Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating

“Dera Josh.,

[…]

i love you,

Hazel Bradford (it’s Hazel not Haley like you said it’s ok don’t be embearassed emberessed sad)

Incidentally, he also has his reply printed out, and framed just below it:

Hazel-not-Haley,

I can make this exception. And don’t worry, I’m not embarrassed. It’s not like I puked in your shoes or rolled around naked on your couch.

Josh”

This epistolary exchange establishes the novel’s central dynamic and humorous tone through Hazel’s distinct, unfiltered voice, characterized by misspellings and emotional sincerity. Josh’s response, which references their prior mortifying encounters, demonstrates an early acceptance of her chaotic nature. The physical act of framing the emails transforms a moment of humiliation into a foundational artifact of their relationship, symbolizing its origins in honesty and establishing, early on, Josh’s understanding of the value of Challenging Social Expectations of Normalcy.

“‘I always thought I caught you in…a phase.’ His left eyebrow makes a fancy arch. ‘Apparently you’re just like this.’

‘I feel like I have a lot to apologize for,’ I admit, ‘but I can’t be sure I won’t be constantly exasperating you, so maybe I’ll just wait until we’re elderly.’”

In this dialogue, Josh’s observation confirms that Hazel’s core characteristic is not a temporary affectation; it is an authentic part of her identity. Hazel’s self-aware and witty response deflects any potential judgment, instead reframing her personality as a permanent fixture in their future interactions. Her humorous proposal to postpone apologies until they are “elderly” foreshadows a lasting bond, setting the stage for the theme Friendship as the Foundation for Enduring Love.

“I remember clearly one fight they had in front of me where he told her, ‘I hate it when you act like a weirdo out in public. You’re so fucking embarrassing.’ […] I learned a very important thing that day: my mom would never try to change for a man, and I wouldn’t, either.”

This flashback provides the philosophical origin for Hazel’s resolute individuality, rooting it in a formative childhood experience. Her father’s dialogue represents the societal pressure to conform that Hazel actively rejects, while her mother’s reaction models a quiet resistance.