Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

On their way to John the Baptist, the trio passes Maggie’s home, but Joshua says that they can’t visit her. Jakan is now a member of the Sanhedrin, a powerful “council of priests and Pharisees who made most of the decisions for the Jewish community” (318). When they find John at the River Jordan, the Baptist identifies Joshua as the Messiah to a crowd of 500, but all Joshua can manage is a sheepish smile and a wave.

Joshua spends the next year refining his message and learning the art of public speaking from John. For example, John suggests that Joshua rename the Divine Spark of Hinduism the “Holy Ghost” to help his Jewish audience understand the concept that God is in everyone. John’s thunderous preaching against promiscuity draws the ire of Governor Herod Antipas, who married his brother’s wife.

One day, John baptizes Joshua, and the voice of God claims Joshua as his son. Joshua doesn’t hear the message because he is underwater at the time, and he furiously resolves to fast in the desert until God talks to him. In Joshua’s absence, Biff hurries to Maggie’s home and finds her even more beautiful than he remembers and just as spirited and witty as ever. Maggie runs to him and kisses him. Their reunion is cut short by Jakan’s return home, and Maggie tells Biff to bring Joshua and meet her at a wedding in Cana the following month. Forty days later, an emaciated and exhausted Joshua drags himself out of the desert. Biff catches Joshua when he falls and has food and water prepared for his friend. Joshua tells Biff that he saw the Devil in the desert and resisted the temptations of power, wealth, and sex. Biff tells Joshua that Maggie is dying and that they need to go to Cana.

Philip, a recent acolyte of John the Baptist, and his friend Nathaniel join the expedition to Cana. When they reach the wedding, Joshua is so surprised to see Maggie that he falls off his camel. Maggie cradles the winded Messiah’s head in her lap and kisses him. Watching Joshua and Maggie dance together, her older sister, Martha, frets that Jakan is “a bully with power” who would have Maggie stoned “just to prove that he could do it” (334). Mary arrives at the wedding, informs Joshua that Herod has arrested John, and convinces him to turn water into wine for the guests. Joshua tries to numb his guilt over John by becoming intoxicated. Biff asks Maggie to join them in their travels, but she asks why she should follow “a man who doesn’t want [her] and wouldn’t take [her] if he did” (336). Still, she promises to stay in touch. A man named Andrew hears of Joshua’s miracles and invites his followers to his home, bringing the group’s numbers to six.

In Capernaum, Andrew’s brother, Peter, and their fellow fishermen, James and John, decide to follow Joshua after witnessing him cure a group of people with leprosy. Over the next few months, the Messiah travels throughout the region of Galilee preaching and healing. One Sabbath, Justus, the Roman centurion, kneels at Joshua’s feet and asks him to heal his ill servant. Joshua heals the man, and the centurion advises Joshua to be careful. The Pharisees object to Joshua healing people on the Sabbath, but he ignores their lectures.

Biff recruits a tax collector named Matthew by pointing out how women flock to the celibate Joshua, bringing the group up to 10. Joshua decides to preach to the gentiles. On the way to Gadarene, a tempest nearly sinks the boat. Joshua calms the storm with a wave of his hand, greatly impressing Matthew. A man afflicted by the demon Legion hurls rocks at them from the shore, and Joshua heals the man by sending the demon into a herd of pigs, who then drown themselves. Enraged at the loss of their livestock, a mob chases Joshua and his followers back into their boat. The Messiah sees this as a learning experience: “If they’d been Jews that pig thing would have gone over great. I’m new at gentiles” (351).

Jakan invites Joshua to spend the week of Passover at his home in Bethany. Biff accompanies his friend because he fears for his safety and wants to see Maggie. Jakan and several other Pharisees try to trap Joshua into admitting that he’s broken religious laws. Joshua responds with fearless honesty, “crafting parables and throwing their own piety back in their faces” (356). Biff sneaks outside to meet Maggie and gives her a pouch containing red and green powders and a set of instructions. The powders help her to pretend that she is possessed by demons by making it look as though she is foaming at the mouth and bleeding from her eyes.

Joshua and Biff take Maggie to the home of her brother, Simon. Simon assures Maggie that Jakan will divorce her to save face. Jakan won’t dare to check that Maggie is staying with her brother because Simon has leprosy, freeing her to join Joshua. Maggie tells her friends about the past 17 years of her life, including a miscarriage during her first year of marriage. Joshua blames himself for the infant’s death because he was away at the time, and he and Biff argue about whether he can save everyone. Four more people join Joshua to preach the coming of the kingdom: Thaddeus, Thomas, Simon, and Judas Iscariot. When he first meets Judas, Joshua tells him, “I’ve been waiting for you” (365).

