Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating

The novel’s narrative structure, established in these opening chapters, prioritizes character interiority and thematic groundwork over a conventional plot-driven opening. The prologue, told exclusively from Hazel’s perspective, functions as a thematic introduction, front-loading the narrative with her most mortifying collegiate encounters with Josh. By beginning with a series of self-deprecating anecdotes—vomiting on his shoes, being discovered mid-sex with his roommate, sending a painkiller-fueled email—the text bypasses romantic pretense and establishes Hazel’s core trait: radical, unapologetic authenticity. This structural choice illustrates that her character is not someone who comes to embrace her eccentricity; instead, she has always embraced her nature. Josh’s chapters reveal a significant gap between his reserved external demeanor and his internal fascination with Hazel. His internal monologue confirms an immediate attraction and bemusement that his terse dialogue obscures, allowing the dual-narrator structure to build a foundation of mutual, if unacknowledged, interest.

Hazel’s characterization is a direct embodiment of one of the novel’s central themes, Finding Authentic Connection by Embracing Personal Eccentricity. She does not evolve toward self-acceptance; she begins there. Her identity is built on a collection of quirks and past humiliations that she wields not as sources of shame but as markers of authenticity. Her unfiltered declaration at the barbecue that Josh has “already seen [her] boobs” is not merely a comedic slip; it is a deliberate rejection of social decorum (14). This behavior receives deeper context from the memory of her father’s criticism of her mother for being “embarrassing.” This formative experience solidifies Hazel and her mother’s rejection of conformity for male approval. She represents a direct challenge to the trope of the quirky heroine who must be tamed or refined by love. Instead, the narrative positions her unwavering commitment to her unique personality as the standard against which she measures potential partners. 

In direct contrast to Hazel’s vibrant nonconformity, Josh initially appears as a figure of careful order and conventionality, which his relationship with Tabitha reinforces. Tabitha functions less as a character in the narrative and more as a symbol of a life built on superficiality and external expectations—a world of fashion magazines, social media debates, and last-minute cancellations. Emily’s pointed critique of Josh and Tabitha’s incompatibility articulates one of the story’s major conflicts: the tension between a life of genuine connection and one of curated appearances. Josh’s defense of Tabitha is lukewarm, and his private thoughts reveal a relationship sustained by physical attraction rather than deep emotional intimacy. This dynamic positions him at a crossroads, caught between the “normal” relationship he believes he should have and the chaotic, authentic connection Hazel offers. The introduction of Josh’s Korean American identity, through details like bringing apples as a customary gift and the distinction between his American and Korean names, grounds his character in specific cultural values that provide a deeper understanding of his nature and choices, while sharpening the contrast between Tabitha’s flakiness and Hazel’s freewheeling spirit.

These initial chapters construct the theme of Friendship as the Foundation for Enduring Love by subverting the conventions of romantic pursuit. The narrative actively resists a “will-they-won’t-they” dynamic by having the characters themselves establish a platonic framework. Hazel’s declaration that they are destined to be best friends is a sincere belief rooted in their shared history; because he has already witnessed her at her worst, the pressure to perform a “datable” version of herself is eliminated. This allows for an immediate, unguarded intimacy to develop. When Josh suspects Tabitha of cheating, he does not retreat into stoic silence; instead, he shares the incriminating texts with Hazel, a person he has only just reconnected with. Her response is not romantic opportunism but compassionate support, culminating in the offer to watch her comfort movie, Aliens. This act of shared comfort establishes a platonic precedent for their dynamic. The framed email, a physical artifact from their college days that Josh has preserved for a decade, also functions as a symbol of this pre-existing bond. It represents a connection that was never romantic but was significant enough for him to memorialize, signifying that the foundation for their relationship was laid long before any romantic possibilities emerge.

The motif of Hazel’s embarrassing anecdotes is one of the narrative’s primary engines for comedy, plot, and thematic development. The prologue is a curated collection of these moments, which neutralizes romantic tension and creates space for a genuine friendship to form. This pattern continues in the present, where Hazel’s unfiltered commentary and awkward encounters paradoxically draw Josh closer rather than pushing him away. The plot itself is catalyzed by an incident that validates the novel’s thematic arguments: Tabitha’s infidelity. The sexually explicit text, almost certainly meant for another man, is the concrete evidence that exposes the superficiality of Josh’s current relationship. It is not a dramatic confrontation or a slow emotional decay that ends things, but a stark, undeniable moment of betrayal that reveals a lack of genuine connection. The text’s arrival during Josh and Hazel’s playdate creates a pivotal moment of juxtaposition. As Josh’s ostensibly “normal” relationship implodes due to deceit, he finds authentic comfort and stability in Hazel’s eccentric but honest presence. This sequence firmly establishes one of the novel’s premises: A bond forged in honesty is more resilient and valuable than a romance built on a foundation of carefully maintained appearances.