Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating

Josh and Hazel’s Guide to Not Dating champions the idea that genuine compatibility arises from celebrating personal quirks rather than conforming to conventional standards. Through Hazel Bradford’s unwavering commitment to her eccentric self, the novel suggests that authentic connection is found not in changing for someone but in finding someone who loves you for your unique qualities. Hazel’s eccentricities define her, from her self-aware list of “undatable” traits to her habit of embarrassing herself. A conscious refusal to compromise her personality for a relationship shapes her identity, a lesson learned from watching her father criticize her mother for being “embarrassing.” This history solidifies Hazel’s resolve to remain her authentic self, establishing the novel’s central argument that true love requires radical self-acceptance. 

Hazel understands that past boyfriends expected her to eventually “chill a little and become more Regular Girlfriend” (83), an expectation she refuses to meet. This commitment to authenticity is ultimately what allows her to find a true partner in Josh Im. Initially, Josh views Hazel as a “hot exasperating mess” (28), a chaotic force at odds with his orderly life. However, his perspective shifts as he spends more time with her, and he begins to see her not as an annoyance but as “color in a monotone landscape” (28).