How to Lose Your Mother: A Daughter's Memoir

Discuss the role of addiction and recovery in shaping Jong-Fast’s understanding of family dynamics. How does her sobriety influence her perspective on her childhood and current relationships?

Examine the role of caregivers and hired help throughout the memoir. What does Jong-Fast’s reliance on paid assistance reveal about class, privilege, and family obligation? In your answer, be sure to consider the author’s own perspective on her actions.

Jong-Fast frequently uses self-deprecating humor throughout the memoir. Analyze how this technique functions in the narrative to reveal deeper truths about family trauma and personal responsibility. What does this strategy reveal about the author’s perspective on these issues?

Examine the role of repetitive patterns and cycles in the memoir’s structure. How does Jong-Fast use repetition, on both formal and thematic levels, to emphasize themes of generational trauma?

Jong-Fast often questions whether she is a “good daughter.” Evaluate her self-assessment based on the evidence presented in the memoir. What does being a “good daughter” mean to her, and how does she perceive herself to have succeeded or failed?

Analyze the memoir’s treatment of mental illness, addiction, and aging. How does Jong-Fast balance empathy for her mother’s conditions with acknowledgment of the harm they caused?

Examine the role of guilt throughout the memoir. How does Jong-Fast’s guilt function both as a motivator and an obstacle in her relationships? How does her judgment of her own guilt feature and change in her journey over the course of the narrative?

Consider the memoir’s exploration of inherited trauma. How does it examine the way that patterns of emotional neglect, substance abuse, and avoidance pass from one generation to the next?