I Am Not Jessica Chen

Jessica Chen is Jenna’s cousin. A high school senior in the same school as Jenna, Jessica is a brilliant, talented, and popular student. She is the target of her cousin’s envy owing to her achievements and her seemingly spectacular life, and Jenna wishes she could be Jessica. In secret, however, Jessica is lonely and exhausted, and wishes to not be herself anymore. Jenna and Jessica’s complementary wishes are what supposedly trigger the body swap in the book.

For almost the entirety of the book, Jessica is not actively present, as her consciousness is detached from her body while Jenna inhabits it. What one learns about Jessica is largely through Jenna’s interactions with the people in Jessica’s life during the body swap, and through Jessica’s journal entries. The most striking thing about Jessica is the sheer volume of achievements that she has racked up; the second-most striking thing is how deeply unhappy she is in secret. Jenna uncovers the latter when she reads Jessica’s journal entries, in which Jessica details the pressure she feels to constantly be perfect and keep achieving at a high level.

At first glance, Jenna and Jessica’s character arcs seem to follow entirely different paths—Jenna wants to blaze ahead, while Jessica wants to retreat from life. However, at their core, each of these journeys is rooted in self- acceptance. Jenna’s resolution comes with recognizing what is important in life, realizing she has inherent value, and accepting her strengths and limitations as they are; Jessica’s resolution will ultimately come from the same place, once she allows herself to be imperfect and fail on occasion.

A turning point for Jessica is the plagiarism incident with Cathy Liu and her inability to deal with the guilt after. Unwilling to fail, Jessica steals Cathy’s essay idea and turns it in as her own, when she is too exhausted to complete the assignment herself. However, Cathy confronts “Jessica” when Jenna is inhabiting her cousin’s body, and upon her return, Jessica resolves to confess. She has concluded that integrity, dignity, and sanity are more important to her than an illusion of perfection. This decision signals Jessica’s growth, as she is willing to brave the consequences of her academic misconduct rather than hide behind her reputation. Thus, like Jenna, she is finally on the path toward self-acceptance.

Aaron Cai is Jenna’s friend and eventual love interest in the book. A high school senior like Jenna, Aaron grew up with Jenna and Jessica, as their parents are friends. Aaron’s mother passed away of a heart condition when he was young; as a result, Aaron is passionate about pursuing medicine as a career. At the beginning of the book, he is freshly returned from a student medical program in Paris.

Like Jessica, Aaron is a brilliant and high-achieving student. He is well-regarded by peers and adults alike, with Jessica’s mother even attempting to push Aaron and Jessica toward dating each other. Due to Aaron’s brilliance, Jenna feels insecure around Aaron, just as she does with Jessica. Jenna constantly feels like she is on the outside when with Aaron and Jessica, viewing the two of them as having more in common than her. Jenna’s feelings of unworthiness next to Aaron are further complicated by her enduring romantic feelings for him and his perceived rejection of her before he left for Paris.

Unbeknownst to Jenna, however, Aaron reciprocates her feelings, which he eventually confesses toward the end of the book. Aaron’s confession is spurred by Jenna’s assumption that he cares more for Jessica than for her, reflecting Jenna’s flawed self-perception. Jenna is unable to pick up on Aaron’s feelings for her until he blatantly states the obvious, despite strong signs throughout that Aaron cares deeply for her. After the body swap, Aaron is the only one who clearly remembers Jenna and is concerned about her disappearance. Additionally, he senses that there is something off with “Jessica,” leading Jenna to confide in him about her real identity. Once convinced, Aaron then sets out to help Jenna switch back, determined to have her come back to him.

While Aaron’s ability to see Jenna for who she is stems from his feelings for her, it also partly is rooted in Aaron’s inherent personality. While he is a high achiever like Jessica, he is not cowed by the same pressures and expectations that she is. Jessica appears confident and self-assured on the surface, but is deeply unhappy beneath it; on the contrary, Aaron is unruffled by his achievements because he is more motivated by passion and purpose than a sense of competition. 

Aaron’s enthusiasm for what he learned while in Paris is a reminder to both Jenna and the reader of the joys of learning and doing what one loves regardless of success. Similarly, his feelings for Jenna are a reminder that people have inherent worth and value regardless of what they can do or have achieved.