I Regret Almost Everything

McNally reflects on his interest in cycling during the 1980s. After a friend told him about a recent cycling feat, McNally was eager to attempt something similar. He spent weeks biking through France, a time that challenged him physically and mentally. In particular, the trip augmented his self-doubt. He identifies this insecurity as inspiration for his interest in talented people. He reflects on his influential friendships with people including Jonathan Miller, Oliver Sacks, and Christopher Hitchens. Years later, his fears of insignificance would grow after his stroke.

McNally details the history of his restaurant Pastis, which opened in 1998. It was difficult to secure the Pastis space because the building was owned by a notorious New York landlord named Bill Gottlieb. However, McNally deftly managed Gottlieb’s idiosyncratic personality and successfully opened Pastis. A decade later, he’d open a second Pastis with the help of Bobby Cayre.

McNally reflects on his relationship with Alina. In 2000, the two moved in together, now sharing McNally’s SoHo apartment. He recalls the months they spent together and their on-again/off-again dynamic. This period was also peppered with McNally’s ancillary relationships, including with a famous actress he refers to as X. The dynamic was complicated and confusing for McNally, as X only showed interest in him because of his restaurateur success.