Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating

Gather initial thoughts and broad opinions about the book.

1. What were your overall thoughts about Josh and Hazel’s Guide to Not Dating? What elements of the novel did you enjoy most? Which did you enjoy least?

2. What was your experience reading from the dual perspectives of Hazel and Josh? How did having access to both of their internal thoughts shape your understanding of their relationship and its challenges?

3. How does Josh and Hazel’s Guide to Not Dating compare to other books you may have read by Christina Lauren, such as The Unhoneymooners or Love and Other Words? Do you see a signature style or recurring themes in their work?

Encourage readers to connect the book’s themes and characters with their personal experiences.

1. Hazel is committed to being her authentic, eccentric self, refusing to become a “Regular Girlfriend” for anyone. Have you ever felt pressure to tone down parts of your personality to fit in, either in relationships or other social situations?

2. Josh begins the story as a very orderly and reserved person but learns to embrace the “color” and spontaneity Hazel brings to his life. Can you think of a time when stepping out of your comfort zone or embracing a little chaos led to a positive experience?

3. The novel champions the idea that the best romances are built on a strong friendship. What qualities do you think are most essential in a friendship, and how do those qualities translate into a successful romantic partnership?

4. Hazel’s mother, Aileen, is a powerful example of someone who lives life on her own terms, which clearly influenced Hazel. Was there anyone in your life who modeled a similar kind of joyful nonconformity for you?

5. Much of the book’s humor comes from a series of disastrously mismatched dates. What do these failed dates reveal about what Josh and Hazel are actually looking for in a partner? What do you think makes a date truly “disastrous”?

Examine the book’s relevance to societal issues, historical events, or cultural themes.

1. The story reflects many anxieties of 21st-century dating, from misdirected texts to the feeling of being interviewed for a position rather than connecting with a person. In what ways do you think the novel accurately captures the current dating landscape?

2. How does the book challenge traditional ideas of “normalcy” in relationships? What message does it send about the value of finding a partner who celebrates your quirks rather than just tolerating them?

3. What role does Josh’s Korean American identity play in his character development? How do his family values and sense of duty contrast with Hazel’s worldview and contribute to the story’s depth?

Dive into the book’s structure, characters, themes, and symbolism.

1. The recurring motif of the double dates drives much of the plot. How does this narrative device ironically highlight Josh and Hazel’s compatibility?

2. How does this novel use the trope to build a believable and satisfying emotional journey for its characters? What makes the friends-to-lovers trope so enduring in romance fiction? 

3. Hazel’s ex-boyfriend, Tyler Jones, seems to appreciate her “wild girl” persona but ultimately wants her to conform. How does his character function as a critique of people who express only superficial acceptance of others?

4. What narrative function do Emily and Dave serve in the story? How do their opinions and interventions help guide both the characters toward understanding the central relationship?

5. How do the descriptions of Hazel’s “full” apartment and Josh’s orderly house serve as extensions of their personalities? How does their time spent in each other’s spaces, and the way they feel about those spaces, underscore what the characters offer each other?

Encourage imaginative and creative connections to the book.

1. Hazel’s version of a “playdate” for Josh involved making colored clay. If you were to design the next platonic “adventure” for them, what would it be, and why would it be the perfect activity to showcase their dynamic?

2. If Christina Lauren were to write a spin-off book in the same universe as Josh and Hazel’s Guide to Not Dating, which characters do you think would serve as protagonists? What do you think would happen in the novel? 

3. Josh kept the framed, misspelled email from their college days. What other small, seemingly insignificant object from one of their early encounters do you imagine Hazel might have kept, and what special meaning would it hold for her?