Lament for a Son

In the opening pages of Lament for a Son, Wolterstorff begins by describing Eric’s burial on a warm June day. He contrasts the softness of the willow seeds blanketing the ground with the cold, hard reality of his son’s lifeless body. Wolterstorff grapples with the disconnect between the physical remains and his memories of Eric, noting how death stripped away not just Eric’s life, but also the warmth and softness Wolterstorff associated with his son. This stark realization leads him to question the very nature of personhood and its relation to the physical body.

The author then recounts in detail the moment he received the news of Eric’s death. It was a bright Saturday afternoon, and Wolterstorff’s family had just sent Eric’s younger brother off to join him for the summer. Wolterstorff recalls the painful phone conversation with the person who called to inform him of Eric’s accident, capturing the gradual revelation of the tragedy and his own stunned responses. He describes a brief moment of peaceful resignation before the full impact of the painful loss hit him.

Wolterstorff provides a comprehensive background of Eric’s life and character. He describes Eric as a National Merit Scholar who excelled in science and math but ultimately chose to pursue art history. The author highlights Eric’s artistic talents, including his knowledge of music. He portrays Eric as hardworking and goal-oriented, sometimes to a fault, as he would give up activities that didn’t align with his plans. Wolterstorff also emphasizes Eric’s adventurous spirit, recounting his solo travels around the world and his tendency to overestimate his physical abilities.

The narrative delves deeper into Eric’s personality and faith. Wolterstorff describes his son’s ability to find delight in the world around him. He recounts a childhood conversation about the existence of God, noting that while Eric had questions about God, he never seriously doubted. The author reflects on Eric’s love for genuine community worship and his strong faith. Wolterstorff also discusses Eric’s distinctive character, or “inscape,” referencing Gerard Manley Hopkins’s concept to illustrate how Eric left his unique mark on everything he did.

Wolterstorff’s exploration of his grief process is raw and introspective. He describes how Eric’s absence permeates every aspect of life, from family gatherings to everyday encounters. The author laments the permanent void left by Eric’s death. He grapples with the concept of “endless neverness,” the realization that Eric will never again experience life’s simple pleasures or milestones (15). Wolterstorff also reflects on the unnatural order of a child dying before a parent, describing it as deeply wrong and contrary to people’s expectations of the future.

The author’s account of retrieving Eric’s body is filled with emotional and sensory details. He describes the painful contrast of flying to Europe amidst exuberant young travelers, the somber meeting with Eric’s friends in Munich, and the heartbreaking experience of reclaiming his son’s belongings. Wolterstorff portrays the cognitive dissonance of seeing Eric’s neatly-arranged room and intact possessions while grappling with his absence. He also shares the undertaker’s advice against viewing the body, leading Wolterstorff to call up distressing mental images of Eric’s fatal fall.

Wolterstorff’s exploration of Eric’s passion for mountain climbing is both an attempt to understand his son and a reflection on the nature of human pursuits. He speculates that Eric was drawn to climbing for its combination of intellectual and physical challenges, the sublime beauty of untouched nature, and the spiritual experience of facing God in the mountains. The author acknowledges the inherent danger as part of the allure, noting that the “menace is essential to the exhilaration of achievement” (20). He also mentions that, on his way up the mountain, Eric must have passed a memorial to over 50 climbers who had died on the same mountains, adding a haunting element of foreshadowing to the narrative.

Throughout this first section, Wolterstorff intersperses his personal narrative with philosophical and theological reflections. He questions the significance of Eric’s unfinished academic work on architectural history, contemplating whether cultural contributions or personal relationships hold more value in the face of eternity. The author grapples with the meaning of a life cut short, asking whether Eric’s potential academic achievements are to be lamented more than the unrealized future of someone living a life of routine but filled with love and faith. Wolterstorff also incorporates biblical passages, particularly from Job, to frame his reflections on the transient nature of human life and the permanence of loss.

These pages conclude with Wolterstorff expressing a desperate longing to turn back time. He describes standing before the library where Eric spent his final months, unable to see any trace of his son’s presence. The author pleads for the impossible—to stop and rewind time, to give Eric another chance. Wolterstorff’s lament builds to a crescendo of grief, emphasizing the relentless forward movement of time.