How to Love Better: The Path to Deeper Connection Through Growth, Kindness, and Compassion

Chapter 11 examines the relationship between intuition and finding the right partner. Pueblo emphasizes intuition as an internal compass that guides individuals toward well-being and growth rather than merely comfort. Through personal narrative, Pueblo shares how his intuition led him to Wesleyan University despite financial constraints, where he ultimately met his wife. The chapter argues that intuition provides unquantifiable information that helps people discern which connections will foster growth and fulfillment. While intuition may feel mysterious or difficult to trust, Pueblo contends that its effects become clear when individuals listen to its guidance. Pueblo distinguishes between superficial attraction and deeper compatibility, noting that what lies beneath the surface only becomes apparent when navigating challenges together. He articulates specific red flags to watch for, including self-centeredness and an inability to admit mistakes, which signal potential barriers to forming a healthy relationship.

Alongside intuition, Pueblo outlines several key elements for finding a compatible partner: proximity (placing oneself in spaces to meet potential partners), embodiment (developing the qualities one seeks in a partner), and the willingness to grow. The author emphasizes that the pursuit of perfection is unrealistic and potentially detrimental to forming authentic connections, suggesting instead that individuals seek partners who embrace personal development.