Herod has John beheaded, and Joshua sends some of his apostles to tell John’s acolytes that they are welcome to follow him. Justus sends a Roman soldier with a warning for Joshua, and Judas, a Zealot who despises the Romans, nearly gets himself killed by the messenger before Biff intervenes. Justus’s message warns Joshua that the Pharisees are plotting to kill him and that Herod Antipas fears that he may be the reincarnation of John the Baptist. Maggie advises Joshua to leave Herod’s territory and lie low for a few months. Before he goes, Joshua wants to give a sermon so powerful that it “can serve as if it was [his] last, one that will sustain the lost while [he’s] gone” (371). Joshua and Biff spend a week writing the Sermon on the Mount, which inspires many people to convert and go forth preaching the good news.

Joseph of Arimathea, an influential merchant and a recent convert to Joshua’s message, invites the Messiah and his followers to Jerusalem and informs them that Maggie’s brother is dying. During the journey, Biff and Maggie overhear Thomas tell Joshua: “You don’t have long with us” (379). When the Messiah confirms this to be true, Maggie swears that she’ll never forgive Biff if something happens to Joshua. Simon has been dead for four days when Joshua arrives. Joseph of Arimathea meets him at Simon’s tomb and witnesses Joshua raising the man from the dead.

Joseph of Arimathea invites Joshua to dinner at his house so that he can explain his ministry to the Pharisees in a safe setting. Although Joshua is meant to go alone, Maggie urges Biff to follow him with a kiss and a promise that she loves Biff. During the dinner (which is largely an interrogation), Biff sees a priest arrive with two armed Temple guards. Fearing that they’ve come to arrest his best friend, Biff knocks the guards unconscious and breaks their spears. Joshua heals the guards when he leaves Joseph’s home. Maggie thanks Biff for his efforts but declines to sleep with him.

Joshua and his followers travel to Capernaum, where they receive a warning from Joseph of Arimathea: “Pharisee council condemned you to death for blasphemy. Herod concurs” (387). Joshua preaches to a great crowd, multiplies food, performs countless healings, and astounds even his closest followers by walking on water. At Joshua’s encouragement, Peter also attempts to walk on water. Touched by his faith, Joshua declares that Peter will lead his church. He then informs his disciples that he will be put to death in Jerusalem during the Passover that spring and rise again after three days. Later that day, Joshua is appalled to hear that some of his apostles, including Judas, believe that he will lead a military revolt against the Romans. He calls the group together and emphasizes that the kingdom of heaven, which is open to everyone, is not the worldly kingdom of Israel.

Biff tells Maggie about the feast of Kali, explains that the rituals convinced Joshua that blood sacrifices should be done away with, and surmises that Joshua will “allow himself to be killed to show his father that things need to be changed” (395). Despite his friends’ pleas, Joshua sets out for Jerusalem.

A prophecy speaks of the Messiah entering Jerusalem on a donkey colt, so the apostles try to thwart Joshua’s plan to sacrifice himself by refusing to bring him a donkey. Joshua reiterates that he must die and rise from the dead, saying: “If you love me, you will accept what I’m telling you” (402). Maggie spends the group’s communal funds on a costly ointment used to prepare bodies for burial. Judas berates Maggie for the expense and storms out. Maggie anoints Joshua’s feet and head with the ointment. When he tries to take her hand, Maggie steps away and tells him that “[a] dead man can’t love [...]. Be still” (403).

As Joshua, Biff, and the apostles enter the city, they see a group of Pharisees dragging a woman toward the gates to stone her for adultery. Joshua saves the woman’s life by writing the Pharisees’ sins in the dust on the road and challenging anyone among them without sin to throw the first stone.

Later that day, Joshua drives the vendors and moneychangers from the Temple. Biff is sure that this will incur the priests’ wrath because they take a percentage of the moneychangers’ profits. The situation grows more dire as Roman soldiers notice the disturbance. After driving off the merchants, Joshua heals children while answering challenging questions from the Temple priests, whom he calls a “nest of vipers” (410). For example, he heals a little girl’s withered arm and has her raise her newly cured middle finger at the priests. The interrogation stretches on for hours before Biff grabs Joshua and uses a crowd of ecstatic converts to bring his friend out of the Temple safely. The apostles regroup at the home of Joseph of Arimathea. Their host invites them to celebrate the Passover early in accordance with the customs of the Essene sect, who do not kill lambs for their feast.

