In “Home Burial,” Amy desires to escape her trauma by leaving the house, her husband, and possibly her marriage. The husband on the other hand wants her to expunge her grief so she can stay in the house and the marriage. The physical actions and statements of both characters enhance their different desires and add to the tension of the poem.

Amy wants to leave the location where the tragedy happened because she is constantly reminded of it due to the view of the cemetery through the window. Given the time period, it is likely that Amy’s child was born and died in the house itself. We know the small body rested in the “darkened parlor” (Line 100). The house is filled with triggers for grief, which Amy is desperate to escape. As her husband tries to talk about each of their reactions to the death, Amy ducks under his arm and descends the staircase. Throughout the poem, she fiddles with the door latch. That Amy has not been communicating well with her husband is clarified by his comment, made twice, that he doesn’t want her to go “to someone else this time” (Lines 41, 60).

Grieving his child, the husband is terrified he will lose his wife as well. Out of desperation, his actions are often intimidating. He “advanc[es] toward her” (Line 6) on the staircase, “[m]ounting” (Line 11) the steps. He takes the son’s death as a natural tragedy and doesn’t connect his loss with the home. He states, “I never noticed [the family cemetery] from here before. / I must be wonted to it” (Lines 22-23). His return to everyday life, which Amy can’t comprehend, is a comfort to him. He wants her to return there as well, saying, “Let me into your grief” (Line 62), to secure them as a couple. 

In her confession that she can’t get over the grave-digging, Amy physically opens the front door, suggesting that she might step over the threshold. He listens to her, relieved she has spoken and is physically showing her grief with tears. He notes, “You won’t go now. […] Close the door” (Line 113), which shows his desire to keep her there and his faith that they can work it out. This uneasy truce is ruined by his panicked cry, “There’s someone coming down the road!” (Line 115). Amy takes this to mean he sees her grief as an embarrassment, but it could very well be that the husband sees this person visiting as a threat against the hope of reconnecting with his wife. Amy could go out to them and receive support and comfort from them, just like the “someone else” (Line 41, Line 60) she previously told her troubles to. This would carry her away from their house, burying their love as surely as their son.

The husband grows desperate to make her stay, and as she pushes the door further open, he claims he will “follow and bring [her] back by force” (Line 120). For him, the threat lurks in forces outside the house, including other, potentially more comforting people, while for Amy the threat is inside the house, where every space reminds her of grief.