Hopeless

“But he’s still the town prince, and I’m still the town trash. He’s the hero, and I’m the bartender. He’s an Eaton, and I’m a Jansen. And yet, he’s here every damn day since the afternoon he walked in looking like a caged animal who broke free.”

Bailey Jansen compares herself to Beau because she feels limited by how people see her. Like Beau, she is also combating reputational stigma in a small-town community. While someone like Beau is seen as a “prince” and a “hero,” Bailey has learned to regard herself as “trash.” Her self-deprecation is the result of her family history in the place and underscores how limited she feels in Chestnut Springs. The moment also introduces her and Beau’s relationship as an opposites-attract romance.

“I’m drawn to Bailey through the crowd like a magnet. Or maybe I’ve just become the new miserable regular who sits on a stool waiting for her to finish work. Like a sad puppy dog. But she talks to me like no one else does. About inane things. And sometimes we’re just quiet together. And that quiet is comfortable.”

The Railspur setting offers Beau and Bailey an organic place to get to know each other. Bailey is bartending, and Beau is a customer, but they are able to spend time together without expectation. Beau uses the simile of “a sad puppy dog” to describe himself, but Bailey does not judge him for his moodiness. She offers him a sense of safety and comfort that he has never felt with anyone else. The Railspur setting helps the two establish trust and intimacy at the start of their relationship.

“He’s always been handsome, but the swagger right now, the glint in his eye…the way he leapt to my protection. He’s mouth-watering in a way that has heat pooling low in my belly. And for a beat, I let myself stare. I let myself bask in the knowledge he just blew up for me. To protect me.”

Bailey’s internal monologue in this passage conveys her interest in and attraction to Beau. She uses diction like “handsome” and “swagger” to capture Beau’s confidence and Bailey’s curiosity about him. The two aren’t yet involved, but this passage foreshadows how their relationship will develop.

“Even if I could get the job back, I don’t want to work in a place where people see me that way. Don’t you get it? That’s how I’m perceived here. The Railspur is the only place that doesn’t feel that way, thanks to the fact that none of the workers are local. That’s why I’ll leave as soon as I’ve saved up enough to pay a year’s rent.”

Bailey opens up to Beau about her work at The Railspur and her reputation in town, showing vulnerability that invites Beau into her life. She speaks in an honest and open way about difficult topics. She feels she can trust Beau and thus does not disguise how hard her life has been in Chestnut Springs. This scene of dialogue reiterates the novel’s theme of combating reputational stigma in a small-town community while conveying Bailey’s longing for acceptance.

“He’s always been a flirt—a showboat—and it’s nice to get a peek at that side of him. It feels good to be the one who can bring it out in him, but if I’m going to go through with this bet, I’ll need to keep reminding myself that we’re pretending. And that Eatons don’t mix with Jansens.”

Bailey and Beau’s fake engagement arrangement creates internal conflict for Bailey. She likes the idea of spending time with someone as intriguing and charming as Beau, but she also fears that her feelings for him will develop in a way she can’t control. She still sees herself the way the town sees her and thus fears how others will judge her and Beau’s dynamic.

“And I always feel like I need to save him. It’s irrelevant that I did save him. My brain takes me back to that feeling of pure helplessness, the eternal high alarm with no reprieve. While we were camped out in that cave for two weeks, I suppressed those emotions, but they haunt me now.”

During this intimate scene, Beau opens up to Bailey about his nightly nightmare. He is showing her vulnerability for the first time and articulating the intensity of his lingering psychological distress. From this scene on, 2:11 am will be a time when Beau and Bailey come together and share intimate details from their personal lives.

“I step out of my truck and turn on the spot, taking in what appears to be a sprinkling of her belongings all over the dirt ground. Clothes, makeup, jewelry, papers. When I finally come to face her again, she’s holding a stuffed horse that looks so well loved, it’s coming apart at the seams. Except it doesn’t need to anymore. There’s a slash down the side of it. Bailey’s eyes lock with mine while her hands continue trying to shove the stuffing back into it.”

Beau finds Bailey in a moment of distress and rushes in to help. The image of Bailey’s things scattered all over the dirt conveys her brothers’ disrespect for her. The image of her clutching the stuffed horse conveys her vulnerability and fear. She is holding a child’s toy as if for comfort. The horse is also slashed down its side, which mirrors how Bailey feels—like a vulnerable child who has been attacked and taken advantage of. Beau is witnessing her at her worst, which ignites his protective nature.

“I gaze down. Next to each other, my feet look so fucked-up where hers are so…perfect. Aesthetically, I don’t care. Kinda figured being a soldier would scar me along the way. It’s the contrast that strikes me, though. And it’s more than just our skin.”

