How to Menopause

“You don’t pass through menopause. You enter it and live there for the rest of your life. It’s like a big old Victorian house that needs some work but will be beautiful when you finish the renovations.”

The metaphor of menopause as a “big old Victorian house” conveys the complexity and permanence of this life stage. It suggests that while menopause may require effort and adjustment, it also has potential for beauty and growth. The tone is reflective and optimistic as Fadal attempts to reframe perceptions of menopause.​ This metaphor also subtly supports the theme of Embracing Midlife As a Time of Empowerment and Growth, suggesting that menopause, like an old house, has layers of character worth restoring.

“Menopause is technically only one day long1 It occurs 366 days after the first day of your final menstrual period.”

This statement uses the medical definition of menopause to clarify misconceptions (Removing the Mystery and Stigma Surrounding Menopause). This contrasts with the common perception of it as a prolonged phase. The sentence’s briefness emphasizes the difference between medical facts and lived experience, reflecting the information’s conciseness.

“Some women tell me they’re relived to no longer be getting checked out, and they are enjoying being less visible, whereas others say they feel overlooked and sad about that. The most important person you want to be visible to is yourself.”

This quote involves contrasting perspectives on societal visibility and shows that Fadal acknowledges there is no “one size fits all” approach to menopause or one way to feel about it. The statement, “The most important person you want to be visible to is yourself” emphasizes that appearance should be the result of health, not something women aim for to please a societal standard. Fadal emphasizes internal validation over external approval, making this quote a quiet assertion of self-worth during a time when many women feel invisible.

“Thirty-four is a big number and I’m certainly not the only one who is shocked b how many symptoms there are.”

There are actually over 100 symptoms of menopause, but even 34 major ones demonstrate the overwhelming nature of menopausal symptoms. Fadal humanistically admits that she, too, was surprised to learn this. The informal tone creates a sense of shared experience and solidarity.​ By naming the number outright, Fadal grounds the reader in fact while signaling that confusion or surprise about symptoms is both valid and shared.

“Menopause is often not only a matter of quality of life—which it is—but a matter of life and death.”

By contrasting “quality of life” with “life and death,” this statement highlights the considerable influence menopause can have on women’s health. The contrast highlights the topic’s gravity, elevating it from a simple lifestyle modification to a crucial health issue.

“Despite all these data, too often in our current reality, women feel they are not given the right to decide, in partnership with their doctors, what level of risk they find acceptable in return for improved quality of life.”

The sentence underlines how menopause care is not only a medical issue, but a matter of bodily autonomy and cultural respect. When a woman is “not given the right to decide” about her own health and treatment, it speaks to a wider cultural issue of women’s autonomy and taking women seriously. The use of “in partnership with their doctors” advocates for collaborative healthcare, not seeing doctors as the enemy, and demonstrates the need for self-advocacy.

“You might be wondering about herbal remedies and supplements. I discuss these in Chapter 8 because I feel, as an integrative nutrition coach, that it’s best to incorporate these into a holistic plan for your health. You are not your symptoms!”

This moment models Fadal’s signature balance of empathy and empowerment, gently advocating for holistic thinking. Fadal speaks directly to the reader, involving them in the narrative and emphasizing the sense of community she continually encourages. She guides the reader through her book, mentioning some topics in advance on a brief level, and explaining what will be in each upcoming chapter. She adds encouragement as well.

“To be honest, sleep is still a work in progress for me, it is so much better.”

Fadal’s candid tone and informal phrasing creates relatability in the next and always adds an element of positivity to each statement. The phrase “work in progress” acknowledges the ongoing transitional nature of menopause. Fadal’s honesty about her own symptoms helps clear misconceptions and reduce stigma about menopausal symptoms. Her honesty encourages readers to view progress as nonlinear—a realistic and compassionate approach to managing symptoms.

“Sleep will help you tackle what I personally found to be the second most troubling symptom: brain changes. That’s what we’re covering next.”

This quote introduces a change in topic through a personal tone. Fadal describes her book like a “sister” guiding women through menopause, and this way of writing reflects that intention. Additionally, Fadal balances vulnerability with educational goals by Removing the Mystery and Stigma Surrounding Menopause. The sentence demonstrates how Fadal weaves education into personal storytelling, making scientific insight easier to trust and absorb.

“We might not return to the razor-sharp days when our brain was awash in estrogen, but we can pay less attention to negative developments, have more and better ideas, come to better conclusions, and know how to act on them more quickly and more effectively. And isn’t that what wisdom is all about?”

By contrasting memories with present cognitive strengths, this sentence uses a balanced sentence structure to highlight gains over losses. The rhetorical question at the end urges readers to consider the benefits of aging. Fadal makes a point of illustrating experience and growth as the, most important aspect of life. Fadal redefines aging not as loss, but as the gaining of wisdom and decisiveness, reclaiming mental evolution as a form of power.

“And then there is how society views a menopausal woman. Like she is invisible.”

This quote emphasizes the theme, Removing the Mystery and Stigma Surrounding Menopause, a stigma which has social, psychological, and physical consequences. The stark phrase, “Like she is invisible” speaks to how severe these feelings of social neglect can be. Fadal makes the critique both emotional and approachable by mirroring society’s neglect of middle-aged women through minimalism and a distant tone.

