Him

The novel is a contemporary romance told in alternating first-person perspectives by two college hockey players whose friendship, long rupture, and reunion give way to a love neither of them planned.

Ryan Wesley (Wes) is a cocky, tattooed senior center and leading scorer at Northern Mass, heading to the NHL after graduation. His sexuality is an open secret on the team, though he avoids publicizing it. During a film session in April, his coach screens footage of Rainier College's standout goalie, and Wes recognizes the player: Jamie Canning, his former best friend from Elites, a prestigious summer hockey camp in Lake Placid, New York, where they roomed together for six consecutive summers beginning at age 13. Wes cut off all contact with Jamie nearly four years ago without explanation, and he now dreads seeing him, acknowledging that Jamie was the first person he ever loved.

Jamie, a laid-back Californian from a large, loving family, lies in bed with Holly, his friends-with-benefits partner, reflecting on the same approaching collision. He has never understood why Wes stopped returning his calls. Both men recall the pivotal last day of their final camp summer: Wes challenged Jamie to a shootout, staking that the loser would give the winner a blowjob. Jamie won and planned to lord the debt over Wes as a joke. Instead, that was the last day of their friendship.

When both teams arrive at a Boston hotel for the NCAA Frozen Four championship, Wes revives their old gag-gift tradition by leaving a box of kitten-printed boxers outside Jamie's door. Jamie recognizes Wes's handwriting and texts him for the first time in nearly four years. They meet at the hotel bar and fall back into their old rhythm, easing years of silence.

Through an extended flashback, the novel reveals their last night at camp. Wes produced whiskey and steered the evening toward physical contact, eventually suggesting Jamie collect on the bet. Jamie, aroused and caught up in the moment, dared him to go through with it. Wes gave Jamie a blowjob, driven not by a dare but by genuine desire: He had spent the previous year wrestling with his attraction to men and had been in love with Jamie.

Rainier loses its semifinal. When Wes stops by to commiserate, he finds Jamie shirtless with Holly and retreats, assuming she is his girlfriend. Northern Mass wins the championship, but Wes cannot celebrate. He calls Pat, the Elites camp director, and accepts a coaching position, motivated by the desire to be near Jamie.

In June, Jamie is already coaching at Elites when Wes arrives as his surprise new roommate. During a run, Wes comes out as gay and apologizes for pushing Jamie into the encounter four years earlier. Jamie is furious, not about the blowjob or Wes's sexuality, but about being abandoned without explanation. That night, Wes admits he was afraid Jamie would hate him. They catch up on lost time, and Wes reveals his strained relationship with his wealthy, emotionally distant parents, who dismissed his coming out as a phase before his father called him disgusting. Jamie tells Wes he could never hate him, and they reconcile.

Over the following weeks, the two rediscover their dynamic while undercurrents of attraction build. One evening at a local bar, a man named Sam from Brandr, a gay hookup app, flirts with Wes, and Jamie grows jealous. Outside in a rainstorm, Jamie grabs Wes and kisses him. Wes kisses back but breaks away, insisting they cannot repeat the past.

That night, Jamie, sober and deliberate, initiates a sexual encounter, telling Wes he needs to determine whether his attraction is real. Over the following days, Jamie privately confirms his attraction to both men and women, accepting that he is bisexual. Their relationship deepens, culminating in penetrative sex that Wes approaches with intense tenderness and unspoken love.

When Holly visits camp unannounced, Jamie tells her there is someone else. Wes, jealous, meets Sam for a drink but tells him he is unavailable. They argue that night, each accusing the other of straying, only to realize neither was unfaithful. They agree to be exclusive for the summer, with the understanding that the relationship ends when they leave for their respective NHL training camps.

A confrontation with an anti-gay parent shakes both men. At a gas station, a man witnesses Wes give Jamie a kiss on the cheek and mutters a slur. During parents' weekend, the same man turns out to be the father of Mark Killfeather, Jamie's star goalie camper. He accuses Pat of employing "perverts." Pat defends his coaches, and Wes forces the man to describe what he actually saw, diminishing the accusation. Killfeather's father pulls his son from camp. Jamie is heartbroken and rattled by his first encounter with open bigotry.

The incident crystallizes Jamie's feelings. He acknowledges he is bisexual and can envision a future with Wes. Jamie has also grown disillusioned with his NHL future, dreading Detroit as a third-string goalie and finding greater fulfillment in coaching. Pat secures him an interview for an assistant coaching position with a junior hockey team in Toronto, the same city where Wes will play. Jamie shares the opportunity with Wes, hoping they can stay together. Wes refuses, insisting that being outed as a gay rookie could destroy his career. Jamie goes for a run; when he returns, Wes has packed and left without saying goodbye, repeating his pattern of abandonment.

Jamie flies home to California. At a family dinner, his brother Scott describes his own breakup and says he has no regrets because he told his ex-girlfriend how he felt. Jamie realizes he never told Wes he loved him and resolves to do so. In Toronto, Wes signs a lease on a condo and gets a tattoo of Lake Placid's coordinates on his wrist.

Jamie travels to Toronto, accepts the coaching job, and comes out to Holly as bisexual over the phone. Unable to reach Wes by phone, Jamie downloads Brandr, creates a profile under the name "PurpleSkittle," a nod to Wes's favorite candy, and messages him. They meet in Wes's empty apartment, where Jamie tells him he fell in love with him and that Wes's assumption that Jamie was merely experimenting is wrong. Wes, in tears, admits he wants both Jamie and hockey. They agree to be together, discreet for the rookie season and open by the following June. Wes asks Jamie to move in, and Jamie says yes.

During training camp, Wes discloses his relationship to the team's publicist, Frank. Frank reveals the organization already knew about Wes's orientation from pre-draft vetting; his college coach had informed them to ensure Wes ended up with a supportive team. A press release is already prepared. The weight Wes has carried lifts.

In August, Jamie moves in and posts a photo with Wes to his family's private Facebook group. The Cannings respond with warmth, his mother Cindy asking when Jamie is bringing Wes to Sunday dinner. Wes is moved by the contrast with his own parents' rejection.

The epilogue takes place at Thanksgiving in California. Wes's NHL career is off to a strong start, and he has scored his first career goal. Cindy gives the couple matching handmade mugs reading "HIS," inscribing Wes's with a message welcoming him to the family. Wes briefly calls his own father, who ends the conversation in under a minute, underscoring the void of his biological family. Jamie places a steadying hand on Wes's back, and Wes reflects that home is not a place but a person.