I Regret Almost Everything

Lynn is McNally’s first wife. McNally and Lynn met when McNally was working as the general manager of One Fifth. In need of new floor staff, McNally soon found himself “sitting across from a twenty-four-year-old woman applying for a waitress job. Her name was Lynn” (94). Immediately taken by Lynn’s artistic sensibility and devotion to authenticity, McNally hired her on the spot. This decision would lead to a lifelong relationship between Lynn and McNally. They married five years after their first meeting and had three children together: Harry, Sophie, and Isabelle.

Throughout their marriage, Lynn and McNally were also business partners. They opened several restaurants together, the majority of which are still open. After their divorce—which was inspired by tensions over hiring and firing employees—McNally recognized how much he’d been depending on Lynn all along. Not only kind hearted, Lynn was also an excellent financial manager and businesswoman.

McNally and Lynn rekindled a friendship in the years following their divorce, with McNally’s stroke helping them make amends. While McNally was recovering at New York-Presbyterian, Lynn devoted herself to his care and well-being. Indeed, McNally attributes his recovery solely to Lynn’s support. McNally’s ability to honor Lynn on the page conveys his abiding care for her. Their marriage didn’t last, but McNally continues to respect Lynn as a person and to value her influential role in his life.

Alina is McNally’s second wife. They first met “in the basement of Balthazar during its construction in the winter of 1997” (11). McNally was immediately enraptured by Alina’s “sultry gaze,” and “powerful mix of tenderness and sensuality” (11). The next time they met was “two weeks later at Pravda, a subterranean vodka bar” McNally also owned (11). Not long later, they began dating and fell in love. They married five years after their original meeting in February 2002, and soon had two children together: Alice and George.

McNally and Alina’s relationship was complicated from its start. Although defined by passion, the two often fought over their differences. McNally was perpetually frustrated with Alina for failing to follow through on anything, and Alina was perpetually frustrated with McNally for being emotionally detached and failing to listen to her and their children’s needs. The two would remain married until 2018. McNally’s stroke took a particular toll on their marriage, and contributed to Alina’s decision to divorce McNally. Although a difficult time, McNally and Alina would later rekindle a friendship. McNally holds that things are better between him and Alina, but also acknowledges the constant work they have to do to maintain a healthy connection.

Harry, Sophie, Isabelle, Alice, and George are McNally’s five children. He and Lynn had Harry, Sophie, and Isabelle together, while he and Alina had Alice and George together. Throughout the memoir, McNally often refers to Harry, Sophie, and Isabelle as the older children, and to Alice and George as the younger children. When McNally first married Alina and had Alice and George, they got along well with the older children. The families often spent holidays together. Things changed, however, after McNally’s stroke. Alina resented Lynn and the older children’s involvement with her husband, and pulled Alice and George away from them.

McNally’s relationships with his children also evolved as a result of his medical, marital, vocational, and logistical challenges. When he was living in London with Alina, Alice, and George, distance grew between him and his older children. His relationship with Harry was strained because of disagreements in schooling; and his relationship with Sophie was strained because of his inattention to her mental health. Years later, McNally struggled to connect with Alice and George after they witnessed his stroke and his attempt to die by suicide. As with his marriages, McNally has had to work hard to repair these complicated dynamics. His raw excavation of his parental challenges on the page reiterates the Complexity of Family Relationships.

Brian is one of McNally’s older brothers. Although Brian was unkind to McNally throughout their childhood, the brothers later established a more sustainable bond as adults. Brian also relocated from London to New York, bringing him and McNally into closer physical proximity. When McNally was working “[a]s One Fifth’s general manager,” he “gave [Brian] a job as a bartender” (94). Brian had arrived in New York one year after McNally, in November 1976. His first time in the American city, Brian had “never experienced anything as sophisticated as downtown New York and was in awe that, in managing this stylish restaurant, [McNally] seemed to have [a] foot in the door of Manhattan’s high life” (94). In reality, McNally knew almost as little about New York’s culture and restaurant history as his older brother. Further, he often looked up to his brother and wished he could be more like him. Over the years, the brothers continued working together in various hospitality settings. Brian would go on to open his own restaurant. Although McNally admits that the two have constant conflicts and arguments, they are the best of friends and the most trusted confidantes.

Alan Bennett was one of McNally’s romantic partners, and one of two men with whom he had an intimate relationship. Alan was an English playwright who McNally “became friends [with] when sharing the stage in his play Forty Years On” (47). In the wake of the production’s completion, McNally and Alan started seeing each other regularly. Their intimate relationship began when Alan invited McNally “to go to the theater with him,” and then “back to his house in Camden Town for supper” (47). The two continued this routine until they eventually became a couple. McNally holds that although he wasn’t as in love with Alan as Alan was with him, Alan was one of the most influential figures in his life. Not only older and wiser, Alan was a cultural, artistic, and emotional mentor for the young McNally. The two ended their romantic entanglement when McNally relocated to New York City in the late 1970s.