Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened

When Allie and Duncan pack up their house for a move, helper dog becomes unsettled. During the move, she shakes and drools. Simple dog enjoys the drive but vomits seven times (185). She seems to enjoy vomiting as an ability to produce endless food to then eat and re-vomit.

When they stop for the night, simple dog realizes something is amiss and whines for hours. Every strategy Allie and Duncan attempt is ineffective at controlling the whining behavior. The simple dog continues whining into the next morning. When Allie puts both dogs in the car, the whining upsets the helper dog. The two dogs create a negative feedback loop of loud noises.

When they arrive at their new house, there’s snow on the ground. The simple dog is at first excited by the snow, but she soon becomes confused. The helper dog lays in the snow as though death is upon her.

When the dogs come inside, they sprint around the house in circles. As a condition of allowing dogs in the rental house, the landlady made Allie promise that their claws would not mark up the wood floors. Out of concern about the claws, Allie goes to the pet store, purchases two sets of sled dog booties and makes the dogs wear them in the house. Both dogs react poorly to the booties: the simple dog stands in place, and the helper dog flops around on her side rather than stand up wearing them. While unpacking, Allie and Duncan find a squeaky toy. They give the toy to the simple dog, and it makes her happy again. 

Allie faces off against her dad’s coworker in a hot sauce eating challenge. Allie and the coworker eat habañero pepper sauce. Whoever taps out first will lose the contest. Allie is surprised at how badly the hot sauce hurts her face, but she is desperate for the approval of her parents for winning. She realizes she does not actually adore hot sauce. Six spoonfuls in, the coworker taps out, and Allie wins the contest.

Afterward, her parents show off her new “talent” whenever they host guests. That year, Santa gets Allie an entire case of different hot sauces. Extended family and friends relate to her entirely through her perceived adoration of spiciness. At the end of the chapter, Allie comes clean: she only ever liked hot sauce “a normal amount” (218).

Allie recognizes that if she exceeds her ability to be a responsible adult, she reaches “system failure” (219). A few times a year, she decides it’s time to morph into the perfect adult in a big burst of effort.

After a day or two, she starts feeling self-congratulatory and wears herself out. She takes a recovery break—a longer break than usual—and starts to feel guilty about taking the time off. The guilt causes her to procrastinate, which makes her feel more guilty and thus procrastinate further. Eventually, she feels so guilty that she is only able to eat nachos and surf the web.

While in the guilt/procrastination spiral, she eventually has to perform some basic tasks, but she lacks the enthusiasm of previous efforts. She feels awful, and rebels against her responsibilities by spending more time online.