Room,” “After the Appointment,” “Cleo,” “Letter,” “Brave,” “Since I Sent That Poem,” “Poem for Addie,” “The Rest of the Class,” “Different,” and “Cats.”

Sue takes Selah to meet with a specialist. In the waiting room, Selah notices the diversity of people present, which makes her feel less alone. After the appointment, Selah receives an autism diagnosis. Sue is also given information and realizes that she, too, has autism. She says, “I didn’t think it had a name. / I just thought everyone was like us” (300).

Selah attends another sleepover at Noelle’s house and enjoys herself this time. She wants to talk with the group, but Cleo gets rowdy and begins a pillow fight, striking Selah with a pillow. Selah freezes, not wanting to hit Cleo back. Noelle defends her, but Cleo persists in her unpleasant behavior, questioning why Noelle invited Selah at all. Finally, Selah finds her voice and asks why Cleo spends time with them if she doesn’t even like them. Her question silences Cleo.

Later, when her neighbors throw another loud party, Selah writes them a letter and leaves it in their mailbox. As she is doing so, a woman walking her dog stops Selah, asking curtly if she lives at the house. Selah explains that she is leaving the residents of the house a note. The woman softens, saying that she is also bothered by the neighbors. She calls Selah brave and suggests that together, they might be able to address the issue. Although the poem does not change the neighbors’ behavior, Selah still feels better for having expressed herself.

Realizing that she still needs to apologize to Addie, Selah writes the girl a poem explaining what happened and why she hit her. She slips the note into Addie’s desk during lunch. At the end of the day, Addie approaches her and apologizes for accidentally hurting Selah, explaining that she only braided her hair because she thought it was a kind gesture. Selah realizes that Addie’s “annoying” habits are actually signs of friendship. When Addie asks why Selah is always so quiet, Selah laughs, recognizing that her quietness is no stranger than Addie’s talkative habits. Addie compares Selah to her cat, and Selah agrees. Addie adds that she wishes more people were like cats.

This section includes the poems: “Pop Comes Over to the House before Dinner,” “Visiting Mrs. V,” “In the Middle of English Class,” “My Case for Me,” “When Mrs. V Finishes,” “When Class Ends,” “Different than Us,” “When School Ends,” “It Starts,” “Noelle Finds Me Standing in the Hall,” “On My Desk, A Note,” “Mrs. V Was Right,” “In the Hallway After School,” “My Favorite Part,” “The Dragon in My Chest,” “Accommodations,” and “Selah’s New Rules.”

Pop visits Selah with a new dragon shirt and praises her poetry. Encouraged, Selah later approaches Mrs. V at school and says she would like to try sharing her poems again. During class, Mrs. V asks if Selah would be willing to share one of her pieces, and Selah agrees—on the condition that Mrs. V read it aloud. The poem, titled “My Case for Me,” describes Selah’s sensory sensitivities and her efforts to appear “Normal.” She reveals her autism diagnosis and explains that it means she is different but not wrong. She ends the poem by saying that she does not want to trade who she is for the appearance of “Normal.” The class applauds, and a student asks whether the poems posted around school were hers. Selah admits that they were. After class, Addie asks for a copy of one of the poems, and Selah, who has memorized it, writes it down for her. Before leaving for the day, Selah posts the poem on Mrs. V’s bulletin board; she knows that doing so could get her expelled, but she refuses to live in fear.

In the days that follow, more poems begin appearing on the bulletin board—though they are not written by Selah. The principal removes them daily, but students continue posting new ones until the walls become covered. One day, Selah finds an anonymous note at her desk, apologizing and calling her brave. Students begin spending their lunches reading and discussing the poetry displayed throughout the school, and Selah no longer feels alone.

When Addie’s mother returns to the school to complain about Selah’s continued enrollment, Addie defends Selah and states that her mother is being “unreasonable.” When her mother argues that Selah is a safety concern, Addie turns the statement around, saying, “Pebblecreek is only / unsafe / if you’re scared / of kids / like Selah” (330). The room falls silent. Selah thinks of the ending of How to Train Your Dragon, when the people of Berk learn to live in harmony with dragons. She finally feels free to be herself.

Sue formally requests school accommodations for Selah, and Mrs. V joins the meeting. Before entering, Selah tells Sue that it is okay if they cry. Selah writes a new list of rules for herself, resolving that she will speak up for herself, avoid assuming the worst in others, ask for help when she needs it, face her fears, and continue writing and being herself.

In the Author’s Note, Kuyatt reflects on her lifelong sense of being “different” and explains that her experiences ultimately led to her autism diagnosis in adulthood. As a child, adults described her as quirky, attributing her behaviors and intense interests to her personality rather than to neurodivergence. Although she did not speak until almost age three, she was evaluated only for hearing issues and was placed in speech therapy; autism was never considered.

Because she grew up as an only child in a calm household, Kuyatt was generally able to recharge in time to avoid becoming overstimulated. However, when she went to college, the constant noise and lights and the lack of personal space resulted in anxiety, overwhelm, and severe sleep difficulties. After reading a book featuring a protagonist with autism, she began to reassess her childhood and to research other people’s experiences. Everything “clicked,” and she recognized autistic traits in herself. Receiving a formal diagnosis helped her to better understand her needs and gave her a sense of validation similar to Selah’s experience in the novel.

Kuyatt explains that autism is often misdiagnosed or overlooked in women and girls because diagnostic criteria were originally based on men and boys only. In girls who have autism, sensory issues, emotional intensity, and social challenges are frequently mislabeled as anxiety or eating disorders, especially because many such girls are taught to mask their differences and can often appear neurotypical at first glance. In the author’s experience, her masking led people to tell her, “You’re too normal … there’s nothing wrong with you” (338). Problematic statements such as these reflect common misconceptions about autism, since the indicators of the neurotype are often framed in terms of external behavior, and the person’s inner experiences are often erased and ignored. The author emphasizes the fact that autism presents differently from person to person, and she also notes the growing recognition of genetic links within families, as illustrated by the similarities between Pop, Sue, and Selah in the novel. She also describes her generation as a “lost generation” of adults who were not diagnosed with autism until later in life.

Kuyatt stresses that autism should not be viewed solely as a deficit. While she acknowledges that challenges do exist, she also contends that individuals with autism often possess meaningful strengths such as focus, passion, fairness, loyalty, and honesty. She expresses personal pride and joy in her autistic identity, crediting it with shaping her creativity and relationships, and she encourages others who suspect that they may have autism to seek professional evaluation. Ultimately, she hopes that Selah’s story helps to dismantle harmful assumptions and broadens people’s understanding of the autism spectrum.