Beau compares his feet to Bailey’s, which underscores the differences between the two characters. Their age gap, opposites-attract dynamic makes them an unlikely pair. While Beau’s feet are covered in scars, Bailey’s are “perfect.” His scarred feet become a metaphor for everything he has been through: He has been touched by the outside world and fears that he is not good enough for someone as innocent as Bailey. This moment conveys one of Beau’s insecurities about pursuing a real relationship with Bailey.

“It hits me hard that she’s scared. This poor fucking girl. She’s dreading walking into a store because someone was so mean to her several years ago that she still can’t face them. I slide an arm around Bailey’s rigid figure and lean down over her again. She curls into my body the same way she did the other night, like she can hide behind me. Like she feels safe with me.”

Beau and Bailey’s outing to the shoe store underscores how trapped Bailey is in Chestnut Springs. Beau’s first-person point of view provides insight into and perspective on how the town’s cruelty to her has impacted her. She looks “scared” and is filled with “dread.” Her body curls into Beau as if she is trying to hide. She is performing self-protective mannerisms, shielding herself physically from the emotional blows of others’ judgment.

“Fantasy and reality, so close yet still so far apart. Yet here is that house, that man. They’re right there. And they’re real. And here I am, trying to convince myself I don’t deserve them, Teenage me would be horrified. I guess it’s with her in mind that I get up off the step.”

Bailey questions herself in relation to Beau. She is drawn to him but intentionally pulls away. Her behavior conveys her fear of letting herself be happy. She has learned that she is undeserving of kindness and contentment through the town’s treatment of her. The image of her moving “up off the step” shows her work to change. She wants to exercise her agency and follow her heart. Moving toward the house and accepting Beau’s offer to stay in his AC is the first step she takes toward doing so.

“At 2:11, we’re both haunted. Me by the way I felt captured in his hold, coming apart above him while he whispered my name against my hair. Him by…well, I’m not entirely sure. But I can guess. Either way, I want to rewrite 2:11 into something different for us. We’re stuck together in this little arrangement, and it doesn’t need to be this awkward.”

Bailey’s decision to reinvent what 2:11 am means to Beau is a manifestation of her love. After witnessing firsthand how Beau’s trauma is continuing to impact him, she is eager to help him move beyond his pain. She and Beau are only fake dating, but she still takes their arrangement as an opportunity to help Beau. The moment furthers the novel’s theme of the Transformative Power of Love.

“The two of us, in the water together, stripped down in more ways than one. One of my biggest struggles is going from feeling so needed, so important, so integral to a mission to…not. But with Bailey, I feel like she needs me, and I need her.”

Beau’s relationship with Bailey gradually changes how he sees himself. Since returning from combat, he has lacked a definite sense of purpose. In the context of Bailey, Beau can conceptualize a new version of himself, and their physical nakedness is a metaphor for their vulnerability. She makes him feel needed while also allowing him to have needs. Their reciprocal dynamic leads to Beau’s personal transformation over time.

“I almost laugh. We both know what’s going on here. Age difference be damned. Bet be damned. Bailey and I like each other. We want each other. But we both know we shouldn’t complicate things when this agreement has a pretty firm end date. There’s a pretty obvious parting of ways on the horizon. One that doesn’t feel very amusing at all.”

Beau’s internal monologue captures his intensifying feelings for Bailey. He uses short, clipped sentences that affect an assertive tone. He is owning his feelings for Bailey for the first time and beginning to acknowledge what she means to him. At the same time, their fake engagement complicates Beau’s ability to fully invest in Bailey. He fears that their arrangement is limiting what they could be to each other, or that his feelings might overstep Bailey’s desires.

“I stay slumped against the doorframe, boneless and stunned from his kiss. It wasn’t my first kiss, but it was my first kiss to feel like that. Like the house could crumble around us and we wouldn’t notice. Like I was safe.”

Bailey and Beau’s first real kiss alters the stakes of their relationship. Until this scene, the two have only been intimate in public—a dynamic they agreed upon to satisfy the parameters of their fake engagement. After Beau kisses her in private of his own volition, Bailey is overcome by emotion. Her use of repetition and metaphor captures her attempts to orient to this new relational reality. The image of the house crumbling around them implies how powerful their love for each other could be.

“I mull the question over, telling myself I should leave while admitting to myself I’m not sure why I think I need to. Is it because she’s younger? Is it because I’ve become borderline obsessed with helping her and I worry that this will all just hurt her in the end? Or am I worried it will hurt me in the end? I don’t know if I can handle being hurt anymore.”

Beau’s string of questions affects a searching tone. He is determined to engage with Bailey in a respectful, careful manner. He does not want to push Bailey or to overstep the boundaries of their fake engagement. At the same time, he is unsure if his behaviors are guided by fear. His self-interrogation conveys his integrity. He does not act impulsively on his feelings without first inspecting the possible repercussions of doing so.

“There’s something fractured about Beau. About his spirit. Like he’s torn between so many versions of himself and doesn’t know which one to pick. I wish he knew it’s okay to be all of them with me.”

