Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box

The authors illustrate that every leadership action, whether offering feedback, asking questions, or showing concern, can be carried out in two fundamentally different ways: with an inward mindset that focuses on oneself, or an outward mindset that recognizes and responds to the humanity of others. Theo’s recollection of a formative experience with Lou Herbert, the former CEO of Zagrum, illustrates the distinction. When Theo failed to complete a task, Lou did not shame or punish him but addressed the issue in a direct, compassionate way rooted in mutual respect. Lou’s feedback landed powerfully not because of any technique, but because Theo genuinely felt seen and valued as a person. This anecdote underscores the chapter’s central argument: The impact of leadership depends less on what is said and more on how leaders perceive those they lead.

The chapter critiques the tendency to focus on behavior over mindset and reframes leadership as a relational ethic rather than a set of strategies. This emphasis is timely given contemporary shifts toward emotionally intelligent leadership and servant leadership models. The authors implicitly assume a workplace culture where open feedback and vulnerability are safe, an assumption not always true in hierarchical or punitive organizational settings. However, while the story centers on corporate actors with structural power, its core insight, that authenticity of intent determines trust, remains widely applicable.