How I Live Now

Daisy marvels that her math teacher’s formulas for traveling with extra weight are finally applicable to her life. She and Piper continue to travel along footpaths and pass over a road, but they don’t see any other people. They do see a road sign for Strup, but the town isn’t on the map. Piper thinks that it might be unmarked because it is so small. This issue combines with the stress of the journey and causes Daisy to break down crying. Piper holds her hand until she calms down. They continue on, find an apple tree, and stop to eat. Piper suddenly hears the river that runs past her house. Because this river also runs past the farm where Edmond and Isaac are located, the girls are excited to realize that they can follow the river straight toward their goal.

With lifted spirits, they wash up in the river and camp nearby. Daisy is shocked at how skinny Piper is, and while they bathe, she notes all the cuts, scrapes, and bruises that the two of them have accumulated. The following day, they know exactly where they are on the map and how to get home, and they also know how to find Edmond and Isaac. When Daisy realizes this, she cries. The house is 20 miles away, and Daisy remembers doing a march for poverty that was 22 miles in a day. She is excited to psychically connect with Edmond and tell him where they are that night.

Following the river makes traveling much easier, and they can more accurately ration their remaining food. Piper finds mushrooms that she believes are edible. Daisy isn’t sure, but she decides to trust Piper, and they cook the mushrooms over a fire with some salami. Piper is entranced by the flames, and Daisy almost becomes entranced as well, but she snaps out of it and takes over the cooking. As Daisy eats, she admits that she has been starving. Piper says she has also been famished, but Daisy internally reflects that she has a different kind of hunger than Piper’s.

Daisy wakes up in the middle of the night and sees that Piper is awake. Piper looks terrified and starts repeatedly screaming “Stop!”. Daisy grabs her and muffles her scream, afraid that someone will hear them. When all is quiet, Daisy hears voices screaming in the distance and starts begging for it to stop as well. Piper curls up in a fetal position, and when Daisy tries to touch her, she starts kicking and hitting Daisy. To block out the noise of the screams, Daisy hums deep in her throat. Eventually, the screams fade away, and Daisy’s distress causes her to vomit.

Piper wants to help the screaming people and keeps insisting that they go toward the voices. However, it is too dark to travel, and Piper eventually stops insisting. Struggling to sleep, the girls mostly lie awake until the sun rises, after which they finally get a few hours of sleep. Daisy believes that they are about a day away from Kingly, where Laurence said that Edmond and Isaac are located.

The footpath that they are following turns into a road. They are nervous at the idea of being so exposed, but Daisy notes that they are about a mile away from Kingly and Gateshead Farm. They pass a signpost for Kingly, then a sign for Gateshead Lane. Seeing these gives them the energy to jog. They see a sign for Gateshead Farm, along with several farm machines, but no people are on the farm. Foxes and birds are circling around it. Near the main barn, they see the dead bodies that the animals are feasting on.

Daisy is in shock, unable to feel anything, and she studies the bodies to see whether Edmond and Isaac are among them. She finds Dr. Jameson’s corpse but doesn’t find the corpses of her cousins. There is a young girl, younger than Alby, among the bodies. They find that most of the farm animals have died from starvation. At one point, Daisy loses track of Piper and starts screaming her name. Piper is in the barn, where the family goat, Ding, is dying. He won’t eat or drink, so Daisy shoots him to put him out of his misery.

Daisy and Piper then head to Aunt Penn’s farm. They do not stop along the way, but they do jump into the bushes to hide when a vehicle comes down the road. As they walk, Daisy grabs Piper’s hand and tries to physically convey her sisterly love for the girl. Eventually, Piper’s hand warms up, and she squeezes Daisy’s hand. The sun sets, but the moon is bright, so they keep walking, wrapped in their blankets. In the twilight, they arrive in Piper’s village and walk up to the house. No one is there. They find some food in the pantry and eat it. After the sun fully rises, they walk a mile to the lambing barn.

No one has disturbed anything in the barn. The things that they brought to the barn at the beginning of the war are still there. They use water from the trough to clean up, then change into some clothes that Edmond and Isaac left behind in the barn. Wearing Edmond’s clothes comforts Daisy. She and Piper curl up together, and Daisy sleeps deeply, without dreaming or connecting with Edmond.

Daisy and Piper sleep and do little else for three days in the barn. Daisy finds the food that Isaac hid. Most of it has survived, except for the rotted ham, which makes Daisy vomit as she throws it out. One night, Daisy hears a rustling sound in the barn, which turns out to be Jet the dog. They feed him and bring him up into the loft to sleep with them. Then, they go to the house and discover that although it hasn’t been completely vandalized by the soldiers, it is in total disarray. The electricity isn’t working, and there is no more food in the pantry than what they originally found. There aren’t any animals in the barn near the house. However, Daisy’s bedroom is untouched.

They have to bring water in from the pump and use a bucket to take a bath. Daisy is thrilled to finally be able to use shampoo and nice soap, and she is also glad to wear clean clothes. Piper takes a bath next, but she doesn’t want to go into her bedroom, so Daisy brings her fresh clothes. Daisy also packs a bag of warm clothes to take to the lambing barn. They rearrange the furniture, find dog food for Jet, and brush out his messy coat. Back at the barn, Piper cries, and Daisy understands that because Piper is now clean and safe, her concern for her brothers is overwhelming her. Daisy strokes Piper’s hair and tries to comfort her.

Daisy and Piper spend their days simply surviving. For the first time in a long while, Daisy craves food: a grilled cheese sandwich and a Diet Coke. She wryly reflects that this thought would please her psychiatrists. The farm has a large number of potatoes, which they harvest and eat. Piper also finds watercress, chestnuts, and honey. Daisy is amazed at Piper’s ability to harvest honey without getting stung, and Piper teaches her about where it is safe to harvest the watercress. Piper also finds garlic and onions to add to their potato meals. Daisy tries to harvest chestnuts but mistakenly harvests horse chestnuts, which are not edible. In addition to the potatoes, there are corn, squash, leeks, and beans.

After a few days of this diet, Piper suggests that they go fishing. Daisy is hesitant because of her happy memories of the river, but she ends up being the one to kill and gut the fish after Piper catches them. Daisy longs for bread and butter and realizes that she has “lost the will not to eat” (159). She reflects on the fact that it has taken a war to cure her disordered eating.

Daisy wishes that Jet could find Edmond and Gin. The dog smells the air, but doesn’t run off when Daisy orders him to fetch Edmond. Piper is able to talk with Jet in a way that Daisy cannot. Daisy can’t feel Edmond’s psychic presence anymore, and she worries that he is dead. She visits the house regularly, just in case Edmond arrives. Although Piper doesn’t like going to the house, Daisy lingers there, fixing up the furniture and cleaning, as well as wearing Edmond’s clothes. One day, Piper wants a bath, so she goes with Daisy to the house, and they haul in the water with a bucket and find some books to read.

The phone rings, startling them. Daisy answers it and recognizes the voice. (Later, the narrative reveals that the caller is her father.)