Bailey’s regard for Beau conveys her deep interest in and attunement to him. She can see Beau for who he is and all the complexity he holds. She never forces him to perform one identity and rather champions his “versions” and even his dichotomies. Her love for Beau ultimately facilitates his Journey Toward Self-Discovery and Autonomy, another of the novel’s primary themes.

“Excitement dancing in her eyes, a warm blush on her cheeks, a casual smile on her lips. Conversation hums and bass thumps around us, and all I can do is nod. Because I don’t know if I’m good, but I’m realizing she is. It’s hitting me she can’t stay in Chestnut Springs, and I would never want her to. How could anyone want to keep her there when she blossoms into this vibrant woman the minute she’s away?”

Beau and Bailey’s night out in the city grants Beau needed perspective on who Bailey is and what she needs to be happy. Watching her dance at the club, he sees Bailey in a new light and is able to understand the true detriment of keeping her in Chestnut Springs. His use of diction like “warm,” “blush,” “blossoms,” and “vibrant” conveys Bailey’s ease of movement and spirit in this new setting. She is uninhibited when she isn’t combating reputational stigma in a small-town community, which is what Beau wants for her on a daily basis.

“Finally, Jasper speaks. But it’s in that quintessentially Jasper way, quiet and introspective, like he’s thought out every single word before they even leave his lips. ‘Right. But it would have been worse to spend my life wondering what would have happened if I told her. Or wishing I had.’”

Beau’s best friend Jasper Gervais offers him perspective on and guidance through his relationship with Bailey. Jasper is the only person Beau trusts and feels comfortable confiding in. He knows Jasper will be direct with him. Jasper’s words help Beau to consider his and Bailey’s dynamic from a new angle and accept what he truly wants from their relationship. The friends’ dialogue compels Beau to profess his feelings to Bailey in the subsequent chapters.

“‘I’m done pretending to be head over heels in love with you because I’m legitimately head over heels in love with you. And acting like I’m not tears me up.’ I grip his wrists, squeezing so I can assure myself that he’s real. That this moment is real. Because it feels distinctly unbelievable.”

Beau’s profession of love subverts the parameters of his and Bailey’s fake engagement. The arrangement was meant to facilitate Bailey’s personal transformation and to give her more opportunities; in reality, it has opened Beau’s heart to the possibilities of a long and lasting love. He comes out with his feelings because love has changed what he wants for himself and what he wants to give Bailey. This moment marks a pivotal turning point in his and Bailey’s romance as well as Beau’s character arc.

“You don’t tell a person you love them with the expectation they’ll say it back. You tell them because you want to. You tell them because it’s true. I spent many hours in a cave in Afghanistan wishing I’d told more people how much they meant to me. I promised myself I would start, but I’ve been too hung up on my shit to get around to it. That ends now.”

Beau’s past experiences offer him insight into his relationship with Bailey. Historically, Beau has been reluctant to articulate his feelings to others, but the war changed him. He repeatedly tells Bailey how much he loves her because these words are true and because he wants to. His willingness to be vulnerable conveys his authenticity of spirit and investment in changing.

“She needs to get out of this town, and soon. We both know it. We just don’t talk about it. I don’t pretend to know how much money she needs to save up to pull the pin, but I suspect there’s a level of nerves that accompany her plan. Wanting to leave, but also afraid of starting fresh. I worry I’m holding her back.”

Beau’s internal monologue conveys his ongoing investment in Bailey’s journey toward self-discovery and autonomy. Although Beau wishes that he and Bailey could make a life together in Chestnut Springs, he is also reluctant to “hold her back.” He is committed to doing anything he can to facilitate her liberation, including stepping out of her way.

“I’m hurt. I’m embarrassed. I feel foolish that I let myself believe someone could love me so honestly. And yet, I ache for him. I only want him. His arms. His words. His smell. I know it’s the only thing that will make me feel better, but…I’m furious.”

Bailey’s emotional response to Beau’s revelation about The Railspur conveys her deep longing for autonomy and freedom. She feels “hurt,” “embarrassed,” and “foolish” because Beau’s lie of omission has skewed her understanding of reality and of herself. At the same time, her upset is paired with longing and desire. She still loves Beau despite her frustration with him; these competing emotions capture the complexity of her and Beau’s dynamic.

“It’s a kick in the pants. Wake up, Beau. You’re not the same person you used to be. The class clown, the shiny happy hero. Now you’re a mere mortal, like the rest of us. One who makes dumb mistakes. One who doesn’t get everything handed over to him easily.”

Jasper acts as Beau’s archetypal guide, offering Beau advice and counsel when he is unable to perceive himself or his reality accurately. Jasper does not mince words, and instead, he confronts Beau about his future with Bailey in a direct, raw manner. His words also convey how loving Bailey has changed Beau; he is now “a mere mortal” who will have to make decisions to get what he wants instead of having “everything handed over to him.”