How to Love Better: The Path to Deeper Connection Through Growth, Kindness, and Compassion

Yung Pueblo emphasizes that the relationship an individual has with themselves directly impacts how they show up in all other relationships. Self-awareness serves as the foundation for all healthy connections, so developing the practice of observing one’s thoughts, emotions, and patterns without judgment is vital. A simple starting point is to dedicate 10-15 minutes daily to checking in with oneself, noticing what triggers defensive reactions, where one tends to be critical, and how one communicates needs. If this prompts harsh self-talk, deliberately replacing it with the compassion one would offer a friend can be useful. Ultimately, this self-awareness strengthens relationships—for example, by helping individuals distinguish between reactions stemming from past wounds and responses to actual behavior. This creates space for more authentic connections and reduces the frequency of misunderstandings and conflicts.

The author distinguishes between attachment, which leads to controlling behaviors, and voluntary commitments that honor both oneself and one’s partner. Individuals can begin by identifying where they tend to grip tightly—perhaps insisting on specific communication styles, making demands about socializing, or having rigid expectations about how care should be expressed. Once they have noticed these attachment patterns, the next step is to pause and ask, “What am I afraid will happen if I loosen my grip?” Finally, individuals can transform these expectations into open conversations about what they can willingly offer those close to them.