53 pages • 1-hour read
Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating
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Background
Genre Context: The Enduring Appeal of the Friends-to-Lovers Trope
Josh and Hazel’s Guide to Not Dating centers around the friends-to-lovers trope, a popular and enduring narrative convention in romance fiction. In this structure, two characters begin as platonic friends and gradually develop romantic feelings, with the plot focusing on the tension and eventual resolution of their shifting relationship. The trope’s appeal is present across the romance genre, including popular novels like Emily Henry’s People We Meet on Vacation (2021), Tessa Bailey’s Hook, Line, and Sinker (2022), and Ali Hazelwood’s The Love Hypothesis (2021). Its effectiveness often lies in its psychological resonance; it reflects the real-world phenomenon of attraction growing from familiarity and trust, a concept related to the “mere exposure effect” in social psychology, which suggests that people tend to prefer things they are familiar with. (Cherry, Kendra. “Mere Exposure Effect: How Familiarity Breeds Attraction.” Verywell Mind, 17 Mar. 2023). A romance with someone familiar, especially a friend, can be a balm to the potential apprehension of starting a new relationship.
Friendship, with its established emotional intimacy and shared history between the characters, provides a strong foundation for a believable and satisfying romantic partnership. Josh and Hazel’s Guide to Not Dating explicitly frames its narrative within this convention. From the beginning, Hazel is determined to maintain a platonic relationship, stating, “I knew Josh and I were destined to be best friends and I could never, ever mess it up by trying to sleep with him” (4). Their agreement not to date becomes the plot’s central premise, forcing them into a series of disastrous dates with other people, which ironically only highlights their own compatibility. By embracing this trope, the authors create a low-stakes environment for Josh and Hazel’s witty and authentic dynamic to flourish, making their eventual transition from friends to partners feel both realistic and inevitable.
Social Context: Navigating the Anxieties of 21st-Century Dating
Josh and Hazel’s Guide to Not Dating captures the complexities and anxieties of contemporary dating culture, reflecting a landscape transformed by technology and shifting social norms. The novel’s central plot device, in which Josh and Hazel set each other up on a series of progressively worse double dates, mirrors the sense of exhaustion and disillusionment common in modern dating. Real-world data corroborates this experience; one 2023 study from the Pew Research Center found that 57% of single Americans are not looking for casual dates or relationships (Gelles-Watnick, Risa. “For Valentine’s Day, 5 Facts About Single Americans.” Pew Research Center, 8 Feb. 2023). The study also found that 45% of American singles have recently turned to online dating in their quests for love (Gelles-Watnick). Another 2023 study from the Pew Research Center found that nearly half of recent online daters reported a negative experience, citing issues like dishonesty and harassment (McClain, Colleen, and Risa Gelles-Watnick. “The Experiences of U.S. Online Daters.” Pew Research Center, 2 Feb. 2023).
Though online dating doesn’t play a prominent role in the novel, the discouragement single people face in the dating world appears often throughout the plot. The novel’s characters face similar frustrations, such as the date who interrogates Hazel about her retirement plan and another who sexually propositions Josh under the table and in the bathroom. These comical but disheartening encounters illustrate a dating culture that can often feel transactional and superficial.
Furthermore, the novel explores how technology mediates and complicates modern relationships. Josh’s long-distance relationship with his girlfriend, Tabitha, is maintained primarily through digital communication, and its demise is confirmed by a misdirected, sexually explicit text message meant for another man. This moment highlights the impersonal and often brutal nature of both relationships and breakups in the digital age. By depicting these relatable struggles, the novel grounds its romance in a recognizable social reality. The awkwardness and absurdity of the modern dating world emphasize the rare and refreshing authenticity of the connection Josh and Hazel share, suggesting that genuine intimacy offers a refuge from the pressures of 21st-century courtship.
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