47 pages • 1-hour read
It's a Love Story
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Themes
Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of death, bullying, and mental illness.
Reconciling Past and Present Identities
It’s a Love Story traces Jane’s internal work to balance who she once was with the person she wants to become. At 33 years old, Jane feels trapped by fear and insecurity. Her social anxiety and shame over past mistakes keep her lodged in an immature iteration of herself. Although Jane knows how “to show up for work looking like a winner” (1), she uses clothing, hair styling, and makeup to disguise her true self. Jane was a child actor and is thus familiar with manipulating her exterior to control how others see her. Although years have passed since her appearance on the television series Pop Rocks, Jane still feels like a teenager at her core—incapable of expressing her veritable emotions, needs, and dreams. As she grows over the course of the novel, Monaghan traces her journey to explore the necessity of leaving one’s past behind in order to move ahead into a fulfilling, mature life.
To reconcile with her past, Jane must learn to confront her mistakes, disappointments, and traumas. For Jane, this means acknowledging the ways that she’s been hurt—in vocational, social, and familial contexts. Jane was not only bullied and demeaned by her co-stars on Pop Rocks, but her father abandoned her and then died, and she’s never had a lasting romantic connection. These aspects of her personal history dictate how Jane behaves and regards herself in the present. Jane wants to “be doing whatever [her] forever is going to be”; she wants to make “big career strides with a partner by [her] side,” “have a pet,” and know “how to use an oven” (6). Although these desires are small, they represent the confidence, assuredness, and stability Jane associates with adulthood. However, until she confronts her pain from her past, she can’t realize this centered version of herself in the present.
Jane’s experiences on Long Island with Dan Finnegan and his family usher her toward lasting personal change. For years, “burying shame [has been Jane’s] superpower” (29). The humiliation she experienced on the set of Pop Rocks, the pain she’s experienced in the context of her father’s abandonment and death, her mother’s dishonesty, and the disappointment she’s experienced in her short-lived romantic relationships have held Jane back. However, once she and Dan start to share the truth about their pasts, Jane begins to make peace with her regrets and to move forward. The repeated images of her studying her reflection in the mirror, loosening her hair, dressing down, and engaging in deep conversation and amusing activities on Long Island convey her gradual pursuit of self-realization. By the novel’s end, Jane and Dan are not only committed partners, but Jane is a more realized woman. Her home life is happy and life-giving, and her work is edifying and fulfilling. When Jane gains her happy ending, Monaghan makes the point that for true emotional growth, it is essential to move beyond the past and look toward the future.
The Importance of Vulnerability in Intimate Relationships
In many areas of her life, Jane is closed off, but from the very beginning, her relationship with Dan is different. The evolution of Jane and Dan’s romantic dynamic is inspired by the characters’ willingness to open up to and be vulnerable with one another. Through Jane’s character arc and the development of her relationship with Dan, the novel highlights the importance of vulnerability to true intimacy.
At the novel’s start, Jane is closed off, not only to Dan but also to intimate relationships at large. The only person she’s truly honest with is her best friend Clem—Jane isn’t even honest with her mother. In the context of romantic relationships, Jane operates according to her highly curated “Manifest a Solid Partner project,” which includes “a basic checklist” of qualities each potential partner must possess (67). Jane’s list symbolizes her desperation for control. By way of contrast, vulnerability is a loss of control; it requires risk and trust that Jane isn’t accustomed to. Jane fears vulnerability because of her past experiences. In particular, when Jane tried embracing her true feelings and identity as a teenager, her Pop Rocks co-stars ridiculed and shamed her. This is why, for example, Jane hasn’t owned her natural singing talents. Singing is a soulful expression of feeling, that Jane is afraid to embrace any longer. Her internal monologue regarding her relationship with singing provides insight into her reluctance to be vulnerable: “I don’t dislike singing. In fact, sometimes it feels like magic. […] But it’s not a thing I do in front of people anymore. Not even my mom. It was a joyful thing that turned sour and false. What’s inside of me can stay right where it is” (126). Jane perceives her emotions as shameful. Sharing them with others, she fears, will cause her more hurt and pain. In the present, therefore, she must learn to overcome this insecurity and to open up to others. Doing so ultimately leads her on a path to renewal, love, and happiness she never thought was possible for herself.
