53 pages • 1-hour read
Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating
A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Symbols & Motifs
Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of sexual content and substance use.
The Double Dates
The series of orchestrated double dates functions as one of the novel’s central narrative motifs, ironically creating the ideal conditions for Josh and Hazel to fall in love through their insistence that they are not dating. This recurring plot device is the primary vehicle for developing the theme of Friendship as the Foundation for Enduring Love. By removing the pressures of courtship, the dates allow Josh and Hazel to build a genuine, unguarded connection based on shared experiences and mutual support.
Their stated goal is to find compatible partners for each other, but the disastrous outcomes consistently prove the opposite: Their own compatibility is magnified with each failed setup. The dates become less about the people they are with and more about the adventure they are on together. As Hazel notes, the dates were fun because they felt like “adventures,” and she is sad when they end because she enjoys “hanging out with” Josh (241). This admission reveals the true purpose of the motif, transforming the awkward encounters with their dates into the building blocks of their relationship. The failure of each date reinforces their unique bond, proving that their connection is more authentic and resilient than any romance built on conventional expectations could ever be.
Hazel’s Embarrassing Anecdotes
Hazel’s constant recounting of her past humiliations is a recurring motif that establishes her character’s self-acceptance and forms the bedrock of her relationship with Josh. This pattern directly supports the themes of Finding Authentic Connection by Embracing Personal Eccentricity and Challenging Social Expectations of Normalcy. Rather than hiding her flaws, Hazel leads with them, using her embarrassing anecdotes as a filter to weed out anyone incapable of appreciating her authentic self.
These stories, from vomiting on Josh’s shoes to her painkiller-fueled email, are not just jokes; they are declarations of her identity. The most potent example is the email she sent to Josh in college, which he framed. Her earnest, misspelled plea, concluding with “i love you” (4), becomes a testament to their bond. Josh’s decision to cherish this memory rather than dismiss it demonstrates his early acceptance of her unique personality. It transforms a moment of deep embarrassment into a cherished artifact of their friendship, proving he is someone who celebrates, rather than shuns, her energy. This foundation of humor and vulnerability allows for a level of honesty that makes their eventual romance possible, proving that true connection thrives in the absence of pretense.
The CHEESY Hat
The bright orange and yellow CHEESY hat is a symbol that marks the climax of Josh’s emotional journey and affirms the novel’s theme of embracing personal eccentricity. Appearing at a critical moment, the hat represents Josh’s complete and unconditional acceptance of Hazel’s unique personality. He gives her the hat immediately after her ex-boyfriend, Tyler, calls her “embarrassing” for dancing joyfully in public, a criticism that strikes at the core of her anxieties about being “too much” for a partner.
Josh’s gift is a direct and powerful refutation of Tyler’s judgment. By telling her, “You look ridiculous in that. I hope you wear it all day” (255), Josh reappropriates a word meant to wound (“ridiculous”) and transforms it into an expression of affection, showing that he actively celebrates her quirks. The hat, in all its garish glory, is a tangible promise that he will never be the man who is ashamed of her. It symbolizes his evolution to understanding Hazel as a vibrant presence in his life, solidifying that he loves her not despite her eccentricities but because of them.
Unlock the meaning behind every key symbol & motif
See how recurring imagery, objects, and ideas shape the narrative.
- Explore how the author builds meaning through symbolism
- Understand what symbols & motifs represent in the text
- Connect recurring ideas to themes, characters, and events