“Einstein said, ‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.’ I say, ‘Menopausal insanity is doing the same thing over and over and getting different results.’”

This line reinvents a famous adage to make menopausal experience more relatable and humorous. Fadal’s wordplay matches the unpredictable and frequently infuriating nature of menopause, bridging the gap between personal insight and scientific fact. Fadal injects humor and relatability into a deeply frustrating experience, giving readers emotional relief and camaraderie.

“We are not working hard to be the girl we once were. We are working hard to accept the woman we have become.”

Fadal contrasts youthful aspiration with mature self-acceptance, emphasizing transformation and Embracing Midlife As a Time of Empowerment and Growth. The parallel sentence structure creates rhythm and adds clarity with its simplistic style, while the tone remains motivational and inspiring, as well as optimistic.

“What you do in these years will determine how much you enjoy the future and whether you thrive as you age or spend your remaining time on earth trying to plug up leaks.”

This metaphor compares unchecked aging to something leaky, implying that it can be difficult to manage symptoms that are not prevented in some way. The conditional wording emphasizes the significance of proactive self-care by clearly establishing a cause-and-effect relationship. Fadal’s approach is inspiring but cautionary and encourages Managing the Effects of Menopause as early as possible.

“Menopause is a chance for us to give fewer effs and put ourselves first, right?”

Fadal uses informal language and a rhetorical question to create a relatable, woman-to-woman atmosphere. She uses humor and writes like a human to other humans, rather than with the goal of preaching or trying to push her own values onto others. The sentence also affirms the value of unapologetic self-prioritization, especially in a stage of life where women are often expected to shrink themselves.

“On the days when your eyes don’t feel like they did when you were twenty-five, look into them and tell yourself you are still right here. Because you are.”

Fadal establishes a close bond with the reader by writing in the second person where it counts. The juxtaposition between the past and present reflects the stark realities of aging, but through an honest and ever-optimistic lens. This encouragement reinforces Fadal’s emphasis on presence, not perfection, valuing continuity of self over youthfulness.

“Loneliness is not the same as being alone. It is a subjective feeling.”

Fadal touches on some philosophical ideas about the differences between loneliness and being alone. She explains that to be alone can be a calming, much-needed personal break, but being lonely is an entirely negative feeling. Loneliness is one of the biggest risks of illness, injury, and death, and one which Fadal sees as necessary to fight as much as any other women’s issue. Fadal aligns emotional connection with survival and well-being.

“Whether you call it a reawakening or a reinvention, a crisis or a celebration, midlife is a time of great upheaval that may or may not feel like a midlife crisis. For many of us, it is an invitation to question our very identity. That’s how it was for me.”

This quote contrasts various perspectives about midlife, both empowering and negative. Fadal encourages connection and validates a range of experiences through her use of inclusive language (using “us”) and firsthand accounts. This breaks down the idea of a singular midlife experience, making space for both pain and reinvention.

“Maybe the things you learn in this book will help you see that what’s really at the root of any relationship issues you may be having are your changing hormones. Or maybe you’ll see that it’s bigger than that—you’ve changed, your priorities have changed, and now it’s time for your life to change, too.”

The repetition emphasizes the points Fadal is making about accepting change and being excited about the next phase of life. Fadal uses the second person and speculative “maybe” to acknowledge a range of experiences while challenging the reader to consider their own level of self-awareness. This reflects a major tenet of the book: that clarity about one’s emotional and hormonal landscape can transform personal relationships.

“The first thing you might want to do is hand this book to your husband, boyfriend, coworker, or maybe your son, brother, or nephew.”

Fadal encourages awareness among males (both partners and otherwise) by encouraging women to continue the discussion with men in their lives. The lighthearted tone suggests the need for action without any fear of judgment, continuing the tone that has rung throughout the book. This also expands the book’s audience, reminding readers that menopause education benefits everyone.

“We need to change the work culture that says we need to be buttoned up, unflappable, and mentally on point at every moment. It’s up to us to speak out, not only for one another, but for the women who are coming up next.”

Fadal uses repetition and parallel structure to critique unrealistic workplace expectations placed on women. The collective “we” and “us” foster solidarity and call to activism, emphasizing community amongst different generations. Her persuasive tone matches with feminism, encouraging cultural and structural change.

“There has never ever been a time like this for women in midlife and beyond…We are saying no to fear and charging forward unapologetically to write our own story…our way.”

This quote emphasizes a shift in society in terms of how midlife is experienced, perceived, and understood; Fadal argues it can be joyous and uplifting, using a collective voice (“we”). She talks about menopause in an all-new way, Embracing Midlife As a Time of Empowerment and Growth.

“In this chapter of my life, I have turned my focus from retaining my youth to leaning into purpose.”

Fadal uses the metaphor of a chapter to depict aging as just another part of the story (and an inevitable one). Because Fadal now knows the difference between “retaining youth” and “leaning into purpose,” illustrates a shift from superficial goals to finding new meaning in unexpected places. The reflective tone invites readers to embrace change and middle age. This shift from appearance to purpose also models the kind of meaning-based realignment Fadal wants readers to embrace.