In His Own Write

In His Own Write is a collection of short absurdist prose pieces, poems, plays, and sketches by John Lennon. The works are united by sustained wordplay, malapropisms, dark humor, and Lennon's own line drawings. Rather than following a single narrative, the book presents dozens of brief pieces ranging from literary parodies and nonsense verse to satirical commentary.

Paul McCartney provides a brief introduction, recalling how he first met Lennon at the Woolton village fete when both were 12 years old. He references Lennon's Aunt Mimi and her belief that Lennon was "cleverer than he pretended," and notes that Lennon attended Quarry Bank High School for Boys and later Liverpool Art College before playing with the Beatles. McCartney frames the collection by dismissing both readers who will be confused and those searching for hidden meanings: "None of it has to make sense and if it seems funny then that's enough."

The collection opens with "Partly Dave," about a man whose entire identity rests on being "partly Dave." On his way to work, Dave forgets his bus fare and is confronted by a bus conductor, whom the narrator identifies as "coloured." Racial tension surfaces as a disembodied voice asks whether Dave would want his daughter to marry one, and Dave leaps off the bus without understanding "the coloured problem."

"No Flies on Frank" follows Frank, a family man who discovers one morning that he has gained "twelve inches more tall heavy." Distraught, he delivers a mock-biblical lament. When his wife asks what ails him, Frank clubs her to death, rationalizing that she should not have to see him in such a state on her 32nd birthday. He makes his own breakfast on the following mornings, eventually noticing that while there are no flies on him, there are many on his wife's body on the kitchen floor. He stuffs her into a sack and delivers her to her mother, Mrs. Sutherskill, who refuses to take the body inside because of the flies, being "very houseproud."

Several shorter pieces follow. "Good Dog Nigel" is a cheerful poem celebrating a dog as "our little hairy friend," only to reveal that the family is putting Nigel to sleep that afternoon. "At the Denis" presents a comic dialogue between a patient and a dentist in garbled language; after extracting one tooth, the dentist recommends a new set, and the woman requests that all her remaining stumps be pulled. In "The Fat Growth on Eric Hearble," a man wakes with a sentient growth on his head that asks to be called "Scab." The two become inseparable, but Eric loses his teaching job when the headmaster declares, "Were not having a cripple teaching our lads" (10). "The Wrestling Dog" describes a harvest festival where the mayor secures a wrestling dog, but no one volunteers to fight it.

"Randolf's Party" is one of the collection's darkest pieces. Randolf sits alone at Christmas, wondering where his friends have gone. He puts up decorations, and suddenly all his friends arrive. Randolf welcomes them joyfully, but they attack him, declaring they never liked him. They beat him to death, and the narrator remarks, "at least he didn't die alone did he?"

"The Famous Five through Woenow Abbey" parodies the children's adventure novels of Enid Blyton. The "famous five" are absurdly listed as 10 members with a dog and uncle in tow. They encounter a mysterious stranger who warns them from the abbey, overpower him, but learn nothing. "Sad Michael" presents a man who pretends to be deaf and mute until a policeman's question about his wife causes him to blurt out "Shuttup about that!", exposing his pretense.

"Scene three Act one" is a one-act play satirizing labor relations. A factory boss named Fatty confronts Scruddy, a working-class employee, about a labor dispute. Scruddy responds each time with the same verbatim speech, accusing Fatty of being a "rich fat Bourgie." A woman named Mammy enters carrying a bundle and eats it; the bundle turns out to be Fatty's illegitimate daughter. Scruddy threatens a strike unless Mammy is removed from the factory. The scene ends with Fatty, Mammy, and 14 little Jewish children singing a hymn.

"Treasure Ivan" retells Robert Louis Stevenson's Treasure Island through Lennon's distorted lens. Large John Saliver, Small Jack Hawkins, and Blind Jew gather at a pub in "Bristow" before sailing to find treasure. Jack overhears a mutiny plot while hiding in a barrel. On the island, a marooned man named Sten Gunn lives among the treasure. Everyone is arrested upon returning to Bristow, and Large John must pay for a new wooden leg.

Shorter satirical pieces punctuate the collection. "All Abord Speeching" parodies elocution manuals in self-contradicting language. "The Fingletoad Resort of Teddiviscious" mocks television opinion polls with nonsensical survey results. "You Might Well Arsk" poses rapid-fire political questions using mangled names of figures such as Charles de Gaulle and Harold Macmillan, with no answers given. "Liddypool" offers a mock travelogue of Liverpool through distorted place names.

"Nicely Nicely Clive" follows Roger preparing for his wedding to Anne, who uses a wheelchair. The wedding is abruptly cancelled when Anne's father returns from sea. "On Safairy with Whide Hunter," co-written with McCartney, parodies colonial African safari stories as Whide Hunter and his servant Otumba traverse the "jumble" (jungle), and the piece dissolves into nonsense as they shoot at animals. "I Sat Belonely" is a lyric poem in which the speaker hears beautiful singing beneath a tree, falls asleep, and wakes to discover the singer is a tiny pig that flies away.

"Henry and Harry" presents a father-son conflict. Harry, who has lost his legs, insists his son Henry follow the family trade of "Brummer Striving," an unspecified and dying business. Henry wants to be a golfer, but Harry forbids it. Henry runs away, fails to find work, and returns home to find his mother digging in the yard. After calling to her repeatedly, she explains she is burying his father. Henry replies, "All I wanted was a civil answer."

Several poems and short pieces round out the collection. "Deaf Ted, Danoota, (and me)" is an adventure ballad about companions who fight "the baddy baddies" on behalf of "colour, race and cree." "A Surprise for Little Bobby" recounts how Bobby receives a hook to replace a hand lost in the war, but it is for the wrong hand, so he chops off his remaining one. "Unhappy Frank" features a man who despises everything in his house, kicks his elderly mother, sells both house and mother, and leaves England for a country he likes less. "Victor Triumphs Again and Mrs. Weatherby Learns a Lesson" describes villagers staking out a church to catch a supposed grave desecrator; nothing happens. The final poem, "I Remember Arnold," never mentions anyone named Arnold, instead recalling other characters in a parody of sentimental verse before closing with nonsense sounds and a parenthetical "Thank you."