I Am Not Jessica Chen

As Jenna settles into Jessica’s life, the rising action begins, with an element of suspense being added in: Jenna as “Jessica” begins to receive anonymous emails and notes, indicating that Jessica has done something problematic. These notes, combined with the telling journal entry Jenna discovers, become significant. As Jenna basks in the glory of being Jessica, these instances serve to underling to both Jenna and the reader that Jessica’s life was by no means perfect—she, too, faced her own secret challenges. 

As this storyline evolves, it also speaks to Navigating Comparison and Expectation. In her own body, Jenna felt the weight of comparison and expectation especially heavily, comparing herself unfavorably to Jessica and the other high-achievers in her life. As one of these high-achievers after the body swap, Jenna discovers that comparison and expectation don’t disappear—they only intensify. When Jessica’s teacher wishes her luck for the test, Jenna feels the pressure behind this compliment; similarly, the surprise she is met with when she gives the wrong answer as “Jessica” in a physics class speaks to the level of expectation people have of Jessica, which means that Jessica can never afford to make a mistake. 

Additionally, when Jessica first receives her test score, she is thrilled with a 91; however, this high immediately comes crashing down when she is faced with the profound disappointment Jessica’s teacher feels in this less-than-perfect score. There is a growing sense that things that could be viewed as achievements or success in themselves immediately become meaningless when comparison is introduced. Instead of being compared to most of her peers, whose scores are lower than hers, Jessica is constantly compared with a standard of perfection she sometimes achieves and is now expected to achieve all the time.  

Once again, Aaron’s character serves as the exception to this rule: He is unruffled by his perfect test score, showcasing no particular joy or celebration. On the other hand, he speaks to “Jessica” passionately about the kind of work he was doing at his intensive medical program in Paris, something that he finds meaning in for its own sake rather than a sense of achievement or competition. Liang thus showcases how comparison and expectation can limit joy, passion, and an inherent sense of achievement, using Aaron’s passion as a foil to Jessica’s stressful, unhappy perfectionism.

The test results also serve as an opportunity to explore The Impact of Success on Personal Relationships. As the story progresses, it becomes increasingly clear that Jessica intimidates people and they are reluctant to be completely authentic around her. Jenna held back in her relationship with her cousin prior to the swap, and she now discovers that Leela does too. Leela is self-conscious and inauthentic around “Jessica,” hiding, for instance, her true feelings about a book she believes Jessica holds in high esteem. 

This lack of authenticity and genuine connection is reinforced by the encounter Jenna as “Jessica” has with Leela after the test results are returned. Leela is reluctant to open up to “Jessica,” believing she is incapable of understanding disappointment and frustration in relation to academics. Leela’s belief underlines how there are possibly invisible walls in a number of Jessica’s friendships, with her unparalleled success disallowing those around her from seeing her as a real person with flaws and challenges of her own. 

The problematic perception that people have of Jessica is further reiterated by the intensity of her mother’s shock when “Jessica” reveals her test results. The amount of success Jessica has had has inadvertently leads to a situation where a lesser performance immediately and negatively impacts her relationship with her parents. This incident exposes how much pressure Jessica is under at home, and just how conditional her parents’ love and esteem for her are, further emphasizing that Jessica’s life is never as perfect as it seems. 

The ugly aspects of Jessica’s life also speak to The Relationship Between Appearance and Identity by exposing the gap that can exist between what one’s life and sense of self can appear to be, and what the reality actually is. There are parts of Jessica’s life that Jenna takes to immediately: She enjoys the luxuries and material comforts that Jessica’s family’s wealth affords her, and is thrilled by the constant praise and admiration heaped on her. However, Jenna also discovers that being Jessica is not as pleasurable as it looks. The intense academic schedule Jessica has created for herself demands hard work, and Jessica herself was beginning to crack under all of this pressure: Her journal entries reveal the exhaustion and unhappiness she was feeling at having to keep up with the expectations people had of her. 

Jenna is shocked by some of the reflections she discovers in her cousin’s journal, including the harsh tone Jessica sometimes adopts toward herself—significantly, her attitude is not too different from Jenna’s own self-perceptions when she lived in her own body. Thus, Liang suggests that assumptions about a person’s self and identity based on what their life appears to be can often be incomplete and inaccurate.

The representation of a person in an image makes a reappearance as a motif. Earlier, it was Jenna’s self-portrait, while in these chapters, it is a school photograph. As with the self-portrait, Jenna discovers that her features are blurring and fading in the photograph as well. This concurs with people’s increasingly fading memories of Jenna, with Jenna slowly realizing that being “Jessica” means erasing the person she really is. Similarly, Jessica’s journal entries take on greater significance in these chapters. Along with offering insights into Jessica’s experiences with comparison and expectation, they also further the plot by hinting at Jessica having done something regrettable in the past. This hint, along with the anonymous email and note, adds to the narrative tension and moves the plot along.