On Biff’s orders, the apostles refuse to let Joshua leave Joseph of Arimathea’s house on Tuesday. Joshua admits to Biff that he’s afraid, but he’s certain that he has to sacrifice himself. He urges his friend to believe that he will return.

At dinner that night, Joshua shares bread and wine with his apostles to show them that the Holy Ghost is part of them all. He whispers something to Judas and then announces that one of his apostles will betray him, which prompts Judas to flee into the night. Joshua asks Biff to go to Maggie and Simon’s house and promises that he and the others will meet him there. However, this is a lie, and Joshua goes to Gethsemane knowing that Judas will lead the priests and Temple guards to arrest him there. John races to Biff and Maggie and informs them of Joshua’s arrest. Maggie tells Biff that “[h]e knew you would fight. That’s why he sent you here” (416). Biff hatches a plan to save his friend using the poison from Joy.

On Wednesday morning, Biff and Maggie hurry to the home of Joseph of Arimathea, who explains that Jakan will prosecute Joshua in a trial before the Sanhedrin that afternoon. Biff and Maggie want to see Joshua, but Joseph urges them to stay inside his home so that they won’t be arrested. Biff and Maggie spend the whole day waiting in vain for news and huddling together in “a single lump of low, agonizing grief” (419). That night, they make love as “a desperate way to share the grief [they] felt because [they] were each about to lose someone [they] loved” (419).

On Thursday morning, Simon and Andrew tell Maggie and Biff that Joshua has been found guilty of blasphemy and is being scourged at the high priest’s palace. The Sanhedrin want Pontius Pilate, the Roman authority in the region, to issue a death sentence, but Joseph of Arimathea is going to use his influence to ask for Joshua’s release. Biff decides that their best course of action is to go to Pilate’s praetorium because “[t]here’s no telling what Josh will do to get them to kill him” (421).

Biff spots the Roman centurion, Justus, at Pilate’s residence and persuades Justus to order the soldiers to leave Joshua’s body as intact as possible if he’s crucified. Recalling how Justus asked Joshua to heal his friend, Biff explains that “[y]ou humbled yourself and asked for mercy. That’s all I’m doing” (425). Justus agrees, thinking that Biff can somehow bring Joshua back from the dead. Biff meets Maggie outside the praetorium and sees Pilate present Joshua to the crowd. Jakan leads the mob in demanding Joshua’s crucifixion.

Biff, Maggie, Joseph of Arimathea, Mary, Joshua’s brother James, and the apostles review Biff’s plan. Biff is responsible for administering a poison that will immobilize Joshua and make him appear dead. Joseph of Arimathea received Pilate’s permission to retrieve Joshua’s body, which will be given to Maggie, Mary, and James. Peter has the ability to perform healings, so he’ll be in charge of repairing the wounds from the scourging and nails. Once Joshua is safe, Biff can give him the antidote.

Biff and the apostles disguise themselves and join the crowd that follows Joshua and the other condemned men to Golgotha. Biff strikes up a game of dice with the soldiers stationed at the foot of Joshua’s cross. When Maggie’s friends come to give Joshua a drink of water, Biff stealthily adds the poison to the water. As Biff waits for the poison to take effect, every pained “sound from the cross was like a hot iron driven in [his] spine” (432). One of the Roman soldiers grows impatient and drives his spear into Joshua’s side. Biff is the last person whom Joshua sees before he dies. Sobbing and screaming, Biff is led back toward the city by his friends.

Biff sees Judas near the gates and uses his years of martial arts training to pursue him across Jerusalem. A sudden storm conceals Biff’s approach, and he seizes the traitor near a cypress tree overlooking a cliff. Judas pleads for his life, saying: “I had to do it. Someone did. He would have just reminded us of what we’ll never be” (435). Biff hangs Judas and then steps off of the cliff, dying by suicide.

The narration shifts to third person. Biff completes his Gospel. Raziel takes the book and knocks on a door across the hall, which opens to reveal Maggie, who has also written a Gospel based on her experiences. The angel informs the humans that “[i]t is the will of the Son that you two go out together into this new world” (436). Maggie and Biff kiss, and Biff notes that, as always, Maggie is only with him because she can’t be with Joshua. Maggie explains that Joshua came back and that the other apostles left Biff out of their accounts because his death by suicide angered them and saddened Joshua. Together, Biff and Maggie leave the hotel to start their new life.