Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating

The series of orchestrated double dates functions as one of the novel’s central narrative motifs, ironically creating the ideal conditions for Josh and Hazel to fall in love through their insistence that they are not dating. This recurring plot device is the primary vehicle for developing the theme of Friendship as the Foundation for Enduring Love. By removing the pressures of courtship, the dates allow Josh and Hazel to build a genuine, unguarded connection based on shared experiences and mutual support.

Their stated goal is to find compatible partners for each other, but the disastrous outcomes consistently prove the opposite: Their own compatibility is magnified with each failed setup. The dates become less about the people they are with and more about the adventure they are on together. As Hazel notes, the dates were fun because they felt like “adventures,” and she is sad when they end because she enjoys “hanging out with” Josh (241). This admission reveals the true purpose of the motif, transforming the awkward encounters with their dates into the building blocks of their relationship. The failure of each date reinforces their unique bond, proving that their connection is more authentic and resilient than any romance built on conventional expectations could ever be.