In Pieces

Reynolds’s controlling behavior continued as Field worked on another professional collaboration with him. The film, Hooper, centered on stuntmen’s lives and even included a performance by Field’s stepfather, Jocko. Field then won the title role in the film Norma Rae, a part she was eager to play. This angered Burt, who insisted that she should not play a promiscuous character, and he undermined her acting ability and goals. When Field defended her dream, she felt that she had finally found some inner confidence in her dynamic with Reynolds.

The director of Norma Rae, Marty Ritt, became an important mentor and friend to Field. On set, he was direct and challenging, but always respectful and supportive. Field felt that Ritt helped her expand her acting skills since he challenged her, not to humiliate her but to help her develop as an actor. When he complimented her talent, Field felt it was the most important validation she had ever received. In stark contrast to Ritt’s support, Reynolds continued to disapprove of the film and Field’s hard work on it, which worried Field.

While at first she struggled to relate to the character of Norma Rae, an Alabama factory worker trying to unionize, she can now see the powerful parallels between their experiences. Just as Norma Rae fought for respect and grew in self-confidence, Field also had to ultimately stand up for herself. After her experience in the film, she felt that if she could portray Norma Rae, then she could also be her authentic self.

Over the following months, Field began to express herself more honestly to Reynolds, who reacted negatively whenever she challenged him. Field was excited to attend the Cannes Film Festival, which had accepted Norma Rae as a contender that year, though Reynolds aggressively tried to persuade her not to attend. As usual, he downplayed the film’s chances and predicted that she would not win anything.

Field was a nervous wreck at the premiere, knowing that Cannes audiences could be critical and might simply walk out of a film they disliked. When the film ended, the audience sat in silence for a moment and then rose to their feet, applauding Field for 10 minutes. She won the festival’s award for best actress and, later, the Academy Award as well.

After Field’s Oscar win, she was an in-demand actress for years. In her early forties, she married producer Alan Greisman and gave birth to her third son, Samuel. However, as much as she loved him, she felt overwhelmed at the prospect of beginning the journey of parenthood again while also working and parenting two teens. Moreover, she found it difficult to feel settled and truly at home in her Brentwood house, which she was constantly changing.

A nagging sense of inadequacy plagued her, and she worried about losing her acting career. She continued to work, hoping to be taken seriously and receive validation. These feelings of insecurity made it impossible for her to enjoy and accept even the best parts of her career. For instance, when Steven Spielberg told her he wanted to cast her as Mary Todd in Lincoln, she hardly felt excited but instead was certain that the part would be taken from her. In her late fifties, Field was crushed when her career slowed. Because of the continued pressure of providing for her mother and three sons, she took on a new project: the TV drama series Brothers and Sisters on ABC.

Field’s ailing mother, now 87, moved in with her, locking the mother-daughter pair in a familiar dynamic, as Field wanted her mother’s support and attention but also felt irritated by her presence. Field was sad and worried for her mom, who had been diagnosed with cancer again, and felt “panicked and futureless” herself (536). Lincoln was continually delayed, and Field worried about it: One part of her was determined to get the role, while another inner voice was trying to prepare herself for disappointment and humiliation.

Field began therapy with Dr. Dan Siegel, who asked her to label and explain the different parts of herself. Field was intrigued, immediately recalling her scenes of multiple personalities in Sybil. One day, Dr. Siegel and Field discussed her relationship with her mother, and he explained that since children need their parents to survive, they tend to idealize them. If children feel in danger or insecure, they might internalize the problem, thinking that something is wrong with them rather than their parents. This revelation prompted Field to recall a memory from only five years earlier, in which her mother vaguely hinted that she had known about Jocko’s sexual abuse of Field. Field had written about this painful conversation in her diary, but never really processed it. Now in her early sixties, Field finally understood that she had fervently idealized her mother her whole life, assuming that she would have protected her from Jocko, when Field was really her own protector as a child.

Field brought her new realizations to the latest challenge in her professional life: the role of Mary Todd in Lincoln. When Spielberg told her that he no longer saw her in the role, Field assertively told him that he was wrong and insisted on a screen test. While the test was a disappointment to Field and Spielberg, the film’s star, Daniel Day-Lewis, was intrigued and asked to meet Field. After another screen test with Day-Lewis, Field was offered the part.

While she was ecstatic to play the role, Field kept her enthusiasm from her mother, whom she had been feeling colder toward. Days went by, and Field finally opened up a conversation over dinner, eventually asking what her mother really knew about her stepfather’s sexual abuse. Her mother admitted that she knew of one episode of abuse and that Jocko had asked for her forgiveness. When Field revealed that it was not one incident but a repeated pattern in her childhood, her mother reacted with sadness and disbelief, wishing that she had known. The next morning, Margaret apologized to Field for neglecting to protect her, and Field felt a sense of relief and closure.

As Field prepared to play Mary Todd, her mother was as supportive as ever despite her failing health. Field asked her mother to stay alive until the end of the film’s shoot in Virginia so that they could be together again afterward. Field called her every day to chat, and one day felt that she had to give her mother permission to pass away. The next day, her mother’s condition worsened, and Field flew back to California to be with her. On Field’s 65th birthday, her mother passed away, surrounded by family. With filming ongoing, Field channeled her grief into her performance when, a week later, she filmed Mary Todd’s bereavement for her husband.

Field reflects on how her mother’s passing made her rethink parenting. She feels that parents’ relationships with their adult children are incredibly important. While her mother was a flawed person who made serious mistakes as a parent, she remained a steady and involved presence in her daughter’s and grandchildren’s lives. Field praises her mother for always being a supportive presence in her life and helping her understand herself. Field completes her memoir by expressing her continued love and grief for her mother.