58 pages • 1-hour read
Like Mother, Like Daughter
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Themes
The Problem With Keeping Secrets
Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of rape, graphic violence, and death.
In Like Mother, Like Daughter, the characters’ secrets drive their development and the plot. Protagonist Katrina McHugh is characterized by her tendency to keep secrets from others, while other characters, like Cleo, Aidan, and George, deliberately hold onto information that is damaging, contributes to misunderstanding, and otherwise creates conflict.
Katrina keeps almost everything about her life hidden from others. She does not tell her husband, Aidan, or her daughter, Cleo, about her childhood at Haven House or the trauma she experienced there. Aidan knows only vaguely that Katrina “had a hard life” (73). Withholding this information creates enormous problems in Katrina’s life. It makes her vulnerable to extortion and isolated in confronting it because no one else is aware that she attacked Reed when she was a teenager. It also makes it hard for Cleo to relate to her mother because she does not understand why Katrina is so controlling, particularly around Cleo’s romantic relationships. Overall, Cleo has the persistent feeling that her mother is pulling away from her emotionally, highlighting how Katrina’s secrets resonate through other areas of her life. Katrina’s other secrets create problems for her as well; her relationship with Doug gives Darden Pharmaceuticals the leverage to pressure her into helping them cover up his murder. Katrina’s secret keeping is a reflex, honed since childhood, but the narrative illustrates how the power of these secrets grows beyond her ability to control them, affecting both personal and professional relationships.
While the other characters have fewer secrets than Katrina, those secrets still prove to be fundamental to the problems that the characters face, as well as the movement of the narrative’s plot. Katrina’s neighbor George keeps her location a secret after she asks him to, not even revealing the truth to Cleo or Aidan. While George is merely abiding by Katrina’s wishes and keeping her secret, the repercussions of the decision affect both her family and the police investigation. Not knowing Katrina’s whereabouts creates fear and anxiety for Cleo and Aidan, as well as obstructing the police’s investigation and wasting their time. The negative repercussions of George’s decision to keep Katrina’s secret illustrate how even secrets that are kept with good intentions can create problems.
Secrets kept by characters are more straightforwardly damaging and broaden the exploration of secret keeping in the novel. Aidan’s decision to have an affair with Janine has created distance in his relationship with Katrina. Its revelation, along with his theft of Katrina’s inheritance, makes him a person of interest in his wife’s disappearance. Similarly, Cleo’s decision to keep her relationship with Will a secret from her mother has tragic consequences. Had she revealed the relationship to Katrina sooner, Will’s identity as Reed might have come to light before he attacked Katrina. In addition, keeping the relationship a secret puts Cleo in a vulnerable position. Throughout the novel, the narrative makes the point that if the characters had been honest with each other, it would have strengthened their relationships, made them safer, and helped avoid conflict.
The Bond Between Mothers and Daughters
Like Mother, Like Daughter is, above all other things, an exploration of the relationship between mother and daughter. The novel opens with a Prologue that reflects on motherhood, while Chapter 1 immediately centers a daughter’s reflection on her feelings about her mother. The tension between Katrina and Cleo is explored throughout the novel, but ultimately, despite their differences, they demonstrate their common traits. By the end of the novel, they learn the importance of being honest with one another, deepening their relationship and strengthening their bond.
Through Katrina’s point of view, the novel delves into both the joys and uncertainties of motherhood. Over the course of the novel, Katrina constantly expresses doubt about her qualities as a mother and second-guesses her approaches to the role. For instance, in the Prologue, she describes the challenges and rewards of motherhood, but she emphasizes that “you will get so much of it wrong” (n.p.). Katrina berates herself for her daughter’s estrangement and her inability to give Cleo what she needs—unconditional support and affection. She seeks comfort from peers like Janine and Lauren, who echo her feelings of self-doubt about motherhood and reassure Katrina about her abilities as a mother. Lauren reassures Katrina that she has “been doing everything [she] can” to help Cleo (164). Katrina is skeptical about this, but Lauren reminds her that “what mother ever feels like they’ve done everything?” (164). Lauren’s comments highlight the difficult position that mothers are in, where whatever they do, they will always wonder if they could be doing something more. Katrina takes this to heart, seeing her distance from Cleo as a sign that she is somehow failing.
