How to Menopause

For most of human history, menopause and other female health issues have been swept away, rarely discussed, and stigmatized by wider society. Fadal’s book on menopause challenges this persistent silence and acts as part of a movement toward a more open and honest dialogue about menopause. Fadal takes the approach of discussing her own experiences first, with the hope that doing so will inspire other women to do the same. By opening up about her experiences with hormone therapy, divorce, hot flashes, and more, Fadal creates a space where talking about menopause is normal and safe. She uses humor alongside honest, heartfelt encouragement to help women find the courage to not only open up but learn more about what they are going through. This approach not only normalizes menopause but reframes it as something worthy of curiosity, respect, and proactive care. These qualities are rarely granted to midlife women in mainstream discourse.

Fadal mentions how she didn’t realize she was going through menopause when it first hit her, and she had no idea what was happening to her as she ended up lying on the bathroom floor at work during her first hot flash. Fadal notes:

I didn’t recognize the changes as being hormonally related because no one was talking about what women’s hormones go through in midlife, least of all my doctor. Even though millions upon millions of women were experiencing the exact same thing. We were all feeling lost, alone, confused, less confident, and self-conscious about the fact that we no longer recognized our bodies or ourselves. And we had no idea how to menopause (4).

Fadal discovered that not only do other women often not understand menopause, but even doctors seem to either ignore or dismiss it. Part of the stigma surrounding menopause is within healthcare itself, as women who seek treatment for their symptoms are often told they are imagining things or that their symptoms are just normal. Feeling lost while going through such a major transition only makes it more challenging, and leads women to feeling lost, alone, confused, and ashamed. When she reads her messages and comments on her social media platforms, she finds that many are positive, but many others are “filled with shame, confusion, frustration, and fear” (6). Open discussions and forming communities is one of the most important tools in bridging these gaps and making menopause less daunting. In these moments, Fadal’s advocacy becomes collective: Her transparency becomes a bridge for others to share, ask questions, and reject the culture of shame. By documenting and validating these common struggles, she repositions menopause as a public health conversation rather than a private burden.

This sense of community is vital to Fadal’s message, and to the intention of many others like her:

Many women in our community describe perimenopause as a room that was once familiar but now they cannot find the light switch anymore. We can’t prevent the layout of the room from change, but we can prevent the abrupt darkness by preparing ourselves beforehand for what might come and learning how we can navigate it (27).

The metaphor illustrates the sense of confusion many women experience, but it also suggests a way forward: understanding that while change is inevitable, knowledge is empowerment and community is key. Fadal ends her introduction with optimism, communicating the potential in postmenopausal freedom and how it is a time to truly discover oneself. By shifting the narrative from fear to illumination, Fadal invites women to reclaim authority over their own stories.