I Regret Almost Everything

Nine weeks later, McNally was discharged from New York-Presbyterian. The New York streets reminded him of his arrival in New York in 1975. He recalls his time working as a busboy, visiting Greenwich Village, and participating in the film industry. He thought moving to New York would facilitate a career in film.

While bussing tables at the restaurant One Fifth, McNally met Po Ming—a coworker who’d become his best friend in New York. One Fifth’s owner George Schwartz also supported McNally and soon promoted him to general manager. One Fifth launched McNally’s interest in the restaurant industry and good design in general. A few months later, McNally hired Brian and his “future wife, Lynn” (93). McNally and Lynn worked well together, started dating, and fell in love.

As One Fifth’s manager and maître d’, McNally met many famous artists, actors, and public figures. What he cared about most, however, were restaurant aesthetics.

McNally recalls his life in New York during the 1970s. In 1977, he secured a SoHo apartment on Thompson Street. He put a lot of time and money into renovating the space. Over the following years, his landlord moved him from unit to unit so McNally could transform each space. He was close with Po Ming throughout this time, too. Po Ming would later die of cancer, marking a significant loss for McNally.

McNally details the culture of SoHo during the 1970s. He reflects on how much the area has changed, and how its history has impacted its evolution. Meanwhile, McNally maintained his interest in film. In 1989, he’d make End of the Night, his first film. In retrospect, McNally recognizes these as his happiest years in New York.

In 1979, George Schwarz helped McNally secure his US green card. Shortly thereafter, he and Lynn opened their own restaurant, the Odeon in Tribeca. Brian was also involved. Alan visited from London to support them and they soon hired Patrick Clark as their head chef. The Odeon opened in 1980, combining downtown spirit with uptown class. McNally guesses his meticulous attention to the Odeon’s design came from his childhood regard for restaurants; his family never went out to eat and restaurants were foreign, snobbish places. With the Odeon, McNally wanted a place that felt comfortable and down to earth.

McNally reflects on the challenges he encountered during the Odeon’s first years. Clark sometimes contested McNally’s methods and McNally at times sparred with Brian about restaurant operations. Brian eventually left the Odeon to open his own successful restaurant, Indochine. Despite their rivalry, McNally holds that Brian is one of his best friends and primary confidantes.

McNally asserts that Lynn is the person responsible for helping him through his stroke. Although they’d divorced years prior, she was supportive throughout his recovery. Meanwhile, McNally strengthened his relationships with his older children. While spending time with his New York family, McNally tried keeping in touch with Alina, Alice, and George. He was particularly worried that Alina wouldn’t facilitate the children’s cultural and artistic educations in his absence. Alina was also difficult to communicate with because she was upset by Lynn’s involvement with McNally.

McNally recalls his and Lynn’s 1983 wedding. They had a private ceremony as McNally hated weddings. Not long later, they opened their second restaurant, Café Luxembourg. McNally describes the restaurant’s inspiration and aesthetic. He wanted a place that felt real and accessible. The restaurant remains one of his favorites, and he continued eating there even after Lynn bought the restaurant when they divorced in 1994.

In 1986, McNally and Lynn also opened a nightclub called Nell’s. He describes their vision for the space and all of the famous stars who visited. Then in 1989, McNally and Lynn opened Lucky Strike, a SoHo Bistro. Although the restaurant was successful, its operation would create a rift between McNally and Lynn. Lynn insisted they fire McNally’s friend Ambesi because she thought he was stealing from them. McNally acquiesced although he doubted Lynn’s accusation. Years later, Ambesi would confess to stealing.

McNally reflects on his love for art. He developed an obsession with paintings while working as a server in New York. When he started making money, he began buying work that interested him. Meanwhile, McNally continued working in film. Despite his success with End of the Night, he was anxious about showing the film in the Cannes Film Festival. Harvey Weinstein had even considered buying the film.

Much of McNally’s interest in art originated with his trip to Paris in 1967. He recalls the circumstances surrounding the trip and the various venues and spaces that inspired his personal aesthetic. In particular, Café de Flore catalyzed his desire to open restaurants.

McNally tried making another film called Far From Berlin. The shoot took him away from Lynn, their children, and their restaurants. After he returned, he and Lynn split up. They did, however, rekindle their friendship in the years following.

After McNally and Lynn’s divorce, McNally bought a house in Martha’s Vineyard. He spent months renovating the space. He almost chopped down the catalpa trees out front, but retained them after witnessing them flower. During his time, McNally developed a relationship with the owners of the Allen Farm, a nearby sheep farm. The Allens taught him about gardening and raising animals. McNally also spent time cycling the island. He explored the fishing villages and beaches. He still feels attached to the place, and even buried his father here in 2008.

McNally reflects on his life after his and Lynn’s divorce. He lost Lynn, full access to his children, and three of his restaurants. Meanwhile, his finances suffered. Without Lynn, he realized how much he’d been relying on her. Despite these setbacks, McNally was glad he’d retained his SoHo apartment.

Then in 1995, McNally bought a former leather warehouse in Adar Tannery. This is where he’d soon open another restaurant, Balthazar.

McNally details his inspiration for Balthazar. He got the idea while living in Paris in the early 1990s, during which time he developed an interest in antique market culture. He was meticulous about Balthazar’s curation, aesthetic, and operations. He even wrote a manual for the waitstaff.

McNally hired Riad Nasr and his partner Lee Hanson as Balthazar’s head chefs. They were bullying men with a volatile relationship. However, McNally kept them on for some time because they were such skilled cooks.

Balthazar has been a success since its opening. In retrospect, McNally isn’t sure why, but asserts that a customer’s enjoyment of their visit is paramount.