Cleo’s feelings about her relationship with her mother shift over the course of the novel as she comes to understand Katrina better. At the beginning of the novel, Cleo is ambivalent about her mother, resenting Katrina for being controlling and meddling in her life. However, over time, she comes to recognize how much she desires a closer relationship with her mother. She tells her therapist, “I almost texted my mom after our last sessions […] I did miss her for the first time in a long time” (200). This shows that she wants her bond with her mother to be stronger, despite Katrina’s failings. This feeling grows as Cleo learns more about Katrina’s life, especially her traumatic past. For the first time, Cleo begins to see Katrina “as an actual person separate from [her]” (153). This new perspective on Katrina leads Cleo to understand her mother better, opening the door for a stronger, more intimate relationship.
Over the course of the novel, Cleo and Katrina use similar strategies to learn more about one another, highlighting how important the relationship is to both of them. Cleo tenaciously confronts Vivienne Voxhall about her possible involvement in Katrina’s disappearance and then uses that relationship to learn more about Reed and Katrina’s past. Her methods echo Katrina’s own aggressive approach with those she feels may be hurting her daughter. She enlists the help of an NYPD friend to beat up Kyle, Cleo’s drug-dealing boyfriend, in an attempt to keep her daughter safe. These efforts to become closer are rewarded at the end of the novel, with their reconciliation. Cleo is back in the family home in Park Slope instead of in her dorm at NYU. She has resolved to help her mother recover from her injuries, and Katrina has resolved to be more open and affectionate with her daughter. Each woman, over the course of the novel, has learned more about the other, and they have both learned how to show both support and understanding, ultimately strengthening their bond and redefining their relationship.
The Impact of Past Trauma on the Present
Like Mother, Like Daughter illustrates how past traumas that go unaddressed can create ripple effects both in the victim’s life and in the lives of those around them. This theme is largely explored through the history, actions, and decisions of the protagonist Katrina and their effect on her daughter, Cleo. Katrina was raped by her creative writing tutor, Reed, when she was 14 years old and living in a group home. She stabbed and believed that she murdered the man. This traumatic event, and its concealment, leaves Katrina vulnerable to extortion as an adult and creates a barrier between her and her daughter.
Katrina’s trauma has created a life-long need to control her environment, and this need is especially acute when it comes to the safety of her daughter. The depth of the impact of Katrina’s trauma is illustrated by her reaction to Cleo having sex with her long-term boyfriend at the age of 14. Her initial reaction to the revelation was harsh and judgmental, and even Katrina realized later that it was out of proportion. The fallout was drolly dubbed “Virgingate” by Katrina and Cleo. However, once it is revealed that Katrina was raped at 14, her reaction to Cleo having sex at that age becomes more understandable. As her best friend, Lauren, explains it to Cleo, “because of how [Katrina] grew up…she can’t help seeing the world as a place so dangerous, it needs to be controlled” (91). Cleo resents what she perceives as her mother’s judgment and her reluctance to let her be herself. Aidan also recognizes this, telling Katrina, “You can’t control everything, Kat—the makeup, the clothes, who she’s dating” (15). Katrina’s desire to control the world to keep Cleo safe is a trauma response, but it creates conflict in their relationship.
The novel explores how past traumas that are not addressed can resurface in malignant ways in adulthood. This is expressed very literally through Reed’s extortion messages to Katrina and her emotional responses to them. The wording of the first message passes this message to Katrina, stating, “It’s your past calling. Almost all the way caught up to you” (29). The past then literally “catches up” to Katrina, as she is immediately plunged into a memory of “trying to scrub clean the beds of [her] nails” from all the blood (30). This literal manifestation of her past trauma comes to a climax at the end of the novel, when Reed physically attacks her. However, this final confrontation also proves to be the catalyst for Katrina to begin to move past her trauma. For the first time, she addresses her trauma directly, commenting that when she testifies in court, “it will be a relief” (297). With this revelation, Katrina recognizes the catharsis of confession and begins to be able to address the ways in which her past trauma has affected her present life.
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