Dan’s willingness to be vulnerable with Jane helps her trust and open up to him. Further, the quality time they spend together on Long Island offers organic opportunities for the characters to open their hearts to each other. Sharing the same bedroom, lying on the beach, taking boat rides, eating ice cream, attending parties, biking around Oak Shore, and making art together are all pastimes that represent and facilitate intimacy between Jane and Dan. During these scenes, Dan tells Jane about his past relationships, his role in the Finnegan family, and his dreams for the future. Jane not only listens to Dan but also eventually shares parallel stories and longings of her own. This reciprocity deepens their bond. Jane and Dan’s relationship works because they trust one another. Further, they value each other’s emotions, whether negative or positive. Vulnerability helps them understand and see each other, and with their deeper connection, Monaghan emphasizes the importance of authenticity and honesty to true connection.
The Transformative Power of Friendship and Family
Although It’s a Love Story is a romance novel, within it, Monaghan delves into all of Jane’s relationships to explore the importance of friends and family. Her time on Long Island offers her a new perspective on the importance of solid support systems, and she takes this new point of view home and applies it to the other relationships in her life. Through Jane’s journey to build new relationships and strengthen old ones, the novel explores the importance of the support of friends and family to personal growth and healing.
For Jane, at the beginning of the novel, friends and family are difficult concepts to grasp. Her dad abandoned her and her mom when she was a toddler, and he died shortly thereafter. She has no paternal figure in her life and even believes that her dad didn’t want or love her. Although she and her mom are close, Jane doesn’t open up to her mom in real ways. She doesn’t agree with her mom’s definition of love, dating history, or dreamy engagement with reality. However, Jane doesn’t share these frustrations with her mom “because it [would feel] like a betrayal” (26). With the exception of her friendship with Clem, Jane is entirely isolated. She rarely pursues new connections, largely avoids dating, and intentionally regulates time with her mom. These aspects of Jane’s social experience have augmented her longing for love, acceptance, and security over time, and as the novel begins, she often feels isolated.
The week that Jane spends in Oak Shore with Dan and his family challenges her understanding of family and friendship. Dan’s family life and intimate relationships starkly contrast with Jane’s, and the Finnegans welcome Jane into their family culture without guile. Their hospitality, generosity, grace, and empathy soften Jane’s heart. In turn, she begins to imagine what integration into such a family would mean:
It’s hard for an only child to imagine growing up with all of those people vying for attention and space. […] Tonight wasn’t a party; it was just his family sitting around the table exchanging good-hearted insults. I try to picture doing that every day for eighteen years. I try to imagine coming home to my very own people (97).
Because Jane doesn’t have siblings and only grew up with her mom, Dan’s family life feels foreign. At the same time, she instantly understands how life-giving the Finnegans’ familial dynamic is. The five brothers both tease and support each other. Maureen and Cormack Finnegan love and challenge their children. The extended family—including spouses and children—adds levity, heart, and excitement to this network of people. In just a few days, Jane becomes a part of this intricate network, too. The love she’s shown in turn inspires her to contribute to family life and imagine a different relationship with her mom.
After Jane returns from Long Island, she pursues healing in her familial and platonic relationships, transformations inspired by her time with the Finnegans. She deepens her connection with Clem, devoting more time to their relationship and accepting Clem’s counsel. She confronts her mom about her frustrations, pursuing change and renewal together. Further, she develops a new support system with Dan when they enter a committed relationship. Surrounded by loved ones, Jane becomes a stronger, more confident woman, fulfilling the novel’s message about the importance of the love and support of friends and family to one’s sense of self and